Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 54

Thread: Whats d appropriate wait time for marriage when dating seriously? I say two years...

  1. #16
    Registered User Persia's Avatar Persia is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,360
    Credits
    1,191
    Quote Originally Posted by shortsweetness
    Now you can't stick firmly to a date if the boy is showing that he is making moves. Is he making moves to build a life with you? Are you living together? How long, if so? How long ago did he first tell you that he love you? All that needs to be taken into consideration before 730 days after your first date, you cut it off

    Have you talked about it? Does he say he ain't sure? If so, only you wouold know if he would ever be sure

    Well sis, dais why I puttin it to the I-mix family. He doin all de right tings, but truthfully, he need to know I'm serious. We live together and all my friends envy the fact that I have such a good man, but I am not willing to let it turn into some 10 year ordeal... NO SIR!!! I don't hound him and refuse to pressure him, but I definately need to be assured that it's gonna happen. Ah juss lookin fuh engagement right now.... he tink dais marriage!!!

  2. #17
    Poca
    Guest
    i think 2 yrs is way way too soon to get married, been there, done that.

    by the way what do you people consider serious dating?

  3. #18
    Registered User iPicong's Avatar iPicong is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    JC/Brazil 2014
    Posts
    51,424
    Credits
    44,178,436
    Quote Originally Posted by shortsweetness
    But we know PLENTY of relationships where the people have been together several (dozens of) years, without marriage (or at least I know of many).A woman can't say after 10 years of a relationship, "it doesn't matter how many years we are together.... if he wants to marry me he will decided when the time is right"
    HUH? When will the time ever be right?
    What will be will be. Society and probably women more than men put a number on everything relationship wise, and when it doesnt go the planned way, they are devastated. The other thing that people dont even want to accept is that marraige and family life is not for everyone, so it should not be forced.

  4. #19
    Blah! shortsweetness's Avatar shortsweetness is offline
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    3,467
    Credits
    1,289,195
    Quote Originally Posted by Persia
    Well sis, dais why I puttin it to the I-mix family. He doin all de right tings, but truthfully, he need to know I'm serious. We live together and all my friends envy the fact that I have such a good man, but I am not willing to let it turn into some 10 year ordeal... NO SIR!!! I don't hound him and refuse to pressure him, but I definately need to be assured that it's gonna happen. Ah juss lookin fuh engagement right now.... he tink dais marriage!!!
    That's a tough one. I say listen to what you instincts tell you. .... I know for me, I ain't going down that road again anytime soon (easy for me to say now, right?) because the emotional pain takes a physical toll.

  5. #20
    Registered User Persia's Avatar Persia is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,360
    Credits
    1,191
    Quote Originally Posted by soraya
    i think 2 yrs is way way too soon to get married, been there, done that.

    by the way what do you people consider serious dating?

    I think serious dating is spending most of your free time together, maybe living together and planning your life together... not limited to these things though... I was married for 8 years, so I'm definately not looking to rush into it. I just need to know I ain't wasting meh time. It's diferent if he say he doan want to marry...

  6. #21
    Blah! shortsweetness's Avatar shortsweetness is offline
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    3,467
    Credits
    1,289,195
    Quote Originally Posted by soraya
    i think 2 yrs is way way too soon to get married, been there, done that.

    by the way what do you people consider serious dating?
    I'm not saying getting married, but making a deeper commitment. Of course after 2 years, if the man hasn't said I love you or made moves to possibly move in, perhaps thinking about engagement is too soon
    Serious dating (to me) is when you say it's just me and you and you begin to make compromises for the sake of you relationship. For instance, you compromise how much you go out. I guess serious dating is not a firm thing to me. Much more vague.

  7. #22
    Blah! shortsweetness's Avatar shortsweetness is offline
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    3,467
    Credits
    1,289,195
    Quote Originally Posted by nygee
    What will be will be. Society and probably women more than men put a number on everything relationship wise, and when it doesnt go the planned way, they are devastated. The other thing that people dont even want to accept is that marraige and family life is not for everyone, so it should not be forced.
    SO TRUE, but that what women (who are looking for marriage) should know from their partners before heading down in a relationship that last forever without that ultimate commitment

  8. #23
    ........ G.T. socalova's Avatar G.T. socalova is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,866
    Credits
    1,016,034
    Quote Originally Posted by socadahlin
    That's what I think too. But then again not everybody falls in love at the same rate. I always used to think that I don't be with nobody for as long as 6 years or sumting like dat cuz das bad luck. Everybody I hear bout who just been dating dat long and een get marry yet only is end up gettin tired of each other for some reason or one of dem is be ready for the next level and de odda still laggin behind and ting.
    But, it shouldn't tek too long to fall in love wit a person, if u do.

