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Jinjer · 11-07-2009, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by Taj

Hmmmm sad world when ppl endorsing that SO's tell their friends business to their bf/gf.

lol what if ppl go thru 3 SO's in a year dais a whole setta random ppl knowing your friend business.

Learn to keep confidences your friend don't want to worry everytime they tell you something it becomes dinner convo between you and your SO.

steups

these are the same pple that does throw way dey friends when they get a woman/man only to go crawling back when the relationship goes sour

Taj · 11-07-2009, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by Jinjer

these are the same pple that does throw way dey friends when they get a woman/man only to go crawling back when the relationship goes sour

gurrrrrrrrrrrl

maybe i easy to ketch horn but if there's something private bet. them he can't tell me i just have to hold my corner and trust. I know what I would do for my friends so what's the problem if he is as loyal to his friends male or female.

Jinjer · 11-07-2009, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by Taj

gurrrrrrrrrrrl

maybe i easy to ketch horn but if there's something private bet. them he can't tell me i just have to hold my corner and trust. I know what I would do for my friends so what's the problem if he is as loyal to his friends male or female.

true and women are also very intuitive

my problem with colossus' scenario is that

1. She knew they were friends

2. She knew the extent of the relationship to the point that she felt comfortable calling this chick yet he felt the need to lie to her

That right there is more than enough reason for me to raise an eyebrow. Not that you were lending a shoulder...but the fact that you felt the need to LIE about it

Nica · 11-07-2009, 12:16 PM

I absolutley see no insecurity in the woman in this scenario. I see genuine concern. The story changes when the best friend is called and both best friend and SO gets caught in a lie.

However if people have a routine and something changes, I think it's normal to be concerned. I'm not saying blow up his phone and everybody else's, that he knows but be concerned nonetheless.

Legallay a person is not considered "missing" until 24 hours have elapsed however, it's been seen too many times when shit happens in a short space of time and by the time 24hrs comes around it's too late.

Taj · 11-07-2009, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by Jinjer

true and women are also very intuitive

my problem with colossus' scenario is that

1. She knew they were friends

2. She knew the extent of the relationship to the point that she felt comfortable calling this chick yet he felt the need to lie to her

That right there is more than enough reason for me to raise an eyebrow. Not that you were lending a shoulder...but the fact that you felt the need to LIE about it

yep that's happens when the SO thinks you may not be the most rational or understanding person or it could be a case of a man overthinking things and assuming a reaction that wasn't going to happen anyway.

In the latter case maybe someone doesn't know their SO well enough

Colossus · 11-07-2009, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by Buhbayduss

sheryl is his friend not the SO friend, most friends would lie for another...

Yup, that's pretty normal....

Originally Posted by Buhbayduss

if it was you, would you want yout BF telling his SO your business

That's one of the arguments I left for people to address. No, one really jumped on that until you mentioned it now.

Originally Posted by Jinjer

huh? I'm supposed to be suspicious about that if I know they're close friends???? Depending on the depth of the friendship wouldn't that be normal?

yes, I hear you stating your personal comfort level...and that's cool. But the question is still there, how close should two friends of the opposite sex be, and still not make the SO' feel less significant than the friend? If a man/woman is single...it's whatever, whatever. But when involved, if it's 3 am in the morning and Sheryl car won't start...Should he be a true friend and give her assistance? How long can an SO' be cool with? Why does a BF/GF have to limit the interaction with their best friend, etc.?

Originally Posted by Appleton

Lol...I know you're looking for entertainment..But I'm taking a break from work for a few so I'll indulge...

Legitimate concern is manifested differently..If you think about it from a legal standpoint..an adult isn't technically considered 'missing' until 24 hours..From your scenario..it is logical that she would be concerned by the evening if it is their routine to talk to each other throughout the day and they haven't. It's still not serious enough grounds to call a third party especially given the fact that they don't live together..

