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we always hear about the youth these days and how they are out of control. the talk of the 90's was that it's the parents who should be role models (or guardian's) and raise the kids yadda yadda. in 2day's society thatz no longer acceptable or at least should be looked at again.

i can't begin 2 tell u (and u've xperienced it too) about the way these children are behaving. the way they act and the conversations on top of lack of respect and deceny they carry on the in public is so embarassing. too many times i c as little as 3 or 4 young bucks cursing and carrying on in front of tons of adults (train, bus, park, u name it) and the grown ups just ignore them like they r not there.

it's either bcuz adults r scared 2 say something or don't care enuf to pull them aside and say at least chill or so. i think the whole community is responsible or should have input when it comes to these things. thoughts?

salt

I feel you on that one. I was at the doctor's office the other day and this woman came in with her 2yr old and he wanted to play and she said no. lil man started screaming and when she picked him up, he started punching her in the face...........now, you know that no child of mine could put god out of their thoughts to do no mess like that. and she just stood there and took it. i see it in my community as well, but my kids will get one clout or a ring ears and they tails eh go forget who is boss!!!! sometimes i swear the kids are the parents and not the other way around. parents let their kids get away with too much these days. the most famous reason is that they got licks growing up and they don't want to do that to their kids...............maybe they didn't get enough licks growing up is my feeling!!!!

I remember when I was a child that if one of us on the block did something wrong or said something wrong. We were told by one of the respected adults on the block, and when we got home to our parents...well yuh know the rest. Now, if you correct a child the mother starts acting stupid, saying "don't tell my child what to do...blah blah blah" Now people are afraid to correct other children becasue of the backlash they may get. Parents go to the school to cuss out and sometimes beat up the teacher because the child failed a class. HELLLLOOOOO how about just talking to the teacher to find out why the child failed and then doing something about your child not doing the school work. How about doing that. If I got below a 'C' there were questions from my parents. I didn't get a cuttail but my parents let me know I could do better.

My nephew try all that craziness on us, I let him know who is the adult. Yuh have to show them to respect the elders no matter how many times it has to be pounded in thier heads.

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so true..........i am raising my kids just the way my grandmother raised me and so far, there have been no problems. they know how to act when they're at home-wild and crazy- and how to act when they're out or when we have company and i don't have to cut their tail too often 'cause just a look will suffice. believe me, i've seen how some people act in school with the teachers and it is truly embarassing as a parent to have to witness some of the mess these teachers have to deal with in this day of the almighty lawsuit.

All valid points. I hear and also feel the pain. The unfortunate circumstance though, is that parents have shifted their roles somewhat. When we were raised, they seemed to have more time to dedicate to us. Not only our parents but the community as a whole. It seems today, most of them have little or no time to dedicate to their kids. Therefore, the kids end up making decisions for themselves. Mostly the wrong ones. Ever heard the statement " it takes a village to raise a child". Well it seems the villlage has grown out of proportion and we have lost control. Combined with that is, we are under different moral and ethic codes.
And yes, the so-called moral majority. Yes you know them! The ones that tell you how to discipline your child...how you should allow little Johnny to vent and embarrass you in public etc. Yet they offer you no solution to an increasing problem. These poeple make matters worse
The world has changed! When we were kids, we played so many child-like games. Look around at the kids these days. They no longer play nor are they interested. MTV and video games are priority one in their lives.
I too shun away from disciplining kids I don't know because you never know these days what they are carrying...guns, knives etc. Yes, that in-action pains me but the risk of getting shot enters my mind quickly. I want to be around to raise my own! Am I wrong for thinking this way?
I believe it is up to us as individuals to raise our kids with a certain set of standards. Those standards have been distorted by constant and inconsistent rhetoric dispelled to us by so-called experts. These experts, normally 'DINKS' fail to recognize that child raising involves individual situational responses, not the broad based ideas they so love to share.
I have a lot of the old values and it is with those values, I raise my child. I can only hope and pray others do the same. Nuff Said!
D Bad Lad

spare de rod, spoil de chile (or someting to dat effect), but de rod neva do me no good eh

dbadlad: You make some very valid points:

(1) The moral majority has taken over and parents that may want to discipline their kids in public may hold off because they do not know if a stranger will call 911 on them. There are very few parents that want to take that risk and can we honestly blame them for that. Can you imagine having your kids being taken away because you disciplined them in front of the wrong person.

(2) Unsurity of the kids: It is true that it takes a village to raise a child, but as you said, you do not know what that child maybe carrying. I can picture it now, trying to tell one of those "children" on the train to watch their language and then it turn taking offense and taking it out on me. Now, would that statement really have been worth the danger that I may have put myself into?

(3) The best route is for FAMILY to take control of each other. let the aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins assist the parents in teaching the kids right from wrong, good from bad. It is so true that parents do not have half the time they did back in the day and that is exactly why the rest of the family should chip in.

Nowadays I think kids are raising themselves b/c in the house they are not getting any attention or love..Thats why the gang population is so high in new york they are all kids looking to one another for attention which there not getting at home..Again I Say Parenting is a full time job not part time..

You know I was just having this conversation with someone the other day.

She said West Indian hoodlums and American hoodlums are two different things, and while I try not to do the "us and them" separation, I have to agree more.

The values and cultural system is just entirely different. I used to live in Flatbush in a predominantly WI building. I've never had an issue with telling the loafers in front of the building to move, without fearing that they're gonna pull out a gun and shoot me. Somehow I don't get that same feeling of confidence in my new neigborhood (predominantly black Americans).

In this society, you don't know who is who -- its not like the Caribbean where you could say "Oh, that is so and so chile!" and tell the parents....Here you can never be sure if someone is gonna pull a gun or a knife on you. I was on the train one day and these girls came on the train cursing up a storm. A lady asked them to lower their voices because she had her little girl with her. Would you know they turned on the woman and started telling her some things that I would be ashamed to even repeat.

These are different times and definitely a different environment.