Why are some people

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Poca

Guest
Why is it so hard for people to believe that not everyone wants to get married? Why folks are so quick to assume and jump into conclusion and never accept the proposed explaination?

Not because one wants to get married and values such rite than others should as well!
 
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nikkigiovanni

Guest
that...and all women want to have kids....lol

i just laugh
 
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Poca

Guest
Picong: I do not want to get married. But I don't think that it is impossible to be to in a longterm meaningful relationship without saying I DO. If both are happy with their decisions to commit to each other without a "marriage" than who are we to say that their relationship is not real commitment. There are people who last way longer in non- married relationship than married ones, so which is best? isn't the goal to be with someone whom you trust and want to be with?
 

iPicong

New member
Picong: I do not want to get married. But I don't think that it is impossible to be to in a longterm meaningful relationship without saying I DO. If both are happy with their decisions to commit to each other without a "marriage" than who are we to say that their relationship is not real commitment. There are people who last way longer in non- married relationship than married ones, so which is best? isn't the goal to be with someone whom you trust and want to be with?
I see your point and dont object to a common-law union with REAL commitment...........did you always feel this way?
 
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Poca

Guest
I always viewed myself as non "marriable" person due to the "roles" I would have to take on and the rules that I would have to abide by. However, I did get married and it reinforced to me that indeed, I am not a "marriable person in the general sense of that kind of union.

There are no emotional differences between common-law and marriage relationship. I think where some folks get it mixed up, might be because to some people who do not fully understand the concept of what common-law really is. It is not a phase where you await for somethimg or someone better to come along. Common-law couples do everything that married couples do: having kids, buying real-estate, join accounts etc.
There just couple who just do not feel the need to have their union validate by either the gov. or a religious body.


Anyway, being the person that I am, I do not see myself and cannot see myself being involved with anyone on a marriage level nor common-law level.
 

Swollen

Players Play I Coach
Picong: I do not want to get married. But I don't think that it is impossible to be to in a longterm meaningful relationship without saying I DO. If both are happy with their decisions to commit to each other without a "marriage" than who are we to say that their relationship is not real commitment. There are people who last way longer in non- married relationship than married ones, so which is best? isn't the goal to be with someone whom you trust and want to be with?
Are you scared of the divorce stigma.
Most common-law unions do have a this reasoning.
BTW How did the dinner come out?
 
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nikkigiovanni

Guest
I always viewed myself as non "marriable" person due to the "roles" I would have to take on and the rules that I would have to abide by. However, I did get married and it reinforced to me that indeed, I am not a "marriable person in the general sense of that kind of union.

There are no emotional differences between common-law and marriage relationship. I think where some folks get it mixed up, might be because to some people who do not fully understand the concept of what common-law really is. It is not a phase where you await for somethimg or someone better to come along. Common-law couples do everything that married couples do: having kids, buying real-estate, join accounts etc.
There just couple who just do not feel the need to have their union validate by either the gov. or a religious body.


Anyway, being the person that I am, I do not see myself and cannot see myself being involved with anyone on a marriage level nor common-law level.
somebody applaud this woman!!!!!!!!

funny thingis everyone thinks that coco forces her way of thinking on people in a miserable fashion...but i find the MAJORITY of people on imix does the same think...they believe that just because it's THEIR standard...that it's a UNIVERSAL standard..and that is regarding personal, professional, familial, marital, religious, educational, beauty, etc etc issues
 

iPicong

New member
I always viewed myself as non "marriable" person due to the "roles" I would have to take on and the rules that I would have to abide by. However, I did get married and it reinforced to me that indeed, I am not a "marriable person in the general sense of that kind of union.

There are no emotional differences between common-law and marriage relationship. I think where some folks get it mixed up, might be because to some people who do not fully understand the concept of what common-law really is. It is not a phase where you await for somethimg or someone better to come along. Common-law couples do everything that married couples do: having kids, buying real-estate, join accounts etc.
There just couple who just do not feel the need to have their union validate by either the gov. or a religious body.


