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The Spirt Moves On Before The Body Dies
by Clark Deleon

We let my mother die - my brothers, sisters and I - in a way not unlike what is happening with Terri Schiavo. Mom was in terrific health and planning to host a party at her home on the same day she suffered a massive stroke.

In the hospital during the immediate hours afterward, I would have sworn that she could understand us. She couldn't speak or see, although her eyes were open. Bus as the family gathered around her bed, I swear, she smiled at a joke. Actually it wasn't a joke, but after Mom smiled we all agreed that whatever had been said was very funny and that, beneath the mist, Mom was as sharp as ever.

And that is what hope does to a family.

We saw what we wanted to see. Those odd jerking motions with her left leg, like she was trying to kick off her bed sheet, we saw as a sign she was trying to communicate to us. Bus as the hours stretched into days, there were fewer signs.

And all the information from the doctors was bleak. The spoke plainly, but in a language of percentages, while we sought yes or no answers. Eighty-five percent of her brain had been lost; 90 percent of people in such a condition fall into a coma for the rest of their lives.

At first we wanted to know if our mother would live. But soon we were asked to decide how she should die.

As with Terri Schiavo, the decision involved the feeding tube. Family consent was required before the surgical procedure to insert an artificial feeding device.

In what was perhaps the most sacred meeting of our lives, we sons and daughters held hands and agreed to let our mother starve to death. That's what she would have wanted. That's what her living will stated. But not in those words, of course.

It was only when Terri Schiavo's mother pleaded this week, "Don't let my child die of thirst," that I felt my first twinge of resentment toward her parents' long public fight to keep their daughter alive. We can all relate to the concept of thirst better than to dehydration. "Thirst" is a desire Terri hasn't been capable of feeling for 15 years.

Technically, my Mom may have died of a lack of nutrition and water, but during her last days she never experienced hunger or thirst. She died at home in her own bedroom with the curtains open on a sunny Saturday morning. She lived 87 great years, plus two weeks she does no remember.

I am certain that Anne Emilie DeLeon's spirit arrived in heaven days before her human heart stopped beating. She would have been so proud of the way she died, of her children, of her dignity, of the love her life had mad possible.

And as I watch the news bulletins of the sad final hours of the mortal life of Terri Schiavo, I wonder if, in a death, her parents will , at last, be able to grieve the loss of a child who disappeared so many years ago. Will they ever be able to let go? Will they ever be able to forgive? Will they ever regret the political whirlwind their daughter's long goodbye has caused?



From Monday, March 28, 2005's edition of metro New York

Morning Marc...

It's 10 mins to 12pm here, so I can honestly return in kind...

Good Mawnin Persia.

I HOPE you read this article and contribute.

And not JUST look for me to be in some cyber-drama today with somebody on here.

LOL.

How was your weekend hon?

Mine was a blast.

Sorry about ur mom
I also think that once in that state the spirit is long gone and the machine is just pumping blood through out an empty vessle

Yes.... read the article, and as you stated, interesting. I had a simular experience a couple of years back when my grandma was dying from cancer. I've learned to respect people's opinions and feeling esp., about contraversal issues.

I had a great weekend, cancelled all of my clients, didn't feel like working on a holiday weekend. A couple of them weren't happy, but understood. Kinda mellow today, feeling good... what is it you say you do again?

oh yeah.... my personla opinion is the body should be let go along with the spirit... what's the sense of honoring a shell??? (that's my two cents)

Can you imagine the terrible backlash her death will bring about??

It's not my mom's.

My mom's is back home in St. Maarten as we speak.

This I took from...ahhh...juss look at the bottom.

I documented everything clearly.

ok i take it back
and there i was feeling bad for u
But my opinion still stands

Don't feel bad for me.......yet.

I'll let you know when to start.

LOL.

Good post though...seriously.

kool