Summer’s almost here, ladies! Are you ready? And more importantly, is your vagina ready? If it’s not, you better get your hands on the Cuchini - a brand new pad that “eliminates camel toe.”
(Yes, this is a real product with a real website. Thankfully, the entire site is written in the nasty Comic Sans font for added comedic effect. )
The CUCHINI? Couldn’t they come up with a better name? It sounds like a really bad lesbian magician’s stage name… or something a lonely old bearded man would pay to get in the back seat of his car (”come on baby, how much for THE CUCHINI?”)
Anyway, here’s the thing: of course it eliminates camel toe! You’re shoving a BICYCLE SEAT down your underwear. Look at the size of that thing! Forget a camel toe. The Cuchini could easily hide your eccentric neighbor’s Mini Cooper.
Oh, and that’s not all. The website gets really gross, and brags that “the Cuchini keeps undergarments clean.” Thanks, Cuchini people, but I could have gone to my grave without that visualization. Look, ladies. If you need a CUCHINI to keep your undergarment clean, a cameltoe is the least of your problems.
Over and out