    Persia, I agree 2 to maybe 3 yrs. is fine, shouldn't wait too long... get married while tings still fresh. Age and being ready has alot to do wit it also.

  9. #24
    xtremeintl.com Mystic Xtremist's Avatar Mystic Xtremist is offline
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Plugged In From Zion
    Posts
    18,980
    Credits
    4,835,937
    Quote Originally Posted by Persia
    I definately agree with dat. I tink 2 years is long enough.
    I think there are a lot of variables in life that you are not considering. What if the two ppl met in undergrad, and then want to do finish grad school and get settled before putting that kind of expense on themselves? Now you're talking 6 years easily. Or what about if one/both is in med school or law school, or in the military?? Could be longer. I know a couple that b/c of grad school and such, it was about 9 years from the time they met till when they got married.

    Trust, you can't live life by just simple numbers; life has a habit of making you eat your words every time. Too many variables.

  10. #25
    Registered User iPicong's Avatar iPicong is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    JC/Brazil 2014
    Posts
    51,424
    Credits
    44,178,436
    Quote Originally Posted by shortsweetness
    SO TRUE, but that what women (who are looking for marriage) should know from their partners before heading down in a relationship that last forever without that ultimate commitment
    u could tell some of dem till yuh blue in de face, once a female wants something, she will try all how using all de tricks in de book to make it happen, some of dem not all. they feel the could change your stance

  11. #26
    Poca
    Guest
    so what is the difference between serious dating and engagement?

    i would find it suspect if i am with a man after two yrs and he is already convinced that i am the woman of his life. 2 yrs go by so fast, i am sure the person haven't seen the full scope of my personnality.

  12. #27
    Ball-in-Hand Hotgirl11226's Avatar Hotgirl11226 is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    6,389
    Credits
    1,033,290
    Quote Originally Posted by Persia
    What's your opinion?
    I feel that a man knows what he wants. What he's willing to compromise and what simply won't do. If you're in a relationship for a certain amount of years and there is no progress, whether it's 2 years, 4 years then its time to move on. If after x years, you want marriage but your partner doesn't, then its time 2 move on. Lastly, if you're with some1 for like 10 years...then most likely, your partner is just waiting to see if something "better" will come along or if he should "settle" with you. Men tell me if I'm wrong.

  13. #28
    Registered User Persia's Avatar Persia is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,360
    Credits
    1,191
    Quote Originally Posted by soraya
    so what is the difference between serious dating and engagement?

    i would find it suspect if i am with a man after two yrs and he is already convinced that i am the woman of his life. 2 yrs go by so fast, i am sure the person haven't seen the full scope of my personnality.
    After two years, if you haven't shown me yuh colors, I don't want to know dem.....

    So ah waiting another 10 to find out de real you????????????

  14. #29
    Poca
    Guest
    well maybe that the partner doesn't value marriage as the other one who wants to get married....
    i seriously do not see the difference between being in a serious, long term relationship and being married....


    Quote Originally Posted by Hotgirl11226
    I feel that a man knows what he wants. What he's willing to compromise and what simply won't do. If you're in a relationship for a certain amount of years and there is no progress, whether it's 2 years, 4 years then its time to move on. If after x years, you want marriage but your partner doesn't, then its time 2 move on. Lastly, if you're with some1 for like 10 years...then most likely, your partner is just waiting to see if something "better" will come along or if he should "settle" with you. Men tell me if I'm wrong.

  15. #30
    Registered User iPicong's Avatar iPicong is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    JC/Brazil 2014
    Posts
    51,424
    Credits
    44,178,436
    Quote Originally Posted by soraya
    so what is the difference between serious dating and engagement?

    i would find it suspect if i am with a man after two yrs and he is already convinced that i am the woman of his life. 2 yrs go by so fast, i am sure the person haven't seen the full scope of my personnality.
    thanks for your sanity, people fooling themselves into rushing into things early when it going good and both parties being nice. Having been there and done dat, i wouldnt marry someone i have known for less than 5 years.

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •