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Thread: Differentiating Love someone and being "In-Love"

  1. #16
    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    u zeeit Nikki...

  2. #17
    Toppa_Toppa
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    I think 'love' is 'love' but we love people in different ways such as a romantic partner, a parent, a sibling.

    I believe that whole 'in love' thing is superficial and temporary. I'd rather somone love me (meaning he loves me despite my faults) than be 'in-love' with me as the latter sounds kind of obssessive and unbalanced. I don't want anyone to be 'in love' with me.

  3. #18
    T-MAKAA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triniminx View Post
    ah mean, i don't really get the question...u love ur kids, family, friends...u are in love with ur SO...whats the question?? Do you are some countries love everyone in their lives the same ...of course there are different terms
    Some say I love my boyfriend..but im not in love with him.. Or they get to a point where they say that they are falling in love with this person.

    In America "in-love" is used.. In Trinidad nobody says "in-love" from my understanding.

  4. #19
    Hey Ms. Carter... triniameri's Avatar triniameri is offline
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    Thanks Nikki... the word love is used and abused and many people don't use the term properly....the word love has different degrees

    T makaa most people lust (eros) it's a very superficial type of love and tends to be fleeting
    And keep your money, I got my own
    Keep a bigger smile on my face, being alone
    Bad motherfcuker, God complex
    Motivate your ass call me Malcolm X

  5. #20
    Warrior Queen NikkiGiovanni's Avatar NikkiGiovanni is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-MAKAA View Post
    Nah agape refers to love between friends.. Like If I tell you I love you as a friend as opposed to me telling my girlfriend that I love her. That has always been my understanding on agape.
    no, that's philia...

    agape is the selfless love you have for your mate or perhaps children/parents...minus the "in-love" factor....once you no longer are in love with your mate but you still maintain that respectful, selfless love for them, that is agape...like my husband can call me right now and ask me for a favor...and vice versa, i have called my husband and asked for favors after we split up and we still had each other's back...making sacrifices for each other because of our bond....i would do more for him than i might do for the average friend just because he is my husband and our bond was deeper...that is agape...but i no longer have the eros type of love because that is reserved for the person that i am currently with
    you ALL AGREE with my opinion, which is why NONE of you ever EFFECTIVELY DISPUTE IT

    you ONLY have faith in the WOMEN'S ability to ELEVATE which is why you only FOCUS ON WOMEN...you ALL have long given up on Black men

    you just don't have the BALLS to OVERTLY AGREE....rather just do it INDIRECTLY

    weak men only can deal with weaker women

    in the presence of strength you diminish...

  6. #21
    Toppa_Toppa
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    Love - rational: you're accepting the person for who they are inside and out; virtues and faults.

    In Love - irrational: accompanied with a false perception that your partner is perfect. When that bubble is inevitably popped it results in the swift dissolution of the relationship.

  7. #22
    T-MAKAA
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    Quote Originally Posted by NikkiGiovanni View Post
    no, that's philia...

    agape is the selfless love you have for your mate or perhaps children/parents...minus the "in-love" factor....once you no longer are in love with your mate but you still maintain that respectful, selfless love for them, that is agape...like my husband can call me right now and ask me for a favor...and vice versa, i have called my husband and asked for favors after we split up and we still had each other's back...making sacrifices for each other because of our bond....i would do more for him than i might do for the average friend just because he is my husband and our bond was deeper...that is agape...but i no longer have the eros type of love because that is reserved for the person that i am currently with
    I see what you saying but to me agape didnt have any romantic connections. but okay..

    Answer this, the person you are currently with.. you are in-love with them?

  8. #23
    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-MAKAA View Post
    Some say I love my boyfriend..but im not in love with him.. Or they get to a point where they say that they are falling in love with this person.

    In America "in-love" is used.. In Trinidad nobody says "in-love" from my understanding.
    those people are retarded...

    Quote Originally Posted by Toppa_Toppa View Post
    Love - rational: you're accepting the person for who they are inside and out; virtues and faults.

    In Love - irrational: accompanied with a false perception that your partner is perfect. When that bubble is inevitably popped it results in the swift dissolution of the relationship.
    ...this makes perfect sense

  9. #24
    Hey Ms. Carter... triniameri's Avatar triniameri is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toppa_Toppa View Post
    Love - rational: you're accepting the person for who they are inside and out; virtues and faults.

