Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 24

Thread: Staying together for the kids

  1. #1
    Blessed ILanDFnTsY's Avatar ILanDFnTsY is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    The Road Less Traveled
    Posts
    13,361
    Credits
    1,088,474

    Staying together for the kids

    Do you think it makes sense to stay in a relationship or a marriage for the children even if you are both miserable?

  2. #2
    amprincess
    Guest
    no not all. Of course it will be difficult for the kids to adjust to separation or a divorce, but in the long run they will be better off. Alot of pyschological & emotional damage can be done to the kids if they are growing up in a household where the parents are miserable & fighting. Children pick up on alot more than we think. My parents separated when I was 12 & even though it was a bitter pill to swallow it was better than the constant fighting.

  3. #3
    Registered User yankee kitt's Avatar yankee kitt is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,641
    Credits
    1,507,636
    hell no because the kids know you're miserable. trust!

  4. #4
    da sweet one Sweetie's Avatar Sweetie is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    13,688
    Credits
    12,793
    nope... dais like my parents and all de negativity, etc does rub off on de kids ... i dunno maybe it work for some... at my age now I jus use to dem, but for younger kids I would not recommend it

  5. #5
    0
    Guest
    nah... if yuh miserable ... leave

  6. #6
    Former IMIX POSTER Child montREALady's Avatar montREALady is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    11,019
    Credits
    1,026,567
    no...but a lot of people do it anyway. kids pick up on negative vibes and it's not healthy for them. later on, the parents will regret it and say, "wait, i wasted all these years with him/her and i wasn't happy?"...it doesn't make sense.

  7. #7
    One Eye Monster Inc.. Desperado's Avatar Desperado is offline
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    brooklyn
    Posts
    10,787
    Credits
    1,015,433
    That is the worst think to do b/c a child senses tension between the parents, and know there is no longer love in the house just anger. Thats were the word WHY comes in.

  8. #8
    D'Only1
    Guest
    I once considered doing that, but then realized that my son is only 3 years old, I would rather leave now than pretend his mommy and daddy are happy (when infact we were not). I rather him grow up knowing we don't get along than wait until he is 10/11 to tell him mommy and daddy getting a divorce. AT least from now he know and will grow up knowing we don't get together than break his world once he got used to us being together. its a hard choice but sometimes you have to be selfish, it is better in the end.

    Like right now, he know we do not live together anymore, he knows we both love him. Still has hopes of us living together again but he knows that it is not going to happen. As he gets older he will be used to it.

  9. #9
    Dragon
    Guest
    The kids need ah stable home to live in. I was raised by ah single mother and look how I turned out … No good …de imix hoe

  10. #10
    Blessed ILanDFnTsY's Avatar ILanDFnTsY is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    The Road Less Traveled
    Posts
    13,361
    Credits
    1,088,474
    Originally posted by Dragon
    The kids need ah stable home to live in. I was raised by ah single mother and look how I turned out … No good …de imix hoe
    Are you saying a stable home must consist of both parents? Is a home where there is constant discord stable? healthy?

  11. #11
    Rum Aficionado/Soca-holic Rummy's Avatar Rummy is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    Ft. Lauderdale
    Posts
    20,352
    Credits
    1,027,691
    My parents split up when I was 21....I knew for a few years that they weren't happy. well I knew mom was unhappy...I don't think my dad had a problem. My brother was 15...But I don't think people should have to be miserable for the kids. You need to think about your future...if you wait too long, it might make it harder to find someone else. What if you wanted to have other kids? You really want to wait til your kids are grown to start over?

  12. #12
    Dragon
    Guest
    Originally posted by Ilandfntsy
    Are you saying a stable home must consist of both parents? Is a home where there is constant discord stable? healthy?

    YES .......... PUT THE KIDS BEFORE YOURSELF .... THEY DID NOT ASKED TO BE BORN

  13. #13
    Happily Ever After Dougla Ting's Avatar Dougla Ting is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    My own world
    Posts
    17,077
    Credits
    1,534,359
    Originally posted by Dragon
    YES .......... PUT THE KIDS BEFORE YOURSELF .... THEY DID NOT ASKED TO BE BORN

    They also did not ask to be caught in the middle of two parents bickering and fighting constantly.

  14. #14
    Dragon
    Guest
    It sounds like some of you ladies have ah hidden agenda. What's with all the questions why couples wanting to stay tougher. Don’t send hidden messages just call up the man a say baby what the deal with you and the woman yuh live with. You know the man had ah woman when yuh first meet him why the ass now yuh think yuh in love. Yuh telling de man to leave his woman. ………………… yes I am going crazy plus I am ah little PISS


    *Singing all ah need in my life is me an my money

  15. #15
    An Ivy of Class classyivy1's Avatar classyivy1 is offline
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    Queens
    Posts
    1,987
    Credits
    21,223
    I have a friend who married his daughter's mother because he wanted to give his child a stable home. Less than a year later, they were separated and he was claiming that "it was the worst decision" he's ever made. Now he's unhappy because he's still married to her and she does not want a divorce. He wants to move on with his life but he's torn between doing the right thing for his daugther and being happy for himself. No one can provide a stable and healthy environment for their kids if they are unhappy. Your kids' happiness is very much connected to your own.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •