Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Club Love...

  1. #1
    Registered User Fiyah's Avatar Fiyah is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    29,059
    Credits
    35,340

    Club Love...

    As a result of having grown up in uptown Kingston, Jamaica I will always have an appreciation for a decent session. There are nights when I have an intense desire to stand amongst a throng of revelers and smell cigarette smoke and stale alcohol. Believe it or not, it relaxes me. Of late, though, I find myself returning from the club disappointed and downtrodden (and not because a late night/early morning booty call bailed on me).

    Here is a list of what irks me about clubs:

    1. The lines at the door when they know full and well there is no one inside the raasclaat place!

    2. The women who walk through the crowd, stepping on my feet with their stilettos and yet they don't even have the common courtesy to give me their phone numbers.

    3. People who smoke and then try to walk through the crowd with their lit butts. If only there was a way to send them the bill for the cigarette burns in my shirts.

    4. Bar posers. They lean against the bar as if they are the only ones keeping it from falling and prevent people like me from getting their drink on pronto.

    5. Married people. They should check for marriage and engagement rings at the entrance with the same zeal they check IDs. Sorry, single people only. If you are married you are only a distraction or a wild goose chase for those that do not notice the ring until it's too late and we have already bought you several drinks.

    6. The throngs of people that hang out outside the club after last call. Go home! If she didn't give you her number by now you ain't getting it.

    7. People on cell phones in clubs. Who the bloodclaat are yuh talking too?! Oh! Thatís right! You can't even hear who it is can you?

    8. Women who try to get you to buy them a drink. If I don't offer to buy you one then chances are... I don't want to buy you one!

    9. That gay guy on the dance floor. Now I have nothing against gays... but if I have to tuck my shirt in then I am going to resent your belly skin-showing ass gyrating on the dance floor with some hot chick.

    10. Guys that fight in the club. You vs. the person you got in the fight with + 5 bouncers = your ass kicked. And I don't like blood on my clothes.

    Despite those minor annoyances I still love the club. Now if only I could find a reggae club in the Colorado area, then I could really feel at home.

  2. #2
    sharkie
    Guest

  3. #3
    where de crix Oneshot's Avatar Oneshot is offline
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Brick City, NJ
    Posts
    24,668
    Credits
    40,160,677
    fella start ur own nuh i mean two speakers and call urself a selectka you might find ur self on mtv

  4. #4
    Just BEING Me bajanref's Avatar bajanref is offline
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    right here
    Posts
    554
    Credits
    1,006,091

  5. #5
    SocaIrish
    Guest
    you know i have always wanted to own a club, so that for once i could make sure all the people i hate will not be in the same jam as me, for once.

    fiyah you r post made me think of the club "rules" my cuzin came up with:

    Smile and/or dance -- You came to have a good time so don't just stand around and frown

    Wash your hands -- just imagine every guy who grabs your hand just grabbed the hand of some next jubie; whose hand was just grabbed by some next dog (it's like that condom ad) you are being grabbed by every dog and girl in the club; just imagine the germs!

    Don't dance with someone who tried to dance with your friend first -- You are not second choice

    Do not scream when the D.J. plays that tune that has been #1 on the charts for the last three weeks -- this labels you as an amateur clubber

    You can not do "hoochie" on the top and on the bottom -- go with the pants/skirt OR the top not both

    Do not carry a purse give all of your stuff to a friend so she/he can lug it around

    Do not carry a pen (or pretend not to have a pen) -- just why are you here anyway?

    Girls -- Do not chat up every girl in the washroom -- this is only for wimps or Beeyatches who are trying to make allies

    Do not accept open drinks from strangers -- this is just stupid (also keep on eye on the drinks you already have)

    Do not talk to anyone you rate less then a 4 out of 5 physically for the following reason:

    First of all you should never kick it with anyone you rate less than 7 out of 10 overall. Lets say you judge looks and personality in a potential s/o of equal importance then we can say that they both weigh 5 out of 10. Based on the fact that you only know what looks rating someone has before you meet them, you can only judge them on that. If someone has lower then a 4 out of 5 rating of the physique then he/she only has a 20% chance of rating a 7 out of 10 (Why would you waste your time?). However if someone has a 4 looks rating then he/she has a 60% chance of being a 7 or higher and if he/she has a 5 looks rating the chance is 80%
    .
    Last edited by SocaIrish; 08-01-2005 at 10:26 PM.

  6. #6
    Camel Toe Assassinator goodtogo's Avatar goodtogo is offline
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    845
    Credits
    1,507,055
    Lol @ 3, 4, & 5

  7. #7
    Happiness Consultant Jahpikne's Avatar Jahpikne is offline
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Beating the Kette Drums inna NYC
    Posts
    26,745
    Credits
    1,089,332
    you crazy

  8. #8
    sharkie
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by SocaIrish
    you know i have always wanted to own a club, so that for once i could make sure all the people i hate will not be in the same jam as me, for once.

    fiyah you r post made me think of the club "rules" my cuzin came up with:

    Smile and/or dance -- You came to have a good time so don't just stand around and frown

    Wash your hands -- just imagine every guy who grabs your hand just grabbed the hand of some next jubie; whose hand was just grabbed by some next dog (it's like that condom ad) you are being grabbed by every dog and girl in the club; just imagine the germs!

    Don't dance with someone who tried to dance with your friend first -- You are not second choice but ah thought we here to have a good time??
    Do not scream when the D.J. plays that tune that has been #1 on the charts for the last three weeks -- this labels you as an amateur clubber

    You can not do "hoochie" on the top and on the bottom -- go with the pants/skirt OR the top not both

    Do not carry a purse give all of your stuff to a friend so she/he can lug it around

    Do not carry a pen (or pretend not to have a pen) -- just why are you here anyway? if i have to stab a nicca....dat pen will come in handy
    Girls -- Do not chat up every girl in the washroom -- this is only for wimps or Beeyatches who are trying to make allies i'm friendly when i'm happy
    Do not accept open drinks from strangers -- this is just stupid (also keep on eye on the drinks you already have)

    Do not talk to anyone you rate less then a 4 out of 5 physically for the following reason:

    First of all you should never kick it with anyone you rate less than 7 out of 10 overall. Lets say you judge looks and personality in a potential s/o of equal importance then we can say that they both weigh 5 out of 10. Based on the fact that you only know what looks rating someone has before you meet them, you can only judge them on that. If someone has lower then a 4 out of 5 rating of the physique then he/she only has a 20% chance of rating a 7 out of 10 (Why would you waste your time?). However if someone has a 4 looks rating then he/she has a 60% chance of being a 7 or higher and if he/she has a 5 looks rating the chance is 80%
    .it's jus the club dude. & most ugly ppl are funny....i'm funny!!
    yuh sure allyuh make dis up?

  9. #9
    SocaIrish
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by sharkbait
    yuh sure allyuh make dis up?
    yep - it was just sum silly 'club rules for girls' thing she came up with a few years back...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •