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Thread: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

  1. #1
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
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    True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    got this in an email:

    INNER SKELETON-----
    A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.

    FEMALE SOFA-----
    A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.

    PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!
    In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

    PING PONG ANYONE?-----
    A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
    (Boy, we live sheltered lives -- thank goodness)

    BLIND DRUNK-----
    A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

    OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!-----
    A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.


  2. #2
    De Scribe Metro Robber's Avatar Metro Robber is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    Thanx Lady, a man trying to eat he vegetable omellette with lightly buttered rye toast and I start to read this. If I was a man with a weaker stomach I would have been calling "Earl". Dem things can't be real! Only in America! Next time save this kinda email for later...not breakfast time!! Is it sunny there...it real gloomy over here.

  3. #3
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    I was saying the same thing but since I'm a Pre-Med student at LIU this shouldn't bother me right WRONG!! those stories are sick!!!

  4. #4
    FIRE STORM Nferno is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    I second that midnight.

  5. #5
    Livin' 4 BabyCapone dtrinicapone's Avatar dtrinicapone is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    I think that 500lb lady was an x galfriend of mine in college yes.

    A robber big hard back man like you eating omlette fa breakfast. wah's dat one?

  6. #6
    Old School Member Panman06's Avatar Panman06 is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    A 500 lb girlfriend???? :o

    We have to talk bredren!!

  7. #7
    Livin' 4 BabyCapone dtrinicapone's Avatar dtrinicapone is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    hear what de gyurl was 110 in college meh ain't know what happen. a dread lower ya tone ya understan.

  8. #8
    De Scribe Metro Robber's Avatar Metro Robber is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    Don't hate son cuz ya eatin' dry Crix and water for breakfast.

  9. #9
    Livin' 4 BabyCapone dtrinicapone's Avatar dtrinicapone is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    hate Trust de I i'm not hating. YOU should be hating I had BAKE and plenty SALTFISH for breakfast with a tall glass of ovaltine. try ya best robber.

  10. #10
    Old School Member Panman06's Avatar Panman06 is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    All I had was tea!

    I hatin!!x(

  11. #11
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    :) ah sorry dahlin! i wasn't studyin de time! it real sunny here...not too hot though...FALL IS COMING

  12. #12
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    :) he in jail ohwha'?! :) nah, dey eat better dan dat in jail! :)

  13. #13
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    ah didn't have a ting...ah starvin' like marvin!! (who de a*s is marvin anyway?!:))

  14. #14
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    *steups* ah jealous now! x(

  15. #15
    Registered User pennywhine's Avatar pennywhine is offline
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    RE: True Emergency Room Visits!!!

    :o :o where in the world do you get this stuff from

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