As much as your point is clear, your still trying to judge what is appropriate and not appropriate actions with in a relationship. That's should be left up to the couple...You can't place general rules on people's relationships. They have to find out what works best for them as a couple.

I haven't made any generalisations. My opinion was based on the scenario presented and the girl's reaction to it..Someone could react the same way under different circumstances so the same conclusions won't necessarily be made. The direct line exists so that people don't have to go through switch boards No?..If you called someone's direct line and didn't get them why would you think you would have gotten them through the switchboard? She left messages...then why keep calling? Isn't the whole point of messages is so that the other person can call you back when they've become available?

She asked the switchboard operator, if he was in his office. The question was to get an idea of what might be going on that he wasn't available initially. If the operator said, he's is in the office than perhaps he is just busy or preoccupied...and she could have left it at that. If the operator said, No he's not there. Than she knows he out doing something...she could try the mobile...If no response. she could still fall back, because she can think he might just be busy.

Let's switch genders for a minute: If a man was calling a female like this what conclusions would we draw? Nothing is wrong with talking to your partner several times for the day but calling someone repeatedly after you've left messages is a control tactic. It assures one that the person is where they say they'll be. Again nothing is wrong with making your partner a priority but an underlying factor in her need to be calling him so much is because she sensed she isn't a priority to him...ie if she was he would be available to take her call. There would be no anxiety if she didn't feel otherwise

No where in any passages I said, she left messages...i stated she kept getting the voicemail straight. I did that purposely because there are an abundant amount of people that don't want/like/feel to leave messages. They rather continue to call you until they reach you.

Remember..women buy into this whole ' if he's not calling he doesn't care mentality'..and unfortunately many women carry this belief throughout their marriages..Women complain most about men not calling, how frequently they are calling and what is being said when they call..How many men you hear complain that their woman is not calling them enough?..Her calling so many times does not spell calm and assured woman. Particularly given the fact that they don't live together. No one is so predictable that their partner knows exactly where they are every minute of each day..

I agree with all those notions...But, I think you are being hard(or perhaps bias) on the female character. Probably, cuz you have an disdain for women who act extreme and expect their relationships grow.

My perception of her behaviour is independent of the guy though Col....She's not being rational. Why was it so hard for her to wait until he got back to her?

That's a good question...cause she is well invested. It makes her cautious, protective, involved, responsible. As we know Good/True intentions can always backfire on you...and make you look like and extreme idiot. As, you stated she should have made not getting a hold of him...such a Big deal. And, because of that...her urgency brought her to a place, where she had to deal with way more than she bargained for. That's why a lot of people, move and take their SO' lightly...because of the things they might see or learn that could hurt and devastate them. Hence, "I don't want to know if I gettiin Horned" outlook.

Originally Posted by Taj

Hmmmm sad world when ppl endorsing that SO's tell their friends business to their bf/gf.

lol what if ppl go thru 3 SO's in a year dais a whole setta random ppl knowing your friend business.

Learn to keep confidences your friend don't want to worry everytime they tell you something it becomes dinner convo between you and your SO.

steups

That's another argument I wanted people to address. How to be a true friend, and respect ur SO?...seems to be a touchy & complicated task.

Originally Posted by Jinjer

these are the same pple that does throw way dey friends when they get a woman/man only to go crawling back when the relationship goes sour

That's another point or result....that brings us back to the question, How to be a true friend, and respect ur SO?

Originally Posted by Taj

gurrrrrrrrrrrl

maybe i easy to ketch horn but if there's something private bet. them he can't tell me i just have to hold my corner and trust. I know what I would do for my friends so what's the problem if he is as loyal to his friends male or female.

LOL...i see you found a reasoning that suited for u.

Originally Posted by Jinjer

true and women are also very intuitive

my problem with colossus' scenario is that

1. She knew they were friends

2. She knew the extent of the relationship to the point that she felt comfortable calling this chick yet he felt the need to lie to her

That right there is more than enough reason for me to raise an eyebrow. Not that you were lending a shoulder...but the fact that you felt the need to LIE about it

I wanted it to be true to life. Everyone in the scenario is accountable and could have done something that would have help the situation not to get so sticky & hairy...where all involved didn't feel pinched.

Originally Posted by Nica

I absolutley see no insecurity in the woman in this scenario. I see genuine concern. The story changes when the best friend is called and both best friend and SO gets caught in a lie.

Exactly...once again I wanted to show how the SO & BF were just as responsible for the mayhem, and the GF's extreme behavior.

However if people have a routine and something changes, I think it's normal to be concerned. I'm not saying blow up his phone and everybody else's, that he knows but be concerned nonetheless.

Definitely, we all know by now whatever we allow to happen in the beginning of the relationship...will eventually be apart of the substance of the relationship.

Legallay a person is not considered "missing" until 24 hours have elapsed however, it's been seen too many times when shit happens in a short space of time and by the time 24hrs comes around it's too late.

There are many instances, where people have thought about doing something...but didn't want to come off extreme...and could have saved a life.

Originally Posted by Taj

yep that's happens when the SO thinks you may not be the most rational or understanding person or it could be a case of a man overthinking things and assuming a reaction that wasn't going to happen anyway.

In the latter case maybe someone doesn't know their SO well enough

I wanted to project all those elements...because there's no manual on what you should or shouldn't do in a relationship. We just have to learn from each other, and do what's suitable for our relationship. In some instances when we think we are protecting others, we are only hurting them or even hurting ourselves.

Appleton · 11-08-2009, 08:27 AM

As much as your point is clear, your still trying to judge what is appropriate and not appropriate actions with in a relationship. That's should be left up to the couple...You can't place general rules on people's relationships. They have to find out what works best for them as a couple.

Col..just because my view on the 'scenario' doesn't coincide with yours doesn't mean I'm judging what's appropriate in a relationship. Maybe next time if you want a holistic answer for your scenario you should present the case in it's entirety rather than presenting a story in phases based on what people's responses are to the first act

She asked the switchboard operator, if he was in his office. The question was to get an idea of what might be going on that he wasn't available initially. If the operator said, he's is in the office than perhaps he is just busy or preoccupied...and she could have left it at that. If the operator said, No he's not there. Than she knows he out doing something...she could try the mobile...If no response. she could still fall back, because she can think he might just be busy.

Again he's at work..why would anything be going on? Why would this be cause for 'concern' ?

No where in any passages I said, she left messages...i stated she kept getting the voicemail straight. I did that purposely because there are an abundant amount of people that don't want/like/feel to leave messages. They rather continue to call you until they reach you.

Congratulations..what does this prove exactly? So she doesn't like leaving messages..this is her man..did it occur to her that if she left a message he might try to get back to her 'sooner'..Not wanting to leave a message while being 'concerned' doesn't make sense..But I guess you didn't think about it that way huh?

I agree with all those notions...But, I think you are being hard(or perhaps bias) on the female character. Probably, cuz you have an disdain for women who act extreme and expect their relationships grow.

Now I find this truly interesting. You present a story in fractions..I've only commented on the story based on the information you have doled out and now I'm being accused of being disdainful...Hmmm..doesn't every woman in a relationship want their relationship to grow? You took great pains to describe the woman's behaviour yet you're surprised that my opinion of the scenario wasn't based on the fact that the friend was female or that the friend covered for the man..Half-way through the thread you throw in the rest of the story about the man being a jerk...

...again a tactic to determine whether or not people's perceptions of events change due to more or specific types of information. Because I wasn't focussed on the extraneous variables, my perception didn't change because I was talking about the woman and what she was hoping to have in her relationship versus what she got. She has a right to be happy and have peace of mind..if she's not getting it from this man she needs to cut her losses and find a man who is committed to giving her his all. Simple.

