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Thread: Speak your Mind

  1. #1
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    Speak your Mind

    okay i see we have some idle in every thread, so i decided to make a thread where it fully allows any chit chat wat so ever (we dont spell check) we an also call it a chit chat thread. or anythign goes.

    have fun.
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  2. #2
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  3. #3
    ~*~In the Mix~*~ BajanPryncess is offline
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    How come I didn't see this thread originally???

    Anyhow, I'm tired as hell, that game is gonna have to wait until later. I'm out!
    Still standing...:)

  4. #4
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    dunno, but i guess i'll see you tomorow.
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  5. #5
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    Map Quest, funny as hell

    Remember the first time you used MapQuest to get driving directions? Remember that feeling of freedom from road atlases, from directions given by gas station attendants that only spoke three words of English, one of them "tortilla"?

    Remember the first time MapQuest got you lost? Remember that feeling of fear as you drove through rows of inner city housing projects, praying to find the Red Lobster where you were supposed to meet your friends two hours ago?

    Remember the first relationship that broke up because you were late, again, by following MapQuest's increasingly horrible directions?

    I live in Boston, where it has been said that the roads were planned by horses (early horse-and-carriage trails were later just paved over to form our current spaghetti-tangle of roads). At MapQuest, I think the software has been developed by horses also. How else would you explain some of the bizarre routes that MapQuest encourages you to take in the name of "efficiency"? Are the MapQuest horses always trying to steer us near an oats factory? Away from the dogfood plants? Is that it?

    It seems to me that every time MapQuest gets you lost, you should be able to call them up and ask for directions. I went out in the middle of rush hour traffic with my laptop and cellphone, and made the following prank phone call to a lady at MapQuest headquarters.




    MAPQUEST: Thank you for calling MapQuest...

    JOHN HARGRAVE: I'M LOST!

    MAPQUEST: [Long pause]

    JH: I'm TOTALLY LOST from YOUR DIRECTIONS!

    MAPQUEST: Um ... OK, I'm not sure what you want me to do about this.

    JH: You can HELP ME! You're the MAP company, aren't you!?

    MAPQUEST: We don't usually give directions over the phone.

    JH: You work for MAPquest, right?

    MAPQUEST: Yes.

    JH: So can you look it up on one of your MAPS?

    MAPQUEST: Well, I can try to help, but I have no idea where you are, sir.

    JH: I'm trying to find 150 Clarendon Street.

    MAPQUEST: I ... ah, I have no idea what city you are in, sir.

    JH: THAT MAKES TWO OF US!

    MAPQUEST: OK. Can you spell the name of the street?

    JH: C-L-A-R-E-N-D-O-N. It's in Boston. I think I'm in Boston. But man, this is not a good area. MapQuest has really taken me to a bad part of town.

    MAPQUEST: What street are you on now?

    JH: HOW SHOULD I KNOW!? Your directions say "Bear left on UNNAMED ROAD." What does that even MEAN?

    MAPQUEST: I have no idea. I'm guessing the street just doesn't have a name. I'm not trying to be smug, I just don't know.

    JH: Is it really an unnamed road, or you just couldn't find the street sign?

    MAPQUEST: You'd need to call our Denver office for that. They do the web site.

    JH: Are you guys too lazy to figure out the name of the road? Why didn't you ask somebody?

    MAPQUEST: Sir, could you stop and ask someone there for directions?

    JH: No way. There's a group of Hispanic guys on the corner, and they look kind of angry. One of them has a razor blade around his neck.

    MAPQUEST: Oh my.

    JH: Hang on. Oh, I'm sorry, it's a locket. It looked like a razor blade. I caught a glint in the sun.

    MAPQUEST: [Uncomfortably long pause]

    JH: How we doing on those directions?

    MAPQUEST: Can you spell the name of the street again for me?

    JH: Oh, geez. One of them is coming over here.

    [At this point, I played two parts.]

    JH [as Hispanic guy]: What the Phuck are you looking at, amigos?

    JH: Hi, I'm just trying to find directions...

    JH [as Hispanic guy]: Why don't you get the Phuck out of here then?

    JH: Right, I'm leaving. I'm sorry. Very sorry.

    JH [as Hispanic guy]: ¡El ma's MapQuest es un servicio muy malo!

    JH: [Back to the MapQuest lady] You've got to get me out of here. You've got to help me.

    MAPQUEST: I'll try. I really apologize for any inconvenience. What street are you on?

    JH: THE UNNAMED ROAD!

    MAPQUEST: OK, what comes after the unnamed road?

    JH: It says to turn left on St. James Ave. But it says 0.0 miles. What does that mean?

    MAPQUEST: I really have no idea.

    JH: Why would you tell me to go 0.0 miles? Doesn't that mean to stand in place?

    MAPQUEST: Sir, do you have a phone number where you're trying to get to?

    JH: Why?

    MAPQUEST: Could you call and ask for directions?

