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Thread: How do you tell you're being used?

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    Carnival Addict! trinimimz's Avatar trinimimz is offline
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    How do you tell you're being used?

    The age old question how do you tell you're being used?

    Do you have friends or a partner who's always asking for a favor or handout?

    How do you distinguish being used from just shear paranoia of being used?

    People always say look at the situation objectively and assess...but sometimes that's easier said than done, how do you distinguish between people who really need help and users?

    I am naturally a very giving person and lucky to come from a semi privilaged family with my own car etc, and being nice equates to being an ass in people's eyes, I admit I have slight paranoia of being used, simply because it has happened too many times.

    So how do you deal with this

  2. #2
    Pebbles362436
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    One big hint. They start blowing up your phones, text message, fb, bbm, twitter certain times of year pretending "they checking up on you".lol Ten minutes into the conversation they are like or btw can I ask you for a favor.lol

    If it's not a two way street then I ignore the their phone calls etc and eventually they get the hint.

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    Carnival Addict! trinimimz's Avatar trinimimz is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles362436 View Post
    One big hint. They start blowing up your phones, text message, fb, bbm, twitter certain times of year pretending "they checking up on you".lol Ten minutes into the conversation they are like or btw can I ask you for a favor.lol

    If it's not a two way street then I ignore the their phone calls etc and eventually they get the hint.
    lol yep I deal with those types the same way, but its the close friends who put you on the spot is what gets me....like for example.

    They ask you to pick them up, when you get there,they've got another person with them, "Um is it okay if we drop so and so home?" with said person next to them...Those kind of situations get me facking vex, cause it's like what, you want me to be like hell nah she could travel, right infront their face?

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    Notchilous ladyrastafari's Avatar ladyrastafari is offline
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    simply say, nah i can't make that run... after i drop you off i have to make a quick run... so let me know what you doing.. ..(Basically you and she travel together or you take your drop and humble).. i mean if it's a one time thing then okay but every time? nah... dat is advantage

    and yea like pebbles say.. if somebody call you and at some point they ask you for something you gotta be like hmm lemme see what they working with.. if its money, you don't have, even if the wallet in your purse growing like a tumor.. if it's something else and you realize this person does not extend any sort of reciprocal favor to you then that's an issue.. i mean if you both do a lot of shit for each other then that's their need and they fulfil for you is yours.. ya dig..
    Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

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    mi style still sharp .....u a A-Minor and dem a B-Flat

  5. #5
    Pebbles362436
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    Quote Originally Posted by trinimimz View Post
    lol yep I deal with those types the same way, but its the close friends who put you on the spot is what gets me....like for example.

    They ask you to pick them up, when you get there,they've got another person with them, "Um is it okay if we drop so and so home?" with said person next to them...Those kind of situations get me facking vex, cause it's like what, you want me to be like hell nah she could travel, right infront their face?
    If they are my really very close friends or my sisters then I don't mind driving around the world for them or I'll just give them the keys to my car. However, if they the types that always need/looking for a ride because they don't drive. I can be rude and direct just be like. How do you plan on getting back home ahead of time? I dealt with that all through college with everybody acting like I'm a taxi driver. You learn how to enjoy rolling places alone and meeting up with folks whenever you get there.lol I am not 1-800-call-ataxi When I'm tired its cool to be able to jump in your car and just be out. Sometimes I don't even say bye to some of them. I just bounce without them knowing.lol

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    Carnival Addict! trinimimz's Avatar trinimimz is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles362436 View Post
    If they are my really very close friends or my sisters then I don't mind driving around the world for them or I'll just give them the keys to my car. However, if they the types that always need/looking for a ride because they don't drive. I can be rude and direct just be like. How do you plan on getting back home ahead of time? I dealt with that all through college with everybody acting like I'm a taxi driver. You learn how to enjoy rolling places alone and meeting up with folks whenever you get there.lol I am not 1-800-call-ataxi When I'm tired its cool to be able to jump in your car and just be out. Sometimes I don't even say bye to some of them. I just bounce without them knowing.lol
    that's my thing, its a few close people and they always want to go out and so on....sometimes i don't mind going, but maintaining a car is NOT cheap, running up my mileage and using my gas with no contribution from them...it becomes irritating and I just switch on my radio signal on my bb.

    Then there is the other issue I am not 100% healthy infact im not even 80% so I am not always up to it, when Im good I do everything I want, but heaven forbid I have down time....

    but straying from the topic, clingy friends, you lime heavy with eachother and they get clingy and wanna invite themselves to all kinds of stuff...how do you deal with that? lol I jus distance thy self

  7. #7
    Pebbles362436
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    Quote Originally Posted by trinimimz View Post
    that's my thing, its a few close people and they always want to go out and so on....sometimes i don't mind going, but maintaining a car is NOT cheap, running up my mileage and using my gas with no contribution from them...it becomes irritating and I just switch on my radio signal on my bb.

    Then there is the other issue I am not 100% healthy infact im not even 80% so I am not always up to it, when Im good I do everything I want, but heaven forbid I have down time....

    but straying from the topic, clingy friends, you lime heavy with eachother and they get clingy and wanna invite themselves to all kinds of stuff...how do you deal with that? lol I jus distance thy self
    Yep then you definately learn how to roll solo and pretend like you don't know anyone after a while.lol Well I also don't like clingy and those that always trying to use you for something or to just get into your biz asking yuh like 5million questions when they call yuh up. That is super annoying after a while. Especially if they are not someone you consider a very close "reliable friend". Always looking for a hookups/favors and get into your biz and try to know everybody you know. As soon as some of them call me I ignore calls and keep the calls brief under 5mins.lol
    Last edited by Pebbles362436; 04-27-2011 at 09:43 PM.

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    Registered User Steupz's Avatar Steupz is offline
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    I guess yuh being used when yuh getting nothing out of it.

    Once yuh getting something out of it, then it just expensive.

  9. #9
    Carnival Addict! trinimimz's Avatar trinimimz is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steupz View Post
    I guess yuh being used when yuh getting nothing out of it.

    Once yuh getting something out of it, then it just expensive.
    lol ah like da!

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    Who feels it knows it! Georgeflash's Avatar Georgeflash is offline
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    You know you are being used when you feel compelled to create a thread asking.
    Say no to drugs.
    Smoke weed.

  11. #11
    Taj
    Loyalty to Loyalty Taj's Avatar Taj is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by trinimimz View Post
    The age old question how do you tell you're being used?

    Do you have friends or a partner who's always asking for a favor or handout?

    How do you distinguish being used from just shear paranoia of being used?

    People always say look at the situation objectively and assess...but sometimes that's easier said than done, how do you distinguish between people who really need help and users?

    I am naturally a very giving person and lucky to come from a semi privilaged family with my own car etc, and being nice equates to being an ass in people's eyes, I admit I have slight paranoia of being used, simply because it has happened too many times.

    So how do you deal with this
    you know because you begin to question yourself.

    if you know you have a paranoid personality then you most likely being paranoid about the using .

    Either stand up for yourself or laydown and shut up about it.
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

  12. #12
    Poca
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    I don't think that people can "use" you. I believe that you let yourself be used. People treat you the way YOU let them treat you. So change your ways and others will change theirs about you.

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