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Thread: Ladies: How important is it for a man to be a GENTLEMAN?

  1. #1
    Black Madonna
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    Ladies: How important is it for a man to be a GENTLEMAN?

    Does a man have to exhibit gentleman qualities in order to get a pass. and not just with you...but all women? Is being a nice guy to all women a bad thing or should he only be that way with you? And I mean this on all levels, whether you are just dating casually to exclusive to committed and building a life.

    should he always walk on the outside?
    Should he always do the soccer mom arm reach in the car when they stop short?
    Should he hold open doors and pull out chairs...get and put on your coat?
    Ofer to help old ladies with groceries and women with strollers on the steps?

    I saw a woman complaining about that on FB (no [black] man helping her on the subway with a stroller) And it started a convo. I dont want to focus on black men. but rather how important this is to us women and whether it should only be reserved for who he is involved with or women in general.

    I realize that there are a few women that call on my hubby for things that I wonder is inappropriate or not. these are women whose car he worked on and they wold call on him for "men stuff" because they have no men in their life. I mean him offering because that is his nature is one thing...but calling on him.....not sure what to make of that yet.

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    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Madonna View Post
    Should he always do the soccer mom arm reach in the car when they stop short?
    He should always do certain things for me and general things for women as a whole...iono about "women" calling on him for ish, his mamma and sister yea but "women"?
    agroDOLCE and mz_JazE like this.

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    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    If this thread takes off....it's gonna show how Misguided and Conniving women are.
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  4. #4
    Taj
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Madonna View Post
    Does a man have to exhibit gentleman qualities in order to get a pass. and not just with you...but all women? Is being a nice guy to all women a bad thing or should he only be that way with you? And I mean this on all levels, whether you are just dating casually to exclusive to committed and building a life.

    should he always walk on the outside?
    Should he always do the soccer mom arm reach in the car when they stop short?
    Should he hold open doors and pull out chairs...get and put on your coat?
    Ofer to help old ladies with groceries and women with strollers on the steps?

    I saw a woman complaining about that on FB (no [black] man helping her on the subway with a stroller) And it started a convo. I dont want to focus on black men. but rather how important this is to us women and whether it should only be reserved for who he is involved with or women in general.

    I realize that there are a few women that call on my hubby for things that I wonder is inappropriate or not. these are women whose car he worked on and they wold call on him for "men stuff" because they have no men in their life. I mean him offering because that is his nature is one thing...but calling on him.....not sure what to make of that yet.
    yes i like gentleman qualities.

    its nice when someone is a gentleman all around to friends whoever etc but sometimes it can be overbearing or just put them/you out.
    Also sometimes you need to draw the line if this gentleman treats all ladies in a standard matter how do you the gf get distinguishing special treatment if he treats all chicks gf and friends coworkers with the same depth of care and attention to detail.

    I know some nice guys thru and thru. I'm their friend and I know if i were their gf there was just some nice guy ish they would not be doing and as their friend I heartily dissuade them from doing for me... other girls not so much.

    Nice guys need to learn how to stratify treatment else all the nice guy things they do aren't really special anymore


    random simple example which may not apply.
    I was now seeing this person and my friends and i go with him to an all inclusive fete. They think he's cool. He's hanging with his ppl and I with mine. At a certain point he comes with two glasses of what i've been drinking all night. When he drops em off they're like ummm where our drinks??. he's like its a free drinks party the bar over so. lol if u saw their faces. We weren't screwing but little things like that makes it clear who you're interested in and that you not going to be a pappyshow to be liked. I've seen that same person be a nice guy to an absolute stranger but have those girls tell the story based off of that 1 thing he may not be. All that to say being a nice guy doesn't mean you can't have a backbone!
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

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    Registered User BacchanalDiva's Avatar BacchanalDiva is offline
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    Funny, I never gave this much thought, like to put it on a list of required attributes... but it is important. Prob the reason I never thought of it is that most men that are not complete boars overall are gentlemen. I don't care about that conventional stuff like walking outside..put me to walk wherever is easiest and safest at the time. Open doors for me but not when its inconvenient/awkward. I don't have a problem with him going out of his way to help other females and in the end it makes me respect him more but there is a line, I'd get annoyed if he were start acting like captain save a hoe or something. I think the majority of men of all races will go out of their way to help a woman..woman + child etc.
    "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses." -Plato

