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Thread: Daughter of Two Moms Comes Out Against Gay Marriage.

  1. #1
    Sagattarius notorious saga's Avatar notorious saga is offline
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    Arrow Daughter of Two Moms Comes Out Against Gay Marriage.

    Daughter of Two Moms Comes Out Against Gay Marriage

    ‎March‎ ‎18‎, ‎2015

    Heather Barwick, who has come out against gay marriage despite having a lesbian mom. Photo via Women of Grace.

    A South Carolina woman’s new essay about being raised by her lesbian mom contains a surprising revelation: she opposes marriage equality.

    “Gay community, I am your daughter. My mom raised me with her same-sex partner back in the ’80s and ’90s,” writes Heather Barwick, a 31-year-old mother of four, in The Federalist. “I’m writing to you because I’m letting myself out of the closet: I don’t support gay marriage. But it might not be for the reasons that you think. It’s not because you’re gay. I love you, so much. It’s because of the nature of the same-sex relationship itself.”

    Barwick, who also recently shared her story with the Christian publication World — and who signed onto a letter of support to designers Dolce & Gabbana following their controversial statements regarding gay and lesbian parents — would not speak with Yahoo Parenting. She replied to an interview request with the following message: “At the moment I’m unable to do an interview or further commenting on my letter.”

    STORY: How to Deal When Your Parent Comes Out

    In her essay, she explains that when she was 2 or 3, her mother, who already knew that she was gay, left Barwick’s father to have a relationship with a woman. “Her partner treated me as if I was her own daughter,” she writes. “Along with my mom’s partner, I also inherited her tight-knit community of gay and lesbian friends.” Her father, meanwhile, “wasn’t a great guy,” and “didn’t bother coming around anymore.”

    As she grew up with her loving mom and stepmom, Barwick writes, her family taught her “how to be brave,” have “empathy,” “how to listen,” and “how to stand up for myself, even if that means I stand alone.” And for a while — into her 20s — that meant being an advocate for gay marriage. But now she’s had a change of heart.

    “Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not,” she writes. “A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.”

    But while her argument is heartfelt, note some gay-parenting supporters, it’s also full of holes.

    “There’s nothing wrong with her sharing her experience — it’s an important conversation, and one that we have, and should have, all the time,” Gabriel Blau, executive director of the Family Equality Council, tells Yahoo Parenting. “But denying a huge swath of American citizens our civil rights is not an answer.”

    Blau, who is raising a 7-year-old son with his husband, adds, “I think it’s disingenuous to say you don’t support LGBT rights and that your concern is children. Supporting marriage equality does not create our families — it creates support for families that already exist.” He adds that Barwick’s pain over the absence of a father “who chose not to be in the picture” and her conclusion to not support gay marriage represent two distinct issues, and that her connection of the two is “such a non-sequitur.”

    Abigail Garner, an LGBT family-rights educator and author of the book “Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is,” who was raised by two dads, is also confused by Barwick’s essay.

    “Heather Barwick’s commentary mixes up several personal issues to offer a confusing argument that lacks logic,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “It is true that some children of gay parents feel like they need to present their best public persona in order for their parents to be spared criticism, and I have written rather critically about the factors that create what I’ve referred to as ‘the pressure to be perfect.’”

    But, Garner adds, “The next logical step in addressing that pressure, however, is certainly not to promote leaving these families in legal limbo by denying same-sex parents the right to marry. While I sympathize with Heather’s pain caused by being abandoned by her heterosexual father, her pain has nothing to do with same-sex marriage. We are all entitled to our personal narratives, but I strongly disagree with Heather’s contrived attempt to offer her personal story as a case for blocking other families’ access to marriage rights.”
    Man ah Barbeerian bound tuh be by de bar beer in meh hand beastly cold.

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    Girl Crush Mrs. Campbell's Avatar Mrs. Campbell is offline
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    Based on the article you posted...

    Her longing would be the same if she was raised by a single mom, no mom, granny, tanty, etc.
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    Trini Shotta str8finessin's Avatar str8finessin is offline
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    I dont actually have a problem with homosexual raising kids because I can personally tell you there's some focked up heterosexual parents in the world who don't deserve children, so maybe a good gay person deserves them.

    But the thing that gets me with the homosexual parent thing is the thought of two homosexual males for example displaying feminine faggot behaviour in front their adopted son. That's just focked up in my opinion because you see how some of them gays try to act like women and all annoying and shit. Stuff like that will make boys weak. They might turn gay too or they will accept other men being weak and feminine around them because they will think it's normal. Before you say it's normal, it's not normal. Like less than 10% of people are gay. It is weird. Men suppose to be strong and independent. These gays some of them try to be weak and dependent like a woman. That is wrong and not good for society. I feel bad for kids especially young boys who have to experience that. Hopefully this gay trend that's been going around lately will end soon but I feel like the media and government is really pushing the gay agenda. They need to stop legalizing gay marriage and start banning gays in my opinion.

  4. #4
    Sagattarius notorious saga's Avatar notorious saga is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Campbell View Post
    Based on the article you posted...

    Her longing would be the same if she was raised by a single mom, no mom, granny, tanty, etc.
    I think it's an ulterior motive, maybe she just trying to sell her book.
    Man ah Barbeerian bound tuh be by de bar beer in meh hand beastly cold.

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    Who feels it knows it! Georgeflash's Avatar Georgeflash is offline
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    The logic is flawed.
    She has daddy issues. Has nothing to do with who her mother brought home.

    Gay marriage should be banned for a sundry of other reasons.
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    Registered User sharkie is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Georgeflash View Post
    The logic is flawed.
    She has daddy issues. Has nothing to do with who her mother brought home.

    Gay marriage should be banned for a sundry of other reasons.
    I agree with the former, but not the latter.

    She has daddy issues and would have had the same feelings if her father grew up in her home but was just as absent.

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    Registered User sharkie is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by notorious saga View Post
    I think it's an ulterior motive, maybe she just trying to sell her book.
    I honestly think that she's seriously hurt, but she assumes that if her stepmother was not there, that her father WOULD have been there. But men pick up and leave and never return all the time and your mother turning gay had nothing to do with that.

    What is obvious, is that she really didn't have strong male influences in the home that were dedicated to her.
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    Registered User bktrini305's Avatar bktrini305 is offline
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    You can't make children grateful eh?

    This actually raises a great issue about heteronormative privilege. She is an idiot with daddy issues, but it is obvious to me that children miss people of a variety of genders in their lives.
    There are also lots of gay children that need a gay figure in their lives but don't have the privilege. My godfather is gay, but I figured that out myself and actively didn't like him partially for that reason because i didn't get to see him in my own image growing up. I still don't like the man... but that's because he's an asshole not because he's gay.

    She is heterosexual I'm assuming (i read a bit quickly). She needed a male figure in her life and felt abandoned. My grandfather was a drunk absentee father. My mother still has issues with it and probably has let it affect her relationship with both us and our father. Her older sister gave zero focks.

    It also raises the issue of sexism. I'm a gay man and with the amount of female friends/cousins etc i have, my children will never want for female attention. Why is it that straight men and lesbians don't typically commiserate more?
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