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Thread: WHAT DUMMIES!

  1. #1
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
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    WHAT DUMMIES!

    i got this in an email:

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
    AT&T FIRED President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
    Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
    who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters,
    officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police
    line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
    An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY!
    A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money
    in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
    clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed
    up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT???
    Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
    control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to
    repeat the words,"Give me all your money or I'll shoot" the man shouted,"That's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
    A man spoke frantically into the phone,"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are
    only two minutes apart!". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
    The man shouted,"This is her husband!".

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
    In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
    up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
    simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
    (hellllllooooooo!)

    8. THE GRAND FINALE
    Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem.
    No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
    He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
    NOW REMEMBER ... THIS IS TRUE...
    Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer

  2. #2
    Blessed Ms SocaBaby is offline
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    RE: ladies pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee


  3. #3
    Registered User pennywhine's Avatar pennywhine is offline
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    RE: WHAT DUMMIES!

    YEAH DEM PEOPLE REAL CHUPID IN TRUTH!!!

  4. #4
    Registered User sanfranjouvay's Avatar sanfranjouvay is offline
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    RE: WHAT DUMMIES!

    Oh, i needed a good laugh. thanks. those were hilarious.

  5. #5
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
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    RE: WHAT DUMMIES!

    yuh see, when yuh under heavy pressure and stress, yuh does do sh*t!!

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