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Thread: The Lovers Rocque: Married Couple Shade

  1. #1
    Black Madonna
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    The Lovers Rocque: Married Couple Shade

    This is so effing funny...
    Mr. Rocque and I noticed that our nuptials have inspired most of our single friends. When they saw us take the leap, they asked tons of questions about what the married life was like. Our response was usually a coy, “It’s really good.” After all, it’s supposed to be really good in the early stages. However, I’ve been holding back some of the real tea. That being said, I dedicate this post to two of my best friends who will be getting married next year because now I can reveal just what they have to look forward to. Marital bliss is a blessing but there is a deliciously evil side—couples can be total jerks toward singles...and we enjoy it. Here are three shady behaviors that most married couples are guilty of, but don’t feel bad about.
    Exhibiting Cult-like Behavior- Once you’re married, your friends start to hang out without you. Usually, they assume that you just want to be home with your significant other 24/7 because you couldn’t possibly want to hang out, especially when you’ve found what a lot of people tend to go out for. Who needs individuality and fun, right? This is only the beginning of the inadvertent divide that starts to form between couples and singles and what happens is that couples, out of defense, begin to seek other married couples to be friends with so that we can do married stuff and make fun of singles for being alone.
    Gloat About no Longer Being Single- I was only half-joking with that last bit. We don’t make fun of singles to be mean, we really can’t help it because our thought processes got altered by the single snatchers that abducted us. As a result, we no longer understand the culture of dating and lean more toward interior decorating. My biggest source of drama right now is choosing the right color scheme for the kitchen and making sure that the feng shui in our new apartment is right. I digress. The last time I chatted with two of my single girlfriends, and the time before that, and the time before that, they shared man drama. I nodded and tried to mask the bemused expression on my face with sympathy and offered advice when asked. Usually, the conversation goes something about the latest asshole who did whatever it is that assholes do and then I get the “You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with this anymore,” speech. I don’t disagree but I play modest in front of my friends then I go home and share the ordeal with the hubby and we both shake our heads in disdain at what’s out there and thank our lucky stars that we’re happily together. Gloating also occurs when we’re walking down the street or at various events that allow us to observe singles in action or lack-thereof—considering that a lot of folks these days would rather tweet and caress their mobile devices while in the middle of any given event instead of actually interacting with other human beings.
    Gossip Girls and Guys- No secret is safe. I hate to admit it and I’ll probably get some flack for being so transparent but couples gossip to each other about everything. Chances are we hear something from one of our friends or even relatives and go right back to our spouse and share this information because we know they won’t spill the beans elsewhere and because it’s also amusing. Next time you think you may have gotten a side eye or a strange look from your friend’s significant other, you probably did because couples are shady.
    Have you participated in jerkish activity with your spouse? Come clean and repent.

  2. #2
    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    How bout' you....you have those moments with your Spouse?
    Girly boy why do you get such a kick out of dissing women? - Namey Namey

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  3. #3
    Taj
    Loyalty to Loyalty Taj's Avatar Taj is offline
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    Gossip Girls and Guys- No secret is safe. I hate to admit it and I’ll probably get some flack for being so transparent but couples gossip to each other about everything. Chances are we hear something from one of our friends or even relatives and go right back to our spouse and share this information because we know they won’t spill the beans elsewhere and because it’s also amusing. Next time you think you may have gotten a side eye or a strange look from your friend’s significant other, you probably did because couples are shady.
    this last one is sometimes is why i choose to keep some info to myself... I know the so hears everything
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

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    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    They only gloat if ur a "sad single"...if ur a vibrant, sexy, happy single...u get side eyed alllllllllll night... from the wife and from the husband ...i'd rather be the sexy single