    JH: Great. Maybe you could just put a disclaimer on the end of MapQuest driving directions that says PLEASE IGNORE THESE USELESS DIRECTIONS AND JUST CALL FIRST.

    MAPQUEST: I am trying to help you, sir.

    JH: Who codes this stuff? Horses?

    MAPQUEST: I really don't know. You'd have to contact them.

    JH: The horses? I'd have to contact the horses?

    MAPQUEST: OK, can you spell the name...

    JH: Oh no. He's ... hang on. Hold on?

    MAPQUEST: Yes.

    JH: STAY AWAY FROM ME! NO! GET AWAY! [I was now running down a busy street in Boston, carrying my laptop and cellphone. Coincidentally, an ambulance drove by me with its sirens on as I was running, adding to the effect.]

    MAPQUEST: Sir? SIR?

    JH: Hang on. [Breathing heavily] You there? Are you still there?

    MAPQUEST: I'm still here.

    JH: I found a dumpster to hide under.

    MAPQUEST: Are you OK?

    JH: Oh no.

    MAPQUEST: What?

    JH: I left my 3 year old in the car!

    MAPQUEST: YOU DID WHAT?!?

    JH: Oh geez.

    MAPQUEST: Sir, you HAVE to get back and help that child! You cannot leave your child in a bad neighborhood like that!

    JH: I know! I panicked! This is all MapQuest's fault!

    MAPQUEST: We need to help get you back right now. Do you want me to phone for help?

    JH: Oh, you know what? Hang on. Aha ha ha. I see it. It's just right across the street. There it is!

    MAPQUEST: You found it?

    JH: There's 150 Clarendon. I was just across the street this whole time! That's great. That's just great. Thanks a lot.

    MAPQUEST: You go back and get your child!

    JH: Viva La MapQuest! Thanks for your help!

    So, there you have it. Next time you need directions, just call MapQuest. Their employees are much more helpful than their technology.
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  6. #6
    She buss up shot's Avatar buss up shot is offline
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    I started playing real good and then a virus ate me. Very disappointed in you Spider. Sending tings to kill me!

  7. #7
    She buss up shot's Avatar buss up shot is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by spiderj86
    [SIZE=3]Remember the first time you used MapQuest to get driving directions? Remember that feeling of freedom from road atlases, from directions given by gas station attendants that only spoke three words of English, one of them "tortilla"?
    ...So, there you have it. Next time you need directions, just call MapQuest. Their employees are much more helpful than their technology.
    Its true, mapquest's directions are the worst.

  8. #8
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by buss up shot
    I started playing real good and then a virus ate me. Very disappointed in you Spider. Sending tings to kill me!
    lol hahahhaah i'm sorry lol, i try my best tho.
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  9. #9
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by buss up shot
    Its true, mapquest's directions are the worst.

    lol, this is an actual comedian who pulled this trick off, lol
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  10. #10
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=13006

    i thought this was really dumb, i think they were trying to be like jackass a lil to hard.
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  11. #11
    She buss up shot's Avatar buss up shot is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by spiderj86
    http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=13006

    i thought this was really dumb, i think they were trying to be like jackass a lil to hard.
    Some of it was ridiculous, but it was stupid funny. Yuh see de man who fall down in the bowling alley. How can they bother people at the cemetary. That was low.
    Good night. I get a good laugh and meh belly full. Lata!

  12. #12
    Steel City Man LastDragon55 is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by buss up shot
    Its true, mapquest's directions are the worst.

    Agreed...Mapquest sucks.

  13. #13
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
    TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

    In a Laundromat:
    AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
    PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

    In a London department store:
    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

    In an office:
    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

    In an office:
    AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

    Outside a secondhand shop:
    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

    Notice in health food shop window:
    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

    Spotted in a safari park:
    ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

    Seen during a conference:
    FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, HERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

    Notice in a field:
    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

    Message on a leaflet:
    IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

    On a repair shop door:
    WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  14. #14
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
    B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
    C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
    D- you have trouble trusting people
    E - You are a very exciting person.
    F - Everyone loves you.
    G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
    H - You are not judgmental.
    I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
    J - Jealousy.
    K - You like to try new things.
    L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
    M - Success comes easily to you.
    N - You like to work, but you always want a break
    O - You are very open-minded.
    P - You are very friendly and understanding.
    Q - You are a hypocrite.
    R - You are a social butterfly.
    S - You are very broad-minded.
    T - You have an attitude, a big one.
    U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
    V - You have a very good physical and looks.
    W - You like your privacy .
    X - You never let people tell you what to do .
    Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
    Z - You're always fighting with someone
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

  15. #15
    VIXEN by birth (mod) spiderj86's Avatar spiderj86 is offline
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    J - Jealousy.
    E - You are a very exciting person.
    A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
    N - You like to work, but you always want a break
    E - You are a very exciting person.
    T - You have an attitude, a big one.
    T - You have an attitude, a big one.
    E - You are a very exciting person.

    i guess im a very exciting person with an attitude
    MJ

    you are the greatest

    your music will live on

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