> How to Stay Married!
>
> A man and woman had been married for more than 60
> years.
> They had shared everything. They had talked about
> everything.
> They had kept no secrets from each other
> except that the little old woman had a shoe box in
> the top of her closet
> that she had cautioned her husband never to open
> or ask her about.
> For all of these years, he had never thought about
> the box,
> but one day the little old woman got very sick
> and the doctor said she would not recover.
>
> In trying to sort out their affairs,
> the little old man took down the shoe box and took
> it to his wife's bedside.
> She agreed that it was time that he should know
> what was in the box.
>
> When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls
> and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
>
> He asked her about the contents.
> "When we were to be married," she said,
> "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy
> marriage was to never argue.
> She told me that if I ever got angry with you,
> I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
>
> The little old man was so moved; he had to fight
> back tears.
> Only two precious dolls were in the box.
> She had only been angry with him two times
> in all those years of living and loving.
> He almost burst with happiness.
>
> "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what
> about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
> Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling
> the dolls."
>
> men will love this..
>
> A Prayer...... .
> Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
>
> Love to forgive him;
> And patience for his moods;
> Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
> I might beat him to death.
> And I don't know how to crochet.
> Amen!
>
>
>
>
> When a man steals your wife,
> there is no better revenge
> than to let him keep her.
> David Bissonette
> ~ * ~
>
>
>
> After marriage, husband and wife become 2 sides of a
> coin;
> they just can't face each other,
> but still they stay together.
> Sacha Guitry
> ~ * ~
>
>
> By all means marry.
> If you get a good wife,
> you'll be happy.
> If you get a bad one,
> you'll become a philosopher.
> Socrates
>
>
>
> Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
> from achieving them.
> Dumas
>
>
>
> The great question... which
> I have not been able to answer... is,
> "What does a woman want?
> Sigmund Freud
>
>
>
> I had some words with my wife, and she had some
> paragraphs with me.
> Anonymous
>
>
>
> "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
> take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
> A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
> dancing.
> She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
> Henny Youngman
>
>
>
> "I don't worry about terrorism.
> I was married for two years."
> Sam Kinison
>
>
>
> "There's a way of transferring funds that is even
> faster
> than electronic banking.
> It's called marriage."
> James Holt McGavran
>
>
>
> "I've had bad luck with
> both my wives.
> The first one left me,
> and the second one didn't."
> Patrick Murray
>
>
>
> Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
> 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
> 2. Whenever you're right,
> shut up.
> Nash
>
>
>
> The most effective way to remember your wife's
> birthday is
> to forget it once...
> Anonymous
>
>
>
> You know what I did before I married? Anything I
> wanted to.
> Henny Youngman
>
>
>
> My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
> met.
> Rodney Dangerfield
>
>
>
> A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
> wrong.
> Milton Berle
>
>
>
> Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
> enemy.
> Anonymous
>
>
>
> A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
> wanted".
> Next day he received a hundred letters. They all
> said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> Anonymous
>
>
>
> First Guy (says proudly):
> "My wife's an angel!"
> Second Guy:
> "You're lucky, mine's still alive."