    In Love - irrational: accompanied with a false perception that your partner is perfect. When that bubble is inevitably popped it results in the swift dissolution of the relationship.


    Toppa you are actually proving the point- the majority of what people consider "love" is actually "in-love" ... the terms are misused on a regular basis
    And keep your money, I got my own
    Keep a bigger smile on my face, being alone
    Bad motherfcuker, God complex
    Motivate your ass call me Malcolm X

  10. #25
    Warrior Queen NikkiGiovanni's Avatar NikkiGiovanni is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-MAKAA View Post
    I see what you saying but to me agape didnt have any romantic connections. but okay..

    Answer this, the person you are currently with.. you are in-love with them?

    that is definitely building up rapidly, because everyday he does something that amazes me, because of his sincerity and selflessness...kinda like the Alannis Morissette song, "Head over Feet"

    he won me over, in spite of me...i wasn't planning on it, and i didn't want it and fought it every step of the way...but for some reason this dude was determined to love me and show me something better than i was used to...and dammit he sure did...little young fella too....lol
    you ALL AGREE with my opinion, which is why NONE of you ever EFFECTIVELY DISPUTE IT

    you ONLY have faith in the WOMEN'S ability to ELEVATE which is why you only FOCUS ON WOMEN...you ALL have long given up on Black men

    you just don't have the BALLS to OVERTLY AGREE....rather just do it INDIRECTLY

    weak men only can deal with weaker women

    in the presence of strength you diminish...

  11. #26
    T-MAKAA
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    Quote Originally Posted by NikkiGiovanni View Post
    that is definitely building up rapidly, because everyday he does something that amazes me, because of his sincerity and selflessness...kinda like the Alannis Morissette song, "Head over Feet"

    he won me over, in spite of me...i wasn't planning on it, and i didn't want it and fought it every step of the way...but for some reason this dude was determined to love me and show me something better than i was used to...and dammit he sure did...little young fella too....lol

    So right now you arent in-love..but its getting there.. correct? So what type of love do you have now? Seems to be a different type of love than you have with your ex.. u calling this agape too?

  12. #27
    Toppa_Toppa
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    Quote Originally Posted by triniameri View Post
    Toppa you are actually proving the point- the majority of what people consider "love" is actually "in-love" ... the terms are misused on a regular basis
    No, what they call 'in love' is actually infatuation.

  13. #28
    Taj
    Loyalty to Loyalty Taj's Avatar Taj is offline
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    this discussion too pie in d sky and philosophical for me
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

  14. #29
    Warrior Queen NikkiGiovanni's Avatar NikkiGiovanni is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-MAKAA View Post
    So right now you arent in-love..but its getting there.. correct? So what type of love do you have now? Seems to be a different type of love than you have with your ex.. u calling this agape too?

    lol...it is very much tapdancing on that thin line of in-love and enchantment...and everything is mutual....he learns and grows from me (he's a youngin) and i learn and grow from him...i genuinely care about his well being and he does the same for me...i try my best to take care of him selflessly, because he already does that for me...

    for example....i stopped cooking after my husband left 3 years ago, didn't even cook for myself, had some psychological issues wrapped up in cooking (because it was previously something i enjoyed doing) all the men that i dealt with in the last 3 years couldn't get me to cook a meal for them..but this one has me cooking again....and i am making that sacrifice after not doing it for 3 years not even for myself, and in turn, he teaches me how to eat better and he exercises with me 3 or more times a week....it's things like that, that is making me fall in-love with him (when i only wanted to see him as a boytoy) and it fuels my passion for him...makes him 100x sexier to me...so the agape is building to eros...or maybe it's the other way around because it started off as lusty boytoyness which to some might be eros depending on how you look at it, that is turning into agape....but either way, both elements are now present
    you ALL AGREE with my opinion, which is why NONE of you ever EFFECTIVELY DISPUTE IT

    you ONLY have faith in the WOMEN'S ability to ELEVATE which is why you only FOCUS ON WOMEN...you ALL have long given up on Black men

    you just don't have the BALLS to OVERTLY AGREE....rather just do it INDIRECTLY

    weak men only can deal with weaker women

    in the presence of strength you diminish...

  15. #30
    Taj
    Loyalty to Loyalty Taj's Avatar Taj is offline
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    wow nikki what a way to share wid d family yuh does come make all kina mad thread bout man, now you have a lil boo WHO IS MALE OMG! yuh cyar even self update we mek we happy fuh yuh.

    family ah boy!
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

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