  5. #5
    Registered User BacchanalDiva's Avatar BacchanalDiva is offline
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    Guilty as charged esp when it come to girlfriends who it seems every time you speak to them, all they want talk about is men...the man they met and who keep texting them and they're all excited..then a few days later they slept w/ them and the sex was awful or he was a jerk after/during...then the drama and the never ending story unfolds..its like they have nothing to talk about but men and 1/2 the time you end up finding some excuse to cut the convo short...my favorite one being "I have to go pick up the Princess" even tho its nowhere near time to get her and of course, I share all that when he comes home and sometimes he's like "your phone is ringing" and i'm like "oh its just "pam", I don't feel like hearing her latest man drama"...unless the drama at the moment is particularly juicy or funny then I tell him the whole story.
    Mrs. Yankee Doodle likes this.
    "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses." -Plato

    "god is the deification of a culture."
    -Dr Yosef ben-Jochannan

  6. #6
    Get your passport & come ! EloquenceInc is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Madonna View Post
    This is so effing funny... Have you participated in jerkish activity with your spouse? Come clean and repent.
    Yes.

    Except...I was married young...so there was no "they don't invite us out because"...his friends or mine wanted to go clubbing, we both went clubbing... no left out-ness there, we did the same stuff other people our age did...just not with random negroes. Movies or I'm invited out with girls, same deal. (We also went out separately of course).

    I wasn't really hearing a lot of female drama then, cause either girls were too busy having fun, or they had a man (the ones I knew), plus I just wasn't tight with no whole bunch of girls to be in the mix up and blender of their lives like that...it's NOW drama is being heard from the ones who have never been married and their biological clock is ticking louder...

    I can't really repent though, because you can tell single life is pretty unsatisfying for most people, male and female, even when they try to play like the russian roulette bed routine is SO empowering and SO fun, and even the rise of the social network proves people still want a connection with PEOPLE, but something is making it harder for people in America to actually do it...single life is fine for the really young but to me there is no significant social, mental, or economic advantage for any full grown warm-blooded animal to not have their mate.
    Who has eyes to see, let them see...

  7. #7
    Black Madonna
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brownilus View Post
    Yes.

    Except...I was married young...so there was no "they don't invite us out because"...his friends or mine wanted to go clubbing, we both went clubbing... no left out-ness there, we did the same stuff other people our age did...just not with random negroes. Movies or I'm invited out with girls, same deal. (We also went out separately of course).

    I wasn't really hearing a lot of female drama then, cause either girls were too busy having fun, or they had a man (the ones I knew), plus I just wasn't tight with no whole bunch of girls to be in the mix up and blender of their lives like that...it's NOW drama is being heard from the ones who have never been married and their biological clock is ticking louder...

    I can't really repent though, because you can tell single life is pretty unsatisfying for most people, male and female, even when they try to play like the russian roulette bed routine is SO empowering and SO fun, and even the rise of the social network proves people still want a connection with PEOPLE, but something is making it harder for people in America to actually do it...single life is fine for the really young but to me there is no significant social, mental, or economic advantage for any full grown warm-blooded animal to not have their mate.
    agreed

  8. #8
    Get your passport & come ! EloquenceInc is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brownilus View Post
    Yes.

    Except...I was married young...so there was no "they don't invite us out because"...his friends or mine wanted to go clubbing, we both went clubbing... no left out-ness there, we did the same stuff other people our age did...just not with random negroes. Movies or I'm invited out with girls, same deal. (We also went out separately of course).

    I wasn't really hearing a lot of female drama then, cause either girls were too busy having fun, or they had a man (the ones I knew), plus I just wasn't tight with no whole bunch of girls to be in the mix up and blender of their lives like that...it's NOW drama is being heard from the ones who have never been married and their biological clock is ticking louder...

    I can't really repent though, because you can tell single life is pretty unsatisfying for most people, male and female, even when they try to play like the russian roulette bed routine is SO empowering and SO fun, and even the rise of the social network proves people still want a connection with PEOPLE, but something is making it harder for people in America to actually do it...single life is fine for the really young but to me there is no significant social, mental, or economic advantage for any full grown warm-blooded animal to not have their mate.
    Quote Originally Posted by Black Madonna View Post
    agreed
    *falls off chair in shock*

    No I'm kidding there's always stuff we agree on and don't.
    Who has eyes to see, let them see...

