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That's what you're assuming..I didn't jump at a conclusion I read every sentence and action you typed very carefully...From the very first time you typed that she called his direct line and then called the switchboard immediately afterward...what if he was in the bathroom? what if he had stepped into the cafeteria for a snack? I never disputed people's patterns but there is a simple rational explanation for many things. It was the girl's overall behaviour that led me to make a conclusion.

Originally Posted by Colossus example.... for a person, to find such a simple thing as man not picking up his direct line.....he had to be someone who always picks his line, and when he steps out he switches to his mobile. There's a History/pattern there...same way as if a man spends money in everywere him and that woman goes. why would it be a surprise, if when they get commited , that she expects the same trement she is accustom to.

You are proving my point..It's the predictability of the relationship that gives her security. Yet clearly he's not as predictable as she thinks as he didn't even go into work and she didn't know about it.

Originally Posted by Colossus If a woman, calls a man b4 she goes to work, and when she is coming home and even on her lunch break...is it a shocker that he expects to hear from her during those time frames?

Again..this isn't the heart of my discussion..everyone has a pattern in their relationship..it's what happens to us when we don't know what cards are being dealt that reveals alot...The mere fact that despite being off work all day at no point he thought that maintaining the routine was incremental to validating his relationship. he was just doing what was needed. She was the only idiot (like so many women) who was sitting by the phone waiting for him to call...I'm sure he saw her missed calls too and he doesn't appear to be as shaken as she is by his '1 day' absence from the relationship.

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"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality"... .Albert Einstein

Makka i ent mean tuh quote you eh...is the quote you did of Col thread ah answering

Mr. Blue....that 'I eh go in today...Sheryl had problems blah blah blah"

forget all the explanations...he lied. full stop and that to me is worse than anything else he could have done. As his woman he should have been able to come to me and say...babes..this is the scene...

if he can't be that honest then we don't need to be in that relationship

no..honestly...does he have to share what's going on? "Babe....Sheryl has a problem and needs a someone to talk to" would have sufficed. If his women knows that him and Sheryl are friends and that they are more or less close what's the issue unless Sheryl is or has been a problem in the past?

So, what was he gonna say to u..."Babes, Sheryl my best friend & Ex'...have a secret appointment on Tuesday. Thanks for understanding"

and you're not going to want to know what this appointment is about?








Well, think about it again....

Your man is taking a day of from work to go sit up and be a shoulder to cry on to another woman, that is not his family? I thought those things were reserved for you, his SO'. But i guess ur no special that his female friends.

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I got harem full of Hoes'. Its my Mystique that's got dem tearing off my Clothes....I'm so Sincere.

Maybe, her behavior is disturbing...because she is way to involved in relationship compared to most. this why many people fear truly loving a person, or exposing their feelings. They are going to come off looking like an idiot. Maybe I'm wrong, for saying this...but I think anybody who can say they were truly in love, can say they have went the extra mile. Whether it was in a positive or negative way is usually judge after the action.

Col..you keep using words like neurotic and disturbing to describe her behaviour ..Why? I didn't say any of those things. If you're secure and happy in your relationship you don't need to call your partner so many times during the day or be so phased by it when you haven't established contact. This is not about taking the plunge or investing feelings or going the extra mile..This is how a woman who is unsure of herself in a relationship reacts. Why was she so quick to assume something was wrong with him just because she called a few times during the day and didn't hear from him? If you don't live with someone it is natural that you may not see/talk to them everyday...why is she so bothered by that? if her first call to his office was at 10am and she called his 'friend' at 8pm..That's 10 hours...Not seeing/hearing from your partner for 10 hours does not warrant you calling three different locations to 'find' him.

But, she's no exception...a great deal of people do. If we didn't have that security of some kind of predictability we wouldn't commit in the first plce...but hear ur point, clearly.


Maybe this is why a great deal of people have issues in their relationships? Because if the other half isn't following the 'script' everything goes off kilter? what kind of relationship is that? If you depend on hearing from your partner in order to feel confident that all is well in your relationship something is wrong. There are many women out there who would have been so busy with things they've got to do..it would not occur to them that they haven't spoken to their SO all day until late after things settled. Similarly, if you're the type of man who starts to fret after 3 unanswered calls then..........

Well, no...there was no miss calls if your phone was turned off...that's why it was going to straight to voicemail. plus, he did explain why he totally shut her out, the whole day. 1)he's not a good liar. 2) he wanted to just go thru the day, uninterrupted.

Lol..Col..from the beginning..my response was not about the guy or the technicality of the situation..It was about the woman's reactions/behaviour...The fact that you've added more details to the story doesn't change that. It just confirms why she is insecure. She treats him like a priority but he treats her as an option. Busy people switch their phones off all the time...sometimes you just need a breather...Why didn't this occur to her? Or maybe it did?...that could have been why she was calling so much...

If she only had his cell phone number she would have had to wait until he called her wouldn't she? women like these are agents of their own unhappiness.

__________________
"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality"... .Albert Einstein

lol

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Look how dis focka trap Appleton

Apps why yuh doin it to yuhself? lol

lol...I think Col is the woman in the story

__________________
"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality"... .Albert Einstein

__________________
I got harem full of Hoes'. Its my Mystique that's got dem tearing off my Clothes....I'm so Sincere.

sheryl is his friend not the SO friend, most friends would lie for another...

if it was you, would you want yout BF telling his SO your business

huh? I'm supposed to be suspicious about that if I know they're close friends???? Depending on the depth of the friendship wouldn't that be normal?

Lol...I know you're looking for entertainment..But I'm taking a break from work for a few so I'll indulge...

Legitimate concern is manifested differently..If you think about it from a legal standpoint..an adult isn't technically considered 'missing' until 24 hours..From your scenario..it is logical that she would be concerned by the evening if it is their routine to talk to each other throughout the day and they haven't. It's still not serious enough grounds to call a third party especially given the fact that they don't live together..

I haven't made any generalisations. My opinion was based on the scenario presented and the girl's reaction to it..Someone could react the same way under different circumstances so the same conclusions won't necessarily be made. The direct line exists so that people don't have to go through switch boards No?..If you called someone's direct line and didn't get them why would you think you would have gotten them through the switchboard? She left messages...then why keep calling? Isn't the whole point of messages is so that the other person can call you back when they've become available?

Let's switch genders for a minute: If a man was calling a female like this what conclusions would we draw? Nothing is wrong with talking to your partner several times for the day but calling someone repeatedly after you've left messages is a control tactic. It assures one that the person is where they say they'll be. Again nothing is wrong with making your partner a priority but an underlying factor in her need to be calling him so much is because she sensed she isn't a priority to him...ie if she was he would be available to take her call. There would be no anxiety if she didn't feel otherwise

Remember..women buy into this whole ' if he's not calling he doesn't care mentality'..and unfortunately many women carry this belief throughout their marriages..Women complain most about men not calling, how frequently they are calling and what is being said when they call..How many men you hear complain that their woman is not calling them enough?..Her calling so many times does not spell calm and assured woman. Particularly given the fact that they don't live together. No one is so predictable that their partner knows exactly where they are every minute of each day..

My perception of her behaviour is independent of the guy though Col....She's not being rational. Why was it so hard for her to wait until he got back to her?

__________________
"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality"... .Albert Einstein

Hmmmm sad world when ppl endorsing that SO's tell their friends business to their bf/gf.

lol what if ppl go thru 3 SO's in a year dais a whole setta random ppl knowing your friend business.

Learn to keep confidences your friend don't want to worry everytime they tell you something it becomes dinner convo between you and your SO.

steups

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