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RESUME

George W. Bush - The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport,
Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of
alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas
driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and
went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any
questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air
National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in
Vietnam.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a
low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and
lost. I began my career in the oil business in
Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but
couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought
the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal
that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of
my father and our right-wing friends in the oil
industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected
governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS: I changed
Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles
as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes
and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of
billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the
most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida,
and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I
became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I am the first
President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries
at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per
week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively
bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record
for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set
an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed
in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for
most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of
the U.S.stock market. In my first year in office, over
two million Americans lost their jobs and that trend
continues every month. I'm proud that the members of
my
cabinet are the richest of any administration in
U.S. history. My poorest millionaire," Condoleeza
Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set
the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a
U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world
record-holder for receiving the most corporate
campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign
contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay,
presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud
in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron
private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my
success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my
election.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton
against investigation or prosecution. More time and
money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky
affair than has been spent investigating one of the
biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over
the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
to intervene when corruption involving the oil
industry was revealed. I presided over the highest
gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S.
policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts. I appointed more convicted
criminals to administration than any President in
U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland
Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of
the United States government. I've broken more
international treaties than any President in U.S.
history. I am the first President in U.S. history
to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the
Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the
World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors
access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and
thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva
convention. I am the first President in history to
refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the
2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest
numbers of press conferences of any President since
the advent of television. I set the all-time record
for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I
presided over the worst security failure in U.S.
history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S.
after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a
year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the
world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world
history. I have set the all-time record for most
people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in
public venues (15 million people), shattering the
record for protest against any person in the history
of
mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to
order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the
military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so
againstthe will of the United Nations, the majority of
U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut
health care benefits for war veterans and support a
cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their
families -- in war time. In my State of the Union
Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq,
and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am
he first President in history to have a majority of
Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest
threat to world peace and security. I am supporting
development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a
WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring
Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: All records of my tenure
as governor of Texas are now in my father's library,
sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of
SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public view. All records or minutes
from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended
regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy
and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN
2004.

You think he easy?? Read and enjoy.

dbadlad

If only these sensible Americans could read and comprehend this.................Oh what ah wonderful 'world' it would be.

I mean the man is dumb.........he could never think of a speech on his own.......I also think he is racist.......