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Thread: How to stay married (long read)

  1. #1
    17 61 Ingram_Gordon's Avatar Ingram_Gordon is offline
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    How to stay married (long read)

    > How to Stay Married!
    >
    > A man and woman had been married for more than 60
    > years.
    > They had shared everything. They had talked about
    > everything.
    > They had kept no secrets from each other
    > except that the little old woman had a shoe box in
    > the top of her closet
    > that she had cautioned her husband never to open
    > or ask her about.
    > For all of these years, he had never thought about
    > the box,
    > but one day the little old woman got very sick
    > and the doctor said she would not recover.
    >
    > In trying to sort out their affairs,
    > the little old man took down the shoe box and took
    > it to his wife's bedside.
    > She agreed that it was time that he should know
    > what was in the box.
    >
    > When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls
    > and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
    >
    > He asked her about the contents.
    > "When we were to be married," she said,
    > "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy
    > marriage was to never argue.
    > She told me that if I ever got angry with you,
    > I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
    >
    > The little old man was so moved; he had to fight
    > back tears.
    > Only two precious dolls were in the box.
    > She had only been angry with him two times
    > in all those years of living and loving.
    > He almost burst with happiness.
    >
    > "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what
    > about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
    > Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling
    > the dolls."
    >
    > men will love this..
    >
    > A Prayer...... .
    > Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
    >
    > Love to forgive him;
    > And patience for his moods;
    > Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
    > I might beat him to death.
    > And I don't know how to crochet.
    > Amen!
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > When a man steals your wife,
    > there is no better revenge
    > than to let him keep her.
    > David Bissonette
    > ~ * ~
    >
    >
    >
    > After marriage, husband and wife become 2 sides of a
    > coin;
    > they just can't face each other,
    > but still they stay together.
    > Sacha Guitry
    > ~ * ~
    >
    >
    > By all means marry.
    > If you get a good wife,
    > you'll be happy.
    > If you get a bad one,
    > you'll become a philosopher.
    > Socrates
    >
    >
    >
    > Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
    > from achieving them.
    > Dumas
    >
    >
    >
    > The great question... which
    > I have not been able to answer... is,
    > "What does a woman want?
    > Sigmund Freud
    >
    >
    >
    > I had some words with my wife, and she had some
    > paragraphs with me.
    > Anonymous
    >
    >
    >
    > "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
    > take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
    > A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
    > dancing.
    > She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
    > Henny Youngman
    >
    >
    >
    > "I don't worry about terrorism.
    > I was married for two years."
    > Sam Kinison
    >
    >
    >
    > "There's a way of transferring funds that is even
    > faster
    > than electronic banking.
    > It's called marriage."
    > James Holt McGavran
    >
    >
    >
    > "I've had bad luck with
    > both my wives.
    > The first one left me,
    > and the second one didn't."
    > Patrick Murray
    >
    >
    >
    > Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    > 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    > 2. Whenever you're right,
    > shut up.
    > Nash
    >
    >
    >
    > The most effective way to remember your wife's
    > birthday is
    > to forget it once...
    > Anonymous
    >
    >
    >
    > You know what I did before I married? Anything I
    > wanted to.
    > Henny Youngman
    >
    >
    >
    > My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
    > met.
    > Rodney Dangerfield
    >
    >
    >
    > A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
    > wrong.
    > Milton Berle
    >
    >
    >
    > Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
    > enemy.
    > Anonymous
    >
    >
    >
    > A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
    > wanted".
    > Next day he received a hundred letters. They all
    > said the same thing: "You can have mine."
    > Anonymous
    >
    >
    >
    > First Guy (says proudly):
    > "My wife's an angel!"
    > Second Guy:
    > "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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  2. #2
    SAINTSational Nica's Avatar Nica is offline
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    I like this :
    Those Who Sacrifice Freedom for Security Deserve Neither
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    @cookingwithval
    @NicaBlack

  3. #3
    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    good stuff..
    Girly boy why do you get such a kick out of dissing women? - Namey Namey

    You don't act proper, you just act angry. You act like a angry racist white new york cop.-Namey Namey


    Everyone knows MÉCHANT LOUP is a jackass, but a pedophile? - Namey Namey

    MÉCHANT LOUP like women? The only thing MÉCHANT LOUP like more than hearing that a blackman was gunned down by cops, is a hairy man ass. - Namey Namey


    MÉCHANT LOUP a battyman. - Namey Namey

  4. #4
    Registered User Chappahx's Avatar Chappahx is offline
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    funny but why the cynicism about marriage?
    Get more guitar instrumentals at:
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  5. #5
    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chappahx View Post
    funny but why the cynicism about marriage?

    you married?
    Girly boy why do you get such a kick out of dissing women? - Namey Namey

    You don't act proper, you just act angry. You act like a angry racist white new york cop.-Namey Namey


    Everyone knows MÉCHANT LOUP is a jackass, but a pedophile? - Namey Namey

    MÉCHANT LOUP like women? The only thing MÉCHANT LOUP like more than hearing that a blackman was gunned down by cops, is a hairy man ass. - Namey Namey


    MÉCHANT LOUP a battyman. - Namey Namey

  6. #6
    Southern Belle mz_JazE's Avatar mz_JazE is offline
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    good one Ingram I need to learn how to crochet lol

  7. #7
    ank
    Registered User ank's Avatar ank is offline
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    long..

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