That's a good question...cause she is well invested. It makes her cautious, protective, involved, responsible. As we know Good/True intentions can always backfire on you...and make you look like and extreme idiot. As, you stated she should have made not getting a hold of him...such a Big deal. And, because of that...her urgency brought her to a place, where she had to deal with way more than she bargained for. That's why a lot of people, move and take their SO' lightly...because of the things they might see or learn that could hurt and devastate them. Hence, "I don't want to know if I gettiin Horned" outlook.

Col..again..you are interpreting a lack of calling as an indicator of emotional investment..Why are the two so intrinsically linked in your mind? If a man isn't calling a woman 10 times for the day does that mean he does not care? If a woman isn't calling a man 10 times for the day does that mean she doesn't care? How can I make assumptions about what is appropriate in people's relationships? People do what they need to do and what makes them happy. From your scenario, the person who does not appear to be happy is the woman. Why is that? I never disputed that she is cautious, protective, involved or responsible or that she had no right to be..What I said was she does not seem to be secure in her relationship...An assessment that you have proven with the remaining fractions of your story.

But I can see that because my stream of thinking didn't fit in with yours it's thrown your idea for your thread off...I'm more focused on woman empowerment than man vilification..

. ..You're so funny Colossus...usually it's women who accuse other women of being too hard on a woman But then why didn't you devote as many sentences describing the man's behaviour? Yet you're accusing me of being biased. You knew that many women would have been distracted by a) the fact that the best friend was female..b) .she sounded like she had just woken up when the woman called....and c) the woman heard the man in the background..but I wasn't..You didn't even realise that you were the one who threw a spanner into your own story...You started by stating it was a normal day....if it was...why was there a need to be so concerned so soon into it? Remember I have always maintained that it was perfectly natural to be worried by the end of the day when she called his house and didn't get him. Being concerned because he didn't get back while at work does not add up. You call someone a few times at work and don't get them...you're so concerned yet you didn't leave any message? You're his girl, you're valued enough to have the cell number, 2 office numbers, the home number and the best friend's number...but you didn't leave a message because you just don't like leaving messages? Huh? Yes she may have been concerned alright..but his safety and well-being wasn't what she was concerned about.

Hmmm...disturbing, neurotic, disdain, project elements...sounds like you have an interest in Psychology Col...Maybe you should consider taking a course.

Jinjer · 11-08-2009, 09:24 AM

oh gosh Appleton

Colossus · 11-08-2009, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by Appleton

As much as your point is clear, your still trying to judge what is appropriate and not appropriate actions with in a relationship. That's should be left up to the couple...You can't place general rules on people's relationships. They have to find out what works best for them as a couple.

Col..just because my view on the 'scenario' doesn't coincide with yours doesn't mean I'm judging what's appropriate in a relationship. Maybe next time if you want a holistic answer for your scenario you should present the case in it's entirety rather than presenting a story in phases based on what people's responses are to the first act

She asked the switchboard operator, if he was in his office. The question was to get an idea of what might be going on that he wasn't available initially. If the operator said, he's is in the office than perhaps he is just busy or preoccupied...and she could have left it at that. If the operator said, No he's not there. Than she knows he out doing something...she could try the mobile...If no response. she could still fall back, because she can think he might just be busy.

Again he's at work..why would anything be going on? Why would this be cause for 'concern' ?

No where in any passages I said, she left messages...i stated she kept getting the voicemail straight. I did that purposely because there are an abundant amount of people that don't want/like/feel to leave messages. They rather continue to call you until they reach you.

Congratulations..what does this prove exactly? So she doesn't like leaving messages..this is her man..did it occur to her that if she left a message he might try to get back to her 'sooner'..Not wanting to leave a message while being 'concerned' doesn't make sense..But I guess you didn't think about it that way huh?

I agree with all those notions...But, I think you are being hard(or perhaps bias) on the female character. Probably, cuz you have an disdain for women who act extreme and expect their relationships grow.

