mr. wadadli got me to thinking about a topic that has long been on my mind: I have to say I have been wholly disappointed by 90% of the weddings I have attended in my life. A few of those have even reached a level of disgust.

The ceremonies themselves seem like little more than pomp and circumstance, stand here, walk there, repeat after me. I would think it to be the most monumental of days, arguable the most heartfelt display two people engage in. But I never feel that during the ceremony at all.

So few weddings have I seen people recite their own vows, something personal, from themselves, from the heart. So few people put their own prints on the ceremony, research things, discuss with the minister, etc. The biggest cultural stretch nowadays you see is for the couple to jump the broom afterwards.

1-What does everyone else think about this?
2-Do you think this has had any effect, negative (or positive) on society, on the state of things in our community, etc.?

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My idea wedding is when a man ties a string around me and my partners hand.. Nuff said!!

But marriage in today's society is far more than a spiritual experience since it has been ladden with many laws/rules/etc...
Will I be a conformist and marry one day, probably!!

But the whole idea of the thing has gone the way of the birds and shows no since of ever returning for clearer skies...

*The PG Version*

I agree with yuh... lots of people only gettin married today cause they feel they "need" to get married (understand what i mean? ) ... the meaning of the union and the associated feelings seem to be pretty much lost .... the fact that one can get married today and divorced the nex jus goes to show a marriage is more of a "thing"/event rather than the beggining of a very special lifetime bond

I think it therefore does have an impact on society cause those who are now growin up in these days are loosing what the true meanin of marriage is and do not have many good marriages to act as models of how a loving marriage should be

a lot of marriages these days do not have "true" love and end up becoming problematic or they jus simply end and this is adding on to the other things that are becoming socially acceptable
eg teenage pregnancies, being intimate with several people at the same time, teenage use of drugs/alcohol, kids not striving to continue with education after high school... etc

*hope ah jus made sense cause ah REAL tyad...lol*

I wonder if any of the married IMixers will have anything to say on this topic, and not just we single forever-hopefuls

who u callin single forever-hopeful! :p

Would you be my Imix wife or are you already taken?!?

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for dat ring i'm sure ah could work somethin out....hahahaha:p

So is that yes or a no?!? :p

umm i'll get back to u:p

*sigh* see I probaby should have used the string picture I was going to post up!! :p

Wha?!? Auntie, look pan dah ring!!!! Is wha u waitin' fuh, love ar something?!? :p

Eh eh, speaking of which, how many couples today you hear get engage and marry and there was never an engagement ring? Is wha really goin' on?

WELL HERE IS THE MARRIED PERSPECTIVE


I had a traditional catholic wedding, and we had the opportunity add our own words to the traditional vows, however since i reach almost an hour late to the church the priest cut half the ceremony down cause 5 pm mass was about to start and i now coming down de aisle.

But my wedding reception was very personal, i knew 95% of the people there (my mother had her own cheerleading section of her friends i met for the first time) Every person who got up to say something put tears in my eyes, and my husband made an hour long speech as to how much he loves me.

My law school friends (mostly white) who attended my wedding said it was the best wedding they had ever been (referring to the love by all that was felt in the room)

I had 100 people at my ceremony, those 100 people meant something to me (and my mother ), i did n't invite people just for show or cause.

While a lot of it maybe "pomp and circumstance" when there are hard days i look at my wedding pictures and remind myself of how i felt that day and somehow that reflection helps me from not strangling baxters on many occasions

So wha u t'ink baxters use to keep from strangling the mrs.? :p :p
which then by contrast means there were many other weddings they'd been to that didn't come close....sigh, depressing it is. So, given your example maybe it's not just 'us' alone that have lost our way?

i'm loving dis topic, but can't reply at this time. will be back after yamming my dinner.

I think one particular comment i remember is from a very wealthy chick from Boston, she told me she had been to all kind of weddings especially the 1 million dollar ones... and she said that most of the time these is no love in the room, families usually waring, etc etc...

I think people get married for the wrong reason. Especially women. In our materialitic world, many people look for a mate who has material things instead of substance. Instead of saying can i build a life with this person and acquire things together, they looking for the person with the BMC, house and bling.

So when they mature and realize those things don't mean anything, most often they are left with someone they don't know and don't like.

Just my humble opinion of what i see around my own social circles.