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Thread: The Rules.....This time by Men.

  1. #1
    ~ A R I E S ~ 3.31.12 TOP DOG's Avatar TOP DOG is offline
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    Lightbulb The Rules.....This time by Men.

    The Rules.....This time by Men.


    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now

    here are the rules from the male side. These are the rules! Please

    note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.

    If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't

    hear us ####################ing about you leaving it down.


    1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not

    quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!


    1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.


    1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.

    One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always

    cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.


    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


    1. Crying is blackmail.


    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!

    Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!


    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.

    Remind us frequently beforehand.


    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any

    good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?


    1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem.

    See a doctor.


    1. Check your oil! Please.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments

    become null and void after 7 days.


    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.


    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,

    we meant the other one.


    1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.


    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already

    know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.


    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

    Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.


    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,

    not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof

    of how little we care about you.


    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.

    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.


    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.


    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics

    as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.


    1. You have enough clothes.


    1. You have too many shoes.


    1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where

    it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)


    1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.


    1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.


    1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

    1. Stop Letting Your Very unactractive Friend get in our business. (just added)


    1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight,

    but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
    Last edited by TOP DOG; 01-23-2003 at 12:47 PM.

  2. #2
    Dragon
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    Love the rules

  3. #3
    Registered User Ray Davis's Avatar Ray Davis is offline
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    It's about time someone told dem ladies the truth...........

    Good work Top Dog

  4. #4
    MLO, CTA 4 LIFE Kamasutra's Avatar Kamasutra is offline
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    T.D boi thanks for de offical rules
    www.VibesFromVenus.com

  5. #5
    daweh point-man's Avatar point-man is offline
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    lol awoahhhhhhhhhhh

  6. #6
    ThE pOsT JaCkInG aSsAsSiN Notorious's Avatar Notorious is offline
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    Here is another one Top Dog- Stop Letting Your Very unactractive Friend get in our business.

  7. #7
    ~ A R I E S ~ 3.31.12 TOP DOG's Avatar TOP DOG is offline
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    Originally posted by Notorious
    Here is another one Top Dog- 1. Stop Letting Your Very unactractive Friend get in our business.
    I like that one........................it will be added

  8. #8
    Registered User pennywhine's Avatar pennywhine is offline
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    *with a tear in meh eye* Top Dog for president..

  9. #9
    Imix Official Prima Donna Prinzez Diva's Avatar Prinzez Diva is offline
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    Sorry to intrude in this male bonding but I must attempt that I agree with some of these rules especially the toilet seat, the Victoria Secret/soap opera and the subtle hints rules.

    Okay, I am done agreeing with the men...I am gone before the women buff meh

  10. #10
    ~ A R I E S ~ 3.31.12 TOP DOG's Avatar TOP DOG is offline
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    Originally posted by pennywhine
    *with a tear in meh eye* Top Dog for president..
    Thank You! Thank You!

  11. #11
    The Prophet Kingmidas's Avatar Kingmidas is offline
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    iz about time someone put dem ladies in dey place.....all hail Top Dog.... Lion of Imix.

  12. #12
    Registered User 1Temptress is offline
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    Originally posted by Kingmidas
    iz about time someone put dem ladies in dey place.....all hail Top Dog.... Lion of Imix.
    What??? Never....

  13. #13
    Imix Official Prima Donna Prinzez Diva's Avatar Prinzez Diva is offline
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    Originally posted by Kingmidas
    iz about time someone put dem ladies in dey place.....all hail Top Dog.... Lion of Imix.
    See I was being nice...now allyuh start trouble with the women them....it is on

  14. #14
    ~ A R I E S ~ 3.31.12 TOP DOG's Avatar TOP DOG is offline
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    Originally posted by Trini Prinzez
    See I was being nice...now allyuh start trouble with the women them....it is on
    Oh Lawd here we go..................ya just say u agree...............ya tryin to play both sides

  15. #15
    Registered User S.P.I.C.E Ladie's Avatar S.P.I.C.E Ladie is offline
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    Re: stupid rules!

    Lol!!

    ok, ok so I have to admit those rules had me cracking up, and I would agree with 1 or 2 but come on Top Dog, with this hair thing what about a Halle Berry type style? Kind of short and layered with flips in the back. I've been contemplating cutting my hair for the new year to make a change. Now you damn men having me re-thinking my plans :

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