Now I find this truly interesting. You present a story in fractions..I've only commented on the story based on the information you have doled out and now I'm being accused of being disdainful...Hmmm..doesn't every woman in a relationship want their relationship to grow? You took great pains to describe the woman's behaviour yet you're surprised that my opinion of the scenario wasn't based on the fact that the friend was female or that the friend covered for the man..Half-way through the thread you throw in the rest of the story about the man being a jerk...

...again a tactic to determine whether or not people's perceptions of events change due to more or specific types of information. Because I wasn't focussed on the extraneous variables, my perception didn't change because I was talking about the woman and what she was hoping to have in her relationship versus what she got. She has a right to be happy and have peace of mind..if she's not getting it from this man she needs to cut her losses and find a man who is committed to giving her his all. Simple.

That's a good question...cause she is well invested. It makes her cautious, protective, involved, responsible. As we know Good/True intentions can always backfire on you...and make you look like and extreme idiot. As, you stated she should have made not getting a hold of him...such a Big deal. And, because of that...her urgency brought her to a place, where she had to deal with way more than she bargained for. That's why a lot of people, move and take their SO' lightly...because of the things they might see or learn that could hurt and devastate them. Hence, "I don't want to know if I gettiin Horned" outlook.

Col..again..you are interpreting a lack of calling as an indicator of emotional investment..Why are the two so intrinsically linked in your mind? If a man isn't calling a woman 10 times for the day does that mean he does not care? If a woman isn't calling a man 10 times for the day does that mean she doesn't care? How can I make assumptions about what is appropriate in people's relationships? People do what they need to do and what makes them happy. From your scenario, the person who does not appear to be happy is the woman. Why is that? I never disputed that she is cautious, protective, involved or responsible or that she had no right to be..What I said was she does not seem to be secure in her relationship...An assessment that you have proven with the remaining fractions of your story.

But I can see that because my stream of thinking didn't fit in with yours it's thrown your idea for your thread off...I'm more focused on woman empowerment than man vilification..

. ..You're so funny Colossus...usually it's women who accuse other women of being too hard on a woman But then why didn't you devote as many sentences describing the man's behaviour? Yet you're accusing me of being biased. You knew that many women would have been distracted by a) the fact that the best friend was female..b) .she sounded like she had just woken up when the woman called....and c) the woman heard the man in the background..but I wasn't..You didn't even realise that you were the one who threw a spanner into your own story...You started by stating it was a normal day....if it was...why was there a need to be so concerned so soon into it? Remember I have always maintained that it was perfectly natural to be worried by the end of the day when she called his house and didn't get him. Being concerned because he didn't get back while at work does not add up. You call someone a few times at work and don't get them...you're so concerned yet you didn't leave any message? You're his girl, you're valued enough to have the cell number, 2 office numbers, the home number and the best friend's number...but you didn't leave a message because you just don't like leaving messages? Huh? Yes she may have been concerned alright..but his safety and well-being wasn't what she was concerned about.

Hmmm...disturbing, neurotic, disdain, project elements...sounds like you have an interest in Psychology Col...Maybe you should consider taking a course.

Finally...Thank you!

Like I mentioned earlier I never disagreed with what your overall point was...I was just challenging you to break it down for all to see. I appreciate ur dedication.

Jinjer · 11-08-2009, 12:27 PM

Colossus: To thine own self be true. As someone who has a lot of really good male friends, when that person becomes involved with someone i KNOW that there would be limitations placed on our friendship. If I used to call him at two and three in the morning just because I have shit on my mind and need someone to talk to...I know that convo will have to wait until later on because I have to respect or rather...that is the respect I would show to her and their relationship.

