Ladies, If a man showed signs of being frugal on the First Date, Is That A Red Flag

Hello BKLYN

Searching For Answers
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and lets keep this reasonable and not get rediculous with this conversation bout being frugal means sneaking in the movies, or taking you to eat in McDonalds for dinner...

examples of Frugal might be going to a restaurant close by as not to burn too much gas, or going to a theater that has free parking or using groupon, or avoiding toll roads on the way to where ever yall go etc..
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
he can be frugal by doing a picnic in central park or something active and light as a first date... if you show yourself to be uber cheap, some women may become turned off by that.. basically if the emphasis is on getting to know the person but it's low cost it may come across differently from the emphasis being on the cost, not really getting to know the person..
 

EloquenceInc

Get your passport & come !
??
and lets keep this reasonable and not get rediculous with this conversation bout being frugal means sneaking in the movies, or taking you to eat in McDonalds for dinner...

examples of Frugal might be going to a restaurant close by as not to burn too much gas, or going to a theater that has free parking or using groupon, or avoiding toll roads on the way to where ever yall go etc..
Sigh. How about we just get out of "least common denominator" thinking? Stop watching what's the LEAST a woman will tolerate and you can still get her, and start brainstorming what's the MOST you can do for her and not fall in a hole.

LCD thinking killing off the vibes just stop.
 

Moqueca

Registered User
The woman should be happy that the man is frugal. It means he is relationshipship/marriage material because he is not going to spend his money on crap.
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
??
and lets keep this reasonable and not get rediculous with this conversation bout being frugal means sneaking in the movies, or taking you to eat in McDonalds for dinner...

examples of Frugal might be going to a restaurant close by as not to burn too much gas, or going to a theater that has free parking or using groupon, or avoiding toll roads on the way to where ever yall go etc..

If that is your definition of "frugal"....then you know not what frugal means.

"frugal" means getting Quality for little expense, or finding ways to get the MOST FOR your dollars spent.

HB' u said lets not get out of hand with this thread topic, but you already started crooked....lol,ha!
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
he can be frugal by doing a picnic in central park or something active and light as a first date... if you show yourself to be uber cheap, some women may become turned off by that.. basically if the emphasis is on getting to know the person but it's low cost it may come across differently from the emphasis being on the cost, not really getting to know the person..
"Some" as being what...very very few?

lol.


"Cheap" for most women equates to: "Not giving/offering me EXACTLY what I EXPECT or ASK FOR."


One post Y2K dating pet peeve I notice is: The abundant amount of women that try to live out their dreams & interests, on a prospective man's dollars.

Ask, a woman what's her interest or things she likes to do...she'll name/list a few or bunch of things. But when you ask her when's the last time/how frequently she does these activities, and you find it's a "I haven't" or a "I would like to"....lol, oh I get it...you can't afford it.
 

NikkiGiovanni

Warrior Queen


"Some" as being what...very very few?

lol.


"Cheap" for most women equates to: "Not giving/offering me EXACTLY what I EXPECT or ASK FOR."


One post Y2K dating pet peeve I notice is: The abundant amount of women that try to live out their dreams & interests, on a prospective man's dollars.

Ask, a woman what's her interest or things she likes to do...she'll name/list a few or bunch of things. But when you ask her when's the last time/how frequently she does these activities, and you find it's a "I haven't" or a "I would like to"....lol, oh I get it...you can't afford it.

lol...not true...but i can see why you would say that.....

you wouldn't or can't date a woman who finances her own passions and desires...because she would be too high maintenance for you
 

Swollen

Players Play I Coach
Yuh learning HB nice post mi brethren...

50 yrs old and still don't know shit tsk tsk....
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
i dunno bout that.. i do what i want to do when i want to do it yes.. so i cah relate.
Well, we know ur UNIQUE & SPECIAL.. that's why D'gon did wed yuh.

lol...not true...but i can see why you would say that.....

you wouldn't or can't date a woman who finances her own passions and desires...because she would be too high maintenance for you
lol...MissMayling would say you ah fool for thinking that about me.
 

Taj

Loyalty to Loyalty
??
and lets keep this reasonable and not get rediculous with this conversation bout being frugal means sneaking in the movies, or taking you to eat in McDonalds for dinner...

examples of Frugal might be going to a restaurant close by as not to burn too much gas, or going to a theater that has free parking or using groupon, or avoiding toll roads on the way to where ever yall go etc..
i mean those things you mentioned, would a woman realize your motivation for doing it like that?
ppl like proximity
many theatres have free parking on weekends
maybe you just know that way (and happen to avoid tolls)

if it were me and u doing those things i'm probably be clueless your primary motivation for doing them

maybe you need better examples

frugal is different from cheap eh
frugal has to do with your finances, when you open it up for someone else to impact on your finances I don't see how you can continue to be frugal on that occasion without looking like an ____. Why invite someone out then say well lets skip to maincourse or smthg like that.
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
i mean those things you mentioned, would a woman realize your motivation for doing it like that?
ppl like proximity
many theatres have free parking on weekends
maybe you just know that way (and happen to avoid tolls)

if it were me and u doing those things i'm probably be clueless your primary motivation for doing them

maybe you need better examples

frugal is different from cheap eh
frugal has to do with your finances, when you open it up for someone else to impact on your finances I don't see how you can continue to be frugal on that occasion without looking like an ____. Why invite someone out then say well lets skip to maincourse or smthg like that.

