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Thread: Three Minute Management Course

  1. #1
    Heri DSP's Avatar DSP is offline
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    Nov 2005

    Three Minute Management Course

    3 Minute Management Course

    Lesson One:

    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

    The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

    All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

    Lesson Two:

    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

    Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

    Management Lesson: Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

    Lesson Three:

    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

    While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Management Lesson:

    1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy;
    2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend;
    3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

    This ends the three minute management course.
    Unfortunately, stupidity and ignorance can be entertaining.

    Goodle this you 50 year old crusty vagina

    --oh yes jigger boozers ever lasting wahr with the "lovers of empresses and hafrican queens" should be ashamed ~jigga boozy aka Carlo Pagan

    --I like disrespect especially ones that dont involve cursing and nugga nugga nugga watch subject matter ~jigga boozy aka Carlo Pagan

  2. #2
    Sweetness4life Mrs. Yankee Doodle's Avatar Mrs. Yankee Doodle is offline
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    Jan 2005
    in our own happy world.............
    good ones..............

  3. #3
    Wempy WadadliEmpress's Avatar WadadliEmpress is offline
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    Jan 2005
    LOL my boss loves this...

  4. #4
    Fyah Statah zouk's Avatar zouk is offline
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    Jan 2004
    Da City dat never zzzzzzzzz
    so true

  5. #5
    Loyalty to Loyalty Taj's Avatar Taj is offline
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    Mar 2006
    Fix up, look sharp!

    I like this

    A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced
    altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,
    "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an
    hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You
    are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the
    ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59
    and 60 degrees west longitude."

    "You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist."
    "I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the
    balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no
    idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost.
    Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed
    my trip." The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

    "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well,"
    said the woman, "you don't know where you are and you don't know where
    you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity
    of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and
    you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you
    are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now,
    somehow, it is my fault."
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

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