I honestly believe that you CAN be a true friend and respect your SO...key secret to that is communication...to all parties involved. Lieing to your SO (in that situation) is NOT being true to her and basically you've made your 'friendship' out to be much more than she thought it was if you have to LIE about being there for your friend (see how allyuhman does call shit pon allyuh self?) IF the SO knows that yes, this is your friend and yes, you are close and YES there is nothing BUT the friendship and you do everything in your power to assuage any dounbts that she may have...I really don't see the problem.

Colossus · 11-08-2009, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by Jinjer

Colossus: To thine own self be true. As someone who has a lot of really good male friends, when that person becomes involved with someone i KNOW that there would be limitations placed on our friendship. If I used to call him at two and three in the morning just because I have shit on my mind and need someone to talk to...I know that convo will have to wait until later on because I have to respect or rather...that is the respect I would show to her and their relationship.

I honestly believe that you CAN be a true friend and respect your SO...key secret to that is communication...to all parties involved. Lieing to your SO (in that situation) is NOT being true to her and basically you've made your 'friendship' out to be much more than she thought it was if you have to LIE about being there for your friend (see how allyuhman does call shit pon allyuh self?) IF the SO knows that yes, this is your friend and yes, you are close and YES there is nothing BUT the friendship and you do everything in your power to assuage any dounbts that she may have...I really don't see the problem.

I hear ur point, loud and clear...

I have more to say, but not really in the mood at this time. be back another time.

11-07-2009, 12:16 PM	#79 (permalink)
Nica Your Royal Sexiness Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Blue Bayou Posts: 28,974 Credits: 127,859	I absolutley see no insecurity in the woman in this scenario. I see genuine concern. The story changes when the best friend is called and both best friend and SO gets caught in a lie. However if people have a routine and something changes, I think it's normal to be concerned. I'm not saying blow up his phone and everybody else's, that he knows but be concerned nonetheless. Legallay a person is not considered "missing" until 24 hours have elapsed however, it's been seen too many times when shit happens in a short space of time and by the time 24hrs comes around it's too late. __________________ www.youravon.com/vblackmoore