  9. #9
    Get your passport & come ! EloquenceInc is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by BacchanalDiva View Post
    Guilty as charged esp when it come to girlfriends who it seems every time you speak to them, all they want talk about is men...the man they met and who keep texting them and they're all excited..then a few days later they slept w/ them and the sex was awful or he was a jerk after/during...then the drama and the never ending story unfolds..its like they have nothing to talk about but men and 1/2 the time you end up finding some excuse to cut the convo short...my favorite one being "I have to go pick up the Princess" even tho its nowhere near time to get her and of course, I share all that when he comes home and sometimes he's like "your phone is ringing" and i'm like "oh its just "pam", I don't feel like hearing her latest man drama"...unless the drama at the moment is particularly juicy or funny then I tell him the whole story.
    I did this when not married, when i was with an ex...and I swear the dyam gyal sounded a lot happier when she heard i had broken up with him. She actually kept checking back to see if i had gotten back with him cause she remembered how happy i looked in pictures with him, and it's like she was fully expecting to hear more drama. She and a next girl that i literally stopped being friends with cause she was starting to scare me and seemed like the man was abusing her or something i wasn't sure but she acted like i was a new man and stalked my phone... they both said how happy i sounded all the time and they were surprised it was over... but I can't deal with the constant negativity and the one that had sounded happy about my end is the same one that made a comment years ago that sounded rude bout how i have kids and keep getting men and she have degree (i hadn't graduated yet) and no kids and can't even get a date. My chest gets tight when people call me and i know it's going to be a bunch of negative vibes and drama and asking me for advice when all I want to do is curl up with my man and watch the 300 or f. his brains out or watch paint dry or something MORE ENJOYABLE than the same man problems as 5 years ago, from 1,000 miles away. I can't take the stress, talk about man sometimes, then some other stuff sometimes, and if there isn't enough positive then don't even mention the topic until there is something positive to say about it, give it a rest sometimes.

    She try throw things in my face too and it reminded me why I did not have no best friend situation in college, just girls i was friends with, and the man i was in a relationship or marriage with usually became my best friend...women are just waiting to see your thing fall. My fault though for forgetting the cardinal rule an old Bajan couple told me...whether is sugar or salt in your house when you open that front door they should only know sugar. I know stuff about girls' lives but I never throw it in their face like i see some will try do under quiet to another female...

    I finally asked that first one one time what does she DO outside of the whole attempt at dating cause I never hear of her doing anything that does not involve trying to find a man...which makes me wonder what does she talk about then when she goes on the date? My social calendar not full or anything but come on, I have something that I like doing besides sitting around with a bunch of other women all day and guys find that interesting. The only thing I heard her mention was some group that is women only and I can't tell you all now what exactly the purpose of the group is, what they DO. They were supposedly going to plan a trip to Jamaica that she wanted me to handle and this group of grown women who supposedly working backed out after hearing that flights alone are no less than $500 or so dollars...and they somehow expected that was going to be the cost of the whole trip, not just airfare. smh. She needs to DO stuff. Let me be single and childless and making the kind of salary she is making...man problem what? I'd be gone every holiday, car in one side of my garage and MY BIKE in the other side...is like she can't think of what to do for fun...I'm starting to get the feeling the whole heap of money she makes might be tied up in debt which would be amazing to me as there is no reason for it...cause she should be living la vida loca, especially, as she so rudely pointed out, she does NOT have the kids in the history like moi.

    She said it's fine for me to talk cause I already have my kids and already been married, she has yet to do either and she's already past 30... I said fine you right, so it hard for me to see what to tell you aside from what's already been said.

    And that's the next thing, people know you already managed what they still trying to do and it getting late in the game for them to get called off the bench so to speak, you run the risk of always sounding A WAYS if you either not commiserating enough, or not giving them THE magic answer that fixes that TOMORROW...
    Who has eyes to see, let them see...