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    Notchilous ladyrastafari's Avatar ladyrastafari is offline
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    there are some men who are bred to be gentlemen.... if they're walking strolling arm in arm with you and a woman is getting off a bus nearby with a bagload of stuff that she clearly can't manage , whether she's young or old, homeless or not, he will say to you, hold on a min.. and go help her come off the bus with her stuff ... because he was taught that it's not the woman's station in life or age.. if a woman needs help, he should come to her aid, as that is what gentlemen do... of course if he's walking with his own infant child he may not be able to fully come to her aid due to his own circumstances... but usually the gentleman is the one who holds the door for a woman to pass through before him.. hold the door for another man to get to it before letting it go... etc. etc... i like that kinda stuff.. a gentleman always offers his help as it is usually ingrained in him, the same way a lady knows to sit properly as it was ingrained in her....

    as for calling on him..well that's a tricky situation... cos things can get a lil sticky in that instance, even if it IS for his mother, sister, daughter etc... i guess it really depends on circumstances...
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    Taj
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    Quote Originally Posted by BacchanalDiva View Post
    Funny, I never gave this much thought, like to put it on a list of required attributes... but it is important. Prob the reason I never thought of it is that most men that are not complete boars overall are gentlemen. I don't care about that conventional stuff like walking outside..put me to walk wherever is easiest and safest at the time. Open doors for me but not when its inconvenient/awkward. I don't have a problem with him going out of his way to help other females and in the end it makes me respect him more but there is a line, I'd get annoyed if he were start acting like captain save a hoe or something. I think the majority of men of all races will go out of their way to help a woman..woman + child etc.
    i have a friend who does that... its maddening at times cos it seems so unnecessary. he'd go an hr out of his way to ensure i'm home safe even when its still light out.
    its sweet but...
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

  8. #8
    Registered User BacchanalDiva's Avatar BacchanalDiva is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taj View Post
    i have a friend who does that... its maddening at times cos it seems so unnecessary. he'd go an hr out of his way to ensure i'm home safe even when its still light out.
    its sweet but...
    you should tell him..or you fraid he'll feel a ways?
    "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses." -Plato

    "god is the deification of a culture."
    -Dr Yosef ben-Jochannan

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    SweetfuhDayz agroDOLCE's Avatar agroDOLCE is offline
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    it's important to me for a man to be a gentleman to me and other woman, young, old, and in between. the being called on by other women to take care of some stuff...ehh i don't really like that though it prob depends on the relationship and how frequently he is being called upon. i have a big thing w/ boundaries. i had an ex that really liked helping ppl and would go out of his way. i'd have to tell him that it's fine to be nice but you have to be careful at times b/c a lot of women will interpret your helpfulness as something more. it can be a slippery slope b/c i can see some women thinking, "he's w/ her but look at all that he's doing for me. he must not really be into her like that. he might be trying to work his way in here..."

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    Ganjalero Collie4Nyah's Avatar Collie4Nyah is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Collie4Nyah View Post
    A gentleman always rolls his lady's blunts

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    Ganjalero Collie4Nyah's Avatar Collie4Nyah is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triniminx View Post
    A gentleman always rolls his lady's spliffs

    Hibernation is a covert preparation for a more overt action.


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    ...dutchmaster, u zeeit
    Catracha305 likes this.

  14. #14
    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    Hmmm....so far this thread is telling.
    Girly boy why do you get such a kick out of dissing women? - Namey Namey

    You don't act proper, you just act angry. You act like a angry racist white new york cop.-Namey Namey


    Everyone knows MÉCHANT LOUP is a jackass, but a pedophile? - Namey Namey

    MÉCHANT LOUP like women? The only thing MÉCHANT LOUP like more than hearing that a blackman was gunned down by cops, is a hairy man ass. - Namey Namey


    MÉCHANT LOUP a battyman. - Namey Namey

  15. #15
    Black Madonna
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taj View Post
    Nice guys need to learn how to stratify treatment else all the nice guy things they do aren't really special anymore
    this jumps out at me. special to who....you? so you think he should only be a "nice guy" to show someone else how special they are and not just as a rule of thumb. is that what you mean?

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