Anyway, being the person that I am, I do not see myself and cannot see myself being involved with anyone on a marriage level nor common-law level.
I do agree that EVERYBODY not meant to be married.........but I think you just need some tender reconditioning.........ever read "d taming ah d shrew" ..........
 

Swollen

Players Play I Coach
somebody applaud this woman!!!!!!!!

funny thingis everyone thinks that coco forces her way of thinking on people in a miserable fashion...but i find the MAJORITY of people on imix does the same think...they believe that just because it's THEIR standard...that it's a UNIVERSAL standard..and that is regarding personal, professional, familial, marital, religious, educational, beauty, etc etc issues
It's just her delivery that matches her personality.
Sorry but your sister delivery is too much forceful.
Like the song go. "if it don't fit, don't force it, just relax and let it go."
 
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nikkigiovanni

Guest
It's just her delivery that matches her personality.
Sorry but your sister delivery is too much forceful.
Like the song go. "if it don't fit, don't force it, just relax and let it go."
*guffaw*

like YOUR delivery is any better

who is unno to try to set a standard....everybody is an individual...this homogenous collective..all share one brain and one opinion shit is for the birds....get over yourselves...people are INDIVIDUALS, with their own personalities...but then again,the majority of unno have no personality..just inadequate facsimiles of what you think you should be
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
to some extent nikki, you are both wrong and right..

i was suprised when coco JUMPED on fiyah about not doing his part and not contributing by not marying a black woman when in truth and fact he was legally married and she wasn't married at all.. (in NY common law marriages are not valid).. it wasnt really a look at her relationship per se (i dont really care).. it was surprisig to me how quickly she accused him of being part of the problem when he really wasn.t..
 

vincyempress

UNBREAKABLE
I am still young but when i was younger i used to day dream about marriage "bliss" after my first love..that "bliss" fades daily
 
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Poca

Guest
Are you scared of the divorce stigma.
Most common-law unions do have a this reasoning.
BTW How did the dinner come out?
I am not scared of any stigma, I am divorced. where I live most couples are in common-law relationships. It is def. the norm, and believe me the reason they don't don't get married is not because the are afraid of divorcing him, it's only a personal decision.

As for the dinner, everything went fine. My friend was pleasantly surprised. She told her parents to eat before they come because she said that the food would not be edible.


somebody applaud this woman!!!!!!!!

funny thingis everyone thinks that coco forces her way of thinking on people in a miserable fashion...but i find the MAJORITY of people on imix does the same think...they believe that just because it's THEIR standard...that it's a UNIVERSAL standard..and that is regarding personal, professional, familial, marital, religious, educational, beauty, etc etc issues

I think that in general people fail to be honest with themselves. It's one thing to like someone, but it's a totally different thing to really want that person.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
i really have no expectations of marriage yes.. it is what you make it.. it isnt a semi-constructed reality that you just slip into.. its somehing you build from the ground up...and keep adding and renovating until one or both of you vacate the premises!
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
I am not scared of any stigma, I am divorced. where I live most couples are in common-law relationships. It is def. the norm, and believe me the reason they don't don't get married is not because the are afraid of divorcing him, it's only a personal decision.

As for the dinner, everything went fine. My friend was pleasantly surprised. She told her parents to eat before they come because she said that the food would not be edible.





I think that in general people fail to be honest with themselves. It's one thing to like someone, but it's a totally different thing to really want that person.
poca. your friend threw you under the bus :D.. she said your food wouldnt be edible? lol. that would be the last time that friend see my kitchen (unless is one of your old friends that can joke around on anything)
 

Swollen

Players Play I Coach
poca. your friend threw you under the bus :D.. she said your food wouldnt be edible? lol. that would be the last time that friend see my kitchen (unless is one of your old friends that can joke around on anything)
Naa you need to read the thread 1st before coming to that conclusion.

I flung Poca some advice for that meal.
So that warning from her friend was quite warranted.
 
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