Things a Jamaican would never do


Yardie fi life!
Yuh eva see Jamaicans a climb mountain wid flag and claim victory when dem reach de top?

Yuh eva see we ah hang out inna di miggle ah di Amazon jungle?
Fi wah reason???

Yuh eva see we inna sea, bout we looking fi di Great White Shark
No sah - wi watch it pon TV

Yuh eva see a Jamaican acting pon big screen going into a haunted house and asking ... Trevah you in deh?" If him foolish enuf fi go ina di haunted house him an di duppy dem can tan in deh.

Yuh eva hear a Jamaican man seh ... "no honey ... no need to cook rice and peas wid oxtail and a little chicken pon a Sunday ... mek wi eat a light salad instead." Try yuh best ... not pon yu life.

Yuh eva si a Jamaican wey luv talk over people food ... put dem face inna it an sey dat looks and smell good? No sah! Dat wi cause fight.

Yuh eva see Jamaican tek meat outta fridge and stick it inna oven widout lickle seasoning?

Yuh eva hear Jamaican inna di werk place ah talk bout how much time him wife mek him sleep pon di couch? Crazy tings dat, cause even if she shut di door she expect him fi kick it open.

Yuh eva si a Jamaican have dem dog a lick dem face? Yuh mad?

Yuh eva see yawd ppl have dem dog sleep inna di same bed wid dem? Or dawg inna di couch and when dawg get up dem go lay down innna di same couch inna di same spat?

Yuh eva see yawd people kiss dem dawg pon di mout?

Yuh eva hear seh yawd people tek 5 days off from work because dem puss dead?

Yuh eva hear a Jamaican madda innna a store a tell dem pickney "no sweetheart, you can't have that, please put it back on the shelf"
Instead, yuh will hear someting like dis ... "lissen yah pickney, mi nah walk a street an pick up money, put dung di blassted sweetie dem an no badda mi peace tiday, yuh hear mi"?

Yuh eva see Jamaican do any wuk afta dem get pay pon Friday. All di manager dem a play domino round a back.