  10. #10
    Get your passport & come ! EloquenceInc is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triniminx View Post
    They only gloat if ur a "sad single"...if ur a vibrant, sexy, happy single...u get side eyed alllllllllll night... from the wife and from the husband ...i'd rather be the sexy single
    So when you were married that's how you felt too?

    I mean sometimes you sound a ways. Like your husband could easily get heart attack with you...
    Who has eyes to see, let them see...

  11. #11
    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    I guess when ur shacking up, u can't really answer my question...
    Girly boy why do you get such a kick out of dissing women? - Namey Namey

    You don't act proper, you just act angry. You act like a angry racist white new york cop.-Namey Namey


    Everyone knows MÉCHANT LOUP is a jackass, but a pedophile? - Namey Namey

    MÉCHANT LOUP like women? The only thing MÉCHANT LOUP like more than hearing that a blackman was gunned down by cops, is a hairy man ass. - Namey Namey


    MÉCHANT LOUP a battyman. - Namey Namey

  12. #12
    Registered User BacchanalDiva's Avatar BacchanalDiva is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brownilus View Post
    I did this when not married, when i was with an ex...and I swear the dyam gyal sounded a lot happier when she heard i had broken up with him. She actually kept checking back to see if i had gotten back with him cause she remembered how happy i looked in pictures with him, and it's like she was fully expecting to hear more drama. She and a next girl that i literally stopped being friends with cause she was starting to scare me and seemed like the man was abusing her or something i wasn't sure but she acted like i was a new man and stalked my phone... they both said how happy i sounded all the time and they were surprised it was over... but I can't deal with the constant negativity and the one that had sounded happy about my end is the same one that made a comment years ago that sounded rude bout how i have kids and keep getting men and she have degree (i hadn't graduated yet) and no kids and can't even get a date. My chest gets tight when people call me and i know it's going to be a bunch of negative vibes and drama and asking me for advice when all I want to do is curl up with my man and watch the 300 or f. his brains out or watch paint dry or something MORE ENJOYABLE than the same man problems as 5 years ago, from 1,000 miles away. I can't take the stress, talk about man sometimes, then some other stuff sometimes, and if there isn't enough positive then don't even mention the topic until there is something positive to say about it, give it a rest sometimes.

    She try throw things in my face too and it reminded me why I did not have no best friend situation in college, just girls i was friends with, and the man i was in a relationship or marriage with usually became my best friend...women are just waiting to see your thing fall. My fault though for forgetting the cardinal rule an old Bajan couple told me...whether is sugar or salt in your house when you open that front door they should only know sugar. I know stuff about girls' lives but I never throw it in their face like i see some will try do under quiet to another female...

    I finally asked that first one one time what does she DO outside of the whole attempt at dating cause I never hear of her doing anything that does not involve trying to find a man...which makes me wonder what does she talk about then when she goes on the date? My social calendar not full or anything but come on, I have something that I like doing besides sitting around with a bunch of other women all day and guys find that interesting. The only thing I heard her mention was some group that is women only and I can't tell you all now what exactly the purpose of the group is, what they DO. They were supposedly going to plan a trip to Jamaica that she wanted me to handle and this group of grown women who supposedly working backed out after hearing that flights alone are no less than $500 or so dollars...and they somehow expected that was going to be the cost of the whole trip, not just airfare. smh. She needs to DO stuff. Let me be single and childless and making the kind of salary she is making...man problem what? I'd be gone every holiday, car in one side of my garage and MY BIKE in the other side...is like she can't think of what to do for fun...I'm starting to get the feeling the whole heap of money she makes might be tied up in debt which would be amazing to me as there is no reason for it...cause she should be living la vida loca, especially, as she so rudely pointed out, she does NOT have the kids in the history like moi.

    She said it's fine for me to talk cause I already have my kids and already been married, she has yet to do either and she's already past 30... I said fine you right, so it hard for me to see what to tell you aside from what's already been said.

