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Thread: Waiting for "permission" to be who you want to be

  1. #1
    CocoErotika
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    Waiting for "permission" to be who you want to be

    Do you think people especially women for for "permission" to be who they really wanna be? Like being hurt in relationships grants them the permission to shed society's constraints and pursue personal happiness that they previously felt guilty about.

    They say women reach their sexual peak in their 30's and 40's. IS that mostly because they felt they "paid their dues" to society by doing what was expected and since they did not get the desired results... they are opting to do them before it's too late.

    Is this reason why no one is the same after a breakup? Does it take others doing them before some people realize it is okay for them to do it too?


    why is there such guilt associated with being who you want to be that some people live in the closet and dont realize how miserable they are trapped in the world that was built by somebody else's desire for you (parents, society, spouse, etc)

    Can you say this is the life you always wanted? Are you free?

  2. #2
    Who feels it knows it! Georgeflash's Avatar Georgeflash is offline
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    I know for men the first girl that breaks their heart sets the course for their sexual and emotional development.

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    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    Coco, as you mentioned factors like society/parents/spouse...Do you think that "Dating Older Men" can also be a factor too?
    Girly boy why do you get such a kick out of dissing women? - Namey Namey

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  4. #4
    Notchilous ladyrastafari's Avatar ladyrastafari is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by CocoErotika View Post
    Do you think people especially women for for "permission" to be who they really wanna be? Like being hurt in relationships grants them the permission to shed society's constraints and pursue personal happiness that they previously felt guilty about.

    They say women reach their sexual peak in their 30's and 40's. IS that mostly because they felt they "paid their dues" to society by doing what was expected and since they did not get the desired results... they are opting to do them before it's too late.

    Is this reason why no one is the same after a breakup? Does it take others doing them before some people realize it is okay for them to do it too?


    why is there such guilt associated with being who you want to be that some people live in the closet and dont realize how miserable they are trapped in the world that was built by somebody else's desire for you (parents, society, spouse, etc)

    Can you say this is the life you always wanted? Are you free?
    i have never bought into what society wants in that aspect.. cos at the end of the day when you wiping your tears.. "society" wont be there to help you cope with your broken heart.. so do you.. all the neighbors and family friends and everybody who always has something to say.. will never be around when it's crunch time..

    You have to live with what you do in your life.. so if you know you not comfortable with it.. then dont do it.. somebody somewhere will always judge you as " too..." or "not...".. so why worry? jsut live your life..
    Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

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    mi style still sharp .....u a A-Minor and dem a B-Flat

  5. #5
    CocoErotika
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colossus_Supreme View Post
    Coco, as you mentioned factors like society/parents/spouse...Do you think that "Dating Older Men" can also be a factor too?

    I dont understand...please explain

  6. #6
    Registered User Appleton is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by CocoErotika View Post
    Do you think people especially women for for "permission" to be who they really wanna be? Like being hurt in relationships grants them the permission to shed society's constraints and pursue personal happiness that they previously felt guilty about.?
    That's assuming they've learnt/grown from the break-up

    Quote Originally Posted by CocoErotika View Post
    They say women reach their sexual peak in their 30's and 40's. IS that mostly because they felt they "paid their dues" to society by doing what was expected and since they did not get the desired results... they are opting to do them before it's too late..?
    hard to call... even women who did them mature sexually as they get older.

    Quote Originally Posted by CocoErotika View Post
    Is this reason why no one is the same after a breakup? Does it take others doing them before some people realize it is okay for them to do it too? ..?
    hmmm...interesting :


    Quote Originally Posted by CocoErotika View Post
    why is there such guilt associated with being who you want to be that some people live in the closet and dont realize how miserable they are trapped in the world that was built by somebody else's desire for you (parents, society, spouse, etc)..?
    having others have the 'right' perception of you make many happy....it's an acceptable trade-off when they consider their life with the alternative

    Quote Originally Posted by CocoErotika View Post
    Can you say this is the life you always wanted? Are you free?
    yes....yes


    interesting thread....i wonder why no-one posting?.....

  7. #7
    Who feels it knows it! Georgeflash's Avatar Georgeflash is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Appleton View Post
    interesting thread....i wonder why no-one posting?.....
    Are you kidding ???
    Could you take a wild guess as to the average I.Q. around here?

  8. #8
    Registered User Appleton is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Georgeflash View Post
    Are you kidding ???
    Could you take a wild guess as to the average I.Q. around here?
    :....i thought it was more...'grown folks aren't online yet'

  9. #9
    Who feels it knows it! Georgeflash's Avatar Georgeflash is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Appleton View Post
    :....i thought it was more...'grown folks aren't online yet'
    These knuckle heads are more into following around celebrities and sports figures. Most are incapable of an independent thought.

    I use them for sport mostly.

  10. #10
    Registered User Appleton is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Georgeflash View Post
    These knuckle heads are more into following around celebrities and sports figures. Most are incapable of an independent thought.

    I use them for sport mostly.
    there's been alot of celeb stuff in the news this week so i think the board is bombarded more than usual.....but this is a good thread...let's keep bumping it to see

  11. #11
    Who feels it knows it! Georgeflash's Avatar Georgeflash is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Appleton View Post
    there's been alot of celeb stuff in the news this week so i think the board is bombarded more than usual.....but this is a good thread...let's keep bumping it to see
    If this is as close as I will get to bump with you, for now I'll take it. LOL

  12. #12
    CocoErotika
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    Quote Originally Posted by Appleton View Post
    there's been alot of celeb stuff in the news this week so i think the board is bombarded more than usual.....but this is a good thread...let's keep bumping it to see
    this board always focus on celebrities and sports figures... oh yeah reality shows too. it is not just a recent thing

  13. #13
    Registered User Appleton is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by CocoErotika View Post
    this board always focus on celebrities and sports figures... oh yeah reality shows too. it is not just a recent thing
    : nah...didn't say the interest was recent..just the emphasis....but i've been here where the entire week focused on .serious issues.

    But this is a good thread...kinda like Taj's self reflection...that took a while to pick up too....really makes you think about how life unfolds when you're a woman and whether or not our decisions are actually ours or someone elses.

    thought about my upbringing....it's a good thing to do

  14. #14
    Bamcee Connoisseur BostonG's Avatar BostonG is offline
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    not everyone is into that celeb gossip and sports nonsense.
    "It's very important that you enjoy your hobbies. Your hobbies are your outlet for your soul. It is only until you enjoy your time on earth, that you are pleasing God."
    -Mikey

    Trini to de Bone, Haitian for the Cause!

  15. #15
    Warrior Queen NikkiGiovanni's Avatar NikkiGiovanni is offline
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    i don't think it's about permission as it is about comfort levels....most people in their youth is trying on different skins,(cutting apron strings from parents and sometimes rebelling) it isn't until they are in their 30s possibly that one get comfortable in their skin...some people may get comfortable before and some afterwards

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