11-08-2009, 08:27 AM	#82 (permalink)
Appleton 100% Overproof Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Right Here Posts: 1,560 Credits: 26,314	As much as your point is clear, your still trying to judge what is appropriate and not appropriate actions with in a relationship. That's should be left up to the couple...You can't place general rules on people's relationships. They have to find out what works best for them as a couple. Col..just because my view on the 'scenario' doesn't coincide with yours doesn't mean I'm judging what's appropriate in a relationship. Maybe next time if you want a holistic answer for your scenario you should present the case in it's entirety rather than presenting a story in phases based on what people's responses are to the first act She asked the switchboard operator, if he was in his office. The question was to get an idea of what might be going on that he wasn't available initially. If the operator said, he's is in the office than perhaps he is just busy or preoccupied...and she could have left it at that. If the operator said, No he's not there. Than she knows he out doing something...she could try the mobile...If no response. she could still fall back, because she can think he might just be busy. Again he's at work..why would anything be going on? Why would this be cause for 'concern' ? No where in any passages I said, she left messages...i stated she kept getting the voicemail straight. I did that purposely because there are an abundant amount of people that don't want/like/feel to leave messages. They rather continue to call you until they reach you. Congratulations..what does this prove exactly? So she doesn't like leaving messages..this is her man..did it occur to her that if she left a message he might try to get back to her 'sooner'..Not wanting to leave a message while being 'concerned' doesn't make sense..But I guess you didn't think about it that way huh? I agree with all those notions...But, I think you are being hard(or perhaps bias) on the female character. Probably, cuz you have an disdain for women who act extreme and expect their relationships grow. Now I find this truly interesting. You present a story in fractions..I've only commented on the story based on the information you have doled out and now I'm being accused of being disdainful...Hmmm..doesn't every woman in a relationship want their relationship to grow? You took great pains to describe the woman's behaviour yet you're surprised that my opinion of the scenario wasn't based on the fact that the friend was female or that the friend covered for the man..Half-way through the thread you throw in the rest of the story about the man being a jerk... ...again a tactic to determine whether or not people's perceptions of events change due to more or specific types of information. Because I wasn't focussed on the extraneous variables, my perception didn't change because I was talking about the woman and what she was hoping to have in her relationship versus what she got. She has a right to be happy and have peace of mind..if she's not getting it from this man she needs to cut her losses and find a man who is committed to giving her his all. Simple. That's a good question...cause she is well invested. It makes her cautious, protective, involved, responsible. As we know Good/True intentions can always backfire on you...and make you look like and extreme idiot. As, you stated she should have made not getting a hold of him...such a Big deal. And, because of that...her urgency brought her to a place, where she had to deal with way more than she bargained for. That's why a lot of people, move and take their SO' lightly...because of the things they might see or learn that could hurt and devastate them. Hence, "I don't want to know if I gettiin Horned" outlook. Col..again..you are interpreting a lack of calling as an indicator of emotional investment..Why are the two so intrinsically linked in your mind? If a man isn't calling a woman 10 times for the day does that mean he does not care? If a woman isn't calling a man 10 times for the day does that mean she doesn't care? How can I make assumptions about what is appropriate in people's relationships? People do what they need to do and what makes them happy. From your scenario, the person who does not appear to be happy is the woman. Why is that? I never disputed that she is cautious, protective, involved or responsible or that she had no right to be..What I said was she does not seem to be secure in her relationship...An assessment that you have proven with the remaining fractions of your story. But I can see that because my stream of thinking didn't fit in with yours it's thrown your idea for your thread off...I'm more focused on woman empowerment than man vilification.. . ..You're so funny Colossus...usually it's women who accuse other women of being too hard on a woman But then why didn't you devote as many sentences describing the man's behaviour? Yet you're accusing me of being biased. You knew that many women would have been distracted by a) the fact that the best friend was female..b) .she sounded like she had just woken up when the woman called....and c) the woman heard the man in the background..but I wasn't..You didn't even realise that you were the one who threw a spanner into your own story...You started by stating it was a normal day....if it was...why was there a need to be so concerned so soon into it? Remember I have always maintained that it was perfectly natural to be worried by the end of the day when she called his house and didn't get him. Being concerned because he didn't get back while at work does not add up. You call someone a few times at work and don't get them...you're so concerned yet you didn't leave any message? You're his girl, you're valued enough to have the cell number, 2 office numbers, the home number and the best friend's number...but you didn't leave a message because you just don't like leaving messages? Huh? Yes she may have been concerned alright..but his safety and well-being wasn't what she was concerned about. Hmmm...disturbing, neurotic, disdain, project elements...sounds like you have an interest in Psychology Col...Maybe you should consider taking a course. __________________ "We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality"... .Albert Einstein

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11-08-2009, 09:24 AM	#83 (permalink)
Jinjer Will work for Sushi Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nohpetsville Posts: 10,425 Credits: 3,680	oh gosh Appleton

11-08-2009, 12:27 PM	#85 (permalink)
Jinjer Will work for Sushi Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nohpetsville Posts: 10,425 Credits: 3,680	Colossus: To thine own self be true. As someone who has a lot of really good male friends, when that person becomes involved with someone i KNOW that there would be limitations placed on our friendship. If I used to call him at two and three in the morning just because I have shit on my mind and need someone to talk to...I know that convo will have to wait until later on because I have to respect or rather...that is the respect I would show to her and their relationship. I honestly believe that you CAN be a true friend and respect your SO...key secret to that is communication...to all parties involved. Lieing to your SO (in that situation) is NOT being true to her and basically you've made your 'friendship' out to be much more than she thought it was if you have to LIE about being there for your friend (see how allyuhman does call shit pon allyuh self?) IF the SO knows that yes, this is your friend and yes, you are close and YES there is nothing BUT the friendship and you do everything in your power to assuage any dounbts that she may have...I really don't see the problem.