I think u not considering a factor that men are subjected to when it comes to Date 1-3.

Women are gauging/assessing who you are as a man by the first date activity to the 3rd date activity. A lot of women refrain from sharing their interests or frequent activities from a man, just to see if his interest & activities clash or in alignment with theirs.
Man: So, what would you like to do/go out to?

Woman: Where ever you will like to take me, or go....
I'm saying all women are like that...by no means, but 60-70% fall into that category.

I think the biggest issue with this "he's cheap" thing that man may encounter might have a bigger deal with lack of dialogue & Honest communication on his part.

You just can't spring situations on people and expect them to be understanding...Perhaps, if a fella said something like:

"Hey, I don't know if you free Friday evening...but I have this Groupon to an Italian restaurant down 38th street. Would you like to go?"

Instead of: "You free Friday night...lets go out?

Then arriving at a restaurant and using a groupon, can be really awkward cuz it was not expected. You'll come off looking CHEAP, and not Frugal.
 

Taj

Loyalty to Loyalty



I think u not considering a factor that men are subjected to when it comes to Date 1-3.

Women are gauging/assessing who you are as a man by the first date activity to the 3rd date activity. A lot of women refrain from sharing their interests or frequent activities from a man, just to see if his interest & activities clash or in alignment with theirs.


I'm saying all women are like that...by no means, but 60-70% fall into that category.

I think the biggest issue with this "he's cheap" thing that man may encounter might have a bigger deal with lack of dialogue & Honest communication on his part.

You just can't spring situations on people and expect them to be understanding...Perhaps, if a fella said something like:

"Hey, I don't know if you free Friday evening...but I have this Groupon to an Italian restaurant down 38th street. Would you like to go?"

Instead of: "You free Friday night...lets go out?

Then arriving at a restaurant and using a groupon, can be really awkward cuz it was not expected. You'll come off looking CHEAP, and not Frugal.
ok, i do hear ya.

but sometimes ppl just make things complicated.
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
ok, i do hear ya.

but sometimes ppl just make things complicated.

I hear that too....

but just like I was discussing with a woman this morning, as you get older the stakes get higher. Therefore, creating more complication in developing relationship.

If you Taj had $100K saved up in your savings account...or a retirement fund, whatever. You might have consider the chance of a man coming into your life marrying you, wiping out your account, or mismanaging your savings. Average woman doesn't have to ever think about that, so in that area less complication for her...oppose to you.
 

Taj

Loyalty to Loyalty

I hear that too....

but just like I was discussing with a woman this morning, as you get older the stakes get higher. Therefore, creating more complication in developing relationship.

If you Taj had $100K saved up in your savings account...or a retirement fund, whatever. You might have consider the chance of a man coming into your life marrying you, wiping out your account, or mismanaging your savings. Average woman doesn't have to ever think about that, so in that area less complication for her...oppose to you.
lol so most women don't have a nest egg they wanna protect
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
lol so most women don't have a nest egg they wanna protect

lol, my point being with the example is as you get older and start to live more progressive life, you gain and accumulate more assets to lose then just your TIME, ENERGY, EMOTION, BODY. Most 25 yr olds are not thinking about establishing a Legacy, especially in comparison to someone well over 30.

Actually, I think 28 & 29 are pivotal yrs for a woman...it's that transition phase, it's that: "What do I really want for my future."

Oppose, to 22 & 23 where it's more of: "What do I want for myself."
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
and taj made a point colo


there is a difference between being frugal and being cheap.. a man can go out on a frugal date and have a lot of fun based on the effort he puts into planning it out.. whereas a man who is being cheap restricts the date within certain parameters cos his focus is on the cost....

frugal - going on a first date and riding around Central park on bikes, stopping for ice cream.. sitting under the stars and having a little picniic... that's frugal.. (so the woman feels like the date is still an attempt to get to know her )

cheap... going to a restaurant and saying, only the appetizer eh cos these restaurants expensive these days yes... (the woman feels like her meal is imposing on his finances and may feel uncomfortable )
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
and taj made a point colo


there is a difference between being frugal and being cheap.. a man can go out on a frugal date and have a lot of fun based on the effort he puts into planning it out.. whereas a man who is being cheap restricts the date within certain parameters cos his focus is on the cost....

frugal - going on a first date and riding around Central park on bikes, stopping for ice cream.. sitting under the stars and having a little picniic... that's frugal.. (so the woman feels like the date is still an attempt to get to know her )

cheap... going to a restaurant and saying, only the appetizer eh cos these restaurants expensive these days yes... (the woman feels like her meal is imposing on his finances and may feel uncomfortable )
Absolutely....



Frugal man is a sexy one and I would know he is this way prior to a first date

Give examples, or cues for the uninformed viewers.
 
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