    And that's the next thing, people know you already managed what they still trying to do and it getting late in the game for them to get called off the bench so to speak, you run the risk of always sounding A WAYS if you either not commiserating enough, or not giving them THE magic answer that fixes that TOMORROW...
    That Bajan couple smart; I live by that. Not even amongst my married friends do I share any marital issues beyond stuff that might mildly annoy me but is beyond trivial and he knows and respects that so I don't have to worry about him sharing stuff w/ John who will go home and tell his wife Jane who is also my friend. I know what you mean tho, to me it feels like everyone in the crew grew up but many of those who remained single kinda stuck in a time warp... It's weird but even the ones that got married but ended up single again permanently moved beyond the drama. When a person like me who admittedly loves gossip and other ppl biz says they tired of hearing it you know things bad. Think the problem also is that I'm a person who when things in my life troubling and stressing, I retreat and become real scarce; I don't bother ppl w/ negativity, if you hear from me I'm in a good mood and wrong or right, that's have little patience for every time I talk to you I have to hear bout problems. Worse yet when I feel the problems are simple, your fault or not actually problems but I have to fix my face to look and sound sympathetic.
    "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses." -Plato

    "god is the deification of a culture."
    -Dr Yosef ben-Jochannan

  13. #13
    Get your passport & come ! EloquenceInc is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by BacchanalDiva View Post
    That Bajan couple smart; I live by that. Not even amongst my married friends do I share any marital issues beyond stuff that might mildly annoy me but is beyond trivial and he knows and respects that so I don't have to worry about him sharing stuff w/ John who will go home and tell his wife Jane who is also my friend. I know what you mean tho, to me it feels like everyone in the crew grew up but many of those who remained single kinda stuck in a time warp... It's weird but even the ones that got married but ended up single again permanently moved beyond the drama. When a person like me who admittedly loves gossip and other ppl biz says they tired of hearing it you know things bad. Think the problem also is that I'm a person who when things in my life troubling and stressing, I retreat and become real scarce; I don't bother ppl w/ negativity, if you hear from me I'm in a good mood and wrong or right, that's have little patience for every time I talk to you I have to hear bout problems. Worse yet when I feel the problems are simple, your fault or not actually problems but I have to fix my face to look and sound sympathetic.
    ahhhhh yuh seet doh.

    I mean obviously being in the dating world come with it ups and downs but if anything I go straight to the source and ask A MAN...not a nex single woman. Or I observe. Like observing what are the overall traits of the women different groups of men are marrying these days?

    And I remember having a REALLY bad time at one point this summer (not relationship related just in general) and I really disappeared from the world for days, no fb no phone calls absolutely nothing. A friend in south florida actually came on my fb to post where i was and if everything was okay (cause normally i'm on everyday). I didn't even know she noticed my comments like that.

    In older times if I was stressed I got a sitter, jumped on my bike and took off as far and as fast as I could go...but unfortunately that sense of freedom from the everyday b.s. hard to get WITHOUT the bike. I think I developed my habits from the fact that if i break up with a guy or ex-husband it's also breaking up with my best friend...and my life always seems off-cycle to everyone else's so what I'm dealing with, they are not.

    If I had someone I took my stress out on them in bed i didn't call up some girl but hey that's another story in itself. lols.
    Who has eyes to see, let them see...

  14. #14
    Black Madonna
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brownilus View Post
    *falls off chair in shock*

    No I'm kidding there's always stuff we agree on and don't.
    that shit is all true that's why it's so funny. hubby and I laugh at many people. I have posted many a story about his friends here, that we be shaking our heads on. I don't keep too much woman company but we laugh at their drama. like BD I dont have the patience for man drama like one time. Y'all see the way I act here.... imagine me in real life. the last 2 are spot on. the culture of dating now is ridiculous. Absurd to say the least

  15. #15
    Juan Dan
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    tred ya a badniss to

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