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Thread: Black Women STOP Giving Me Hair Advice about My African Daughter

  1. #1
    Registered User TheEducator's Avatar TheEducator is offline
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    Black Women STOP Giving Me Hair Advice about My African Daughter

    Dear Black Women Giving Me Hair Advice about My African Daughter: Please Stop , A Caucasian Woman’s Point Of View



    When we adopted Naomi from Africa, the orphanage had shaved her head. At two and a half, she was practically bald and more like a baby than a a toddler, weighing a mere 14 pounds.

    Since then, I’ve learned much about my new daughter — she has a contagious laugh, she’s physically incapable of taking a bath without splashing the water on the floor, and her love of shoes would put Imelda Marcos to shame. What took me a little longer to figure out was hair. At first, she rocked out her Patrick Stewart bald look. Sometimes, I’d stick a bow on her head. Everyone oohed and ahhed and our new addition. But then, her hair grew, and things got more complicated:

    Within months, I started getting stares from other black women in public. If they were brave — and many were – they’d casually mention good hair stylists I could use, tell me which websites had good information, and suggest effective products I should buy. One lady at the store, actually walked me to the hair style aisle and showed me exactly what I should do. Another very kind woman sent product to school and left them in my older kids locker to help me learn how to care more effectively for her hair. And these were not isolated incidents. Far from it.

    A very bold black cashier at the mall asked, “Why do white people go to Africa, pick up kids, throw a headband on them, and think that’s okay?”

    I took a look at my cute little baby, with her little fro and her pink bow.

    “I fixed it,” I said.

    “No, that’s not a style,” she said. “She’ll never know how to fix her hair if you don’t.”

    Another cashier took one look at Naomi and asked, “Who’s doing her hair for you?” Her look of contempt told me that I needed to get someone to do her hair for me. I wasn’t having a good day, and I almost burst into tears. When she saw my face, she said, “I mean, you’re doing an okay job, you just might want to fix it.”

    This never stopped. It got to the point that I’d try to scoot through public places in order to avoid letting other people see Naomi, for fear that I wouldn’t respond to their criticism in a Christ-like manner. (It’s not their fault. They, after all, didn’t realize they were the sixth person to come up to me at the grocery store.)
    Too much to copy and paste read the rest here.

    Dear Black Women Giving Me Hair Advice about My African Daughter: Please Stop , A Caucasian Woman’s Point Of View | Strawberricurls

    Let the fireworks begin.

  2. #2
    where de crix Oneshot's Avatar Oneshot is offline
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    she is wasting her time.

  3. #3
    Registered User BacchanalDiva's Avatar BacchanalDiva is offline
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    She makes great points. Ppl will be ppl tho, better off just ignoring
    "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses." -Plato

    "god is the deification of a culture."
    -Dr Yosef ben-Jochannan

  4. #4
    Notchilous ladyrastafari's Avatar ladyrastafari is offline
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    she should just tell them.. "what i don't know, i will learn" and just end the convo... i bet if another black women came up to those same black women and asked about their kids hair "you dont do it often do you?".. is ole talk and pandemonium in the place! people are too nosy
    Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

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    mi style still sharp .....u a A-Minor and dem a B-Flat

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    Dragon Singh IslandmixUSA's Avatar IslandmixUSA is offline
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    She needs to tell dem people to FACK off, my mother had to deal wid the same shit when I was growing UP

  6. #6
    Earth Angel dollbabi's Avatar dollbabi is offline
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    This little girl will probably have a headful of long hair when she gets older while a lot of those women's children will have receding hairlines & breakage from too much braiding...
    SandyCandy likes this.

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    ***//\\*** femmeayitienne's Avatar femmeayitienne is offline
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    hmmmm -- i think it depends on how they approach her

    The cashier was waaaaaaaaaaayyyy out of line!!

  8. #8
    Registered User Vivaa's Avatar Vivaa is offline
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    That's me vs my mother...I'm a fan of the fro and my mom loves to put my lil girl's hair in all kinda braided styles for nooooo reason smh
    before you work on artificial intelligence why don't you do something about natural stupidity?

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  9. #9
    Taj
    Loyalty to Loyalty Taj's Avatar Taj is offline
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    hmmm okay given that these ppl are seeing the kid on ONE day vs constantly seeing the different things the mom does to the hair i can understand her frustration BUT the criticism she got in the earlies was necessary as she took her ass to a website to develop some skills and learn how to style the child hair. An afro out style all the time was only going to hurt not help the child.

    And the comment about the black kids in the ads always having afros and her being surprised black women were so opposed to it.
    1 maybe those lil girls have a certain texture hair
    2 lots of black women feel like black hair needs to be tamed so if it aint pressed or relaxed it needs to be braided up so she should also put into context the type of person that may be giving her the criticism and not study it

    To her article she can feel how she feels getting all that interference every day is annoying
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

  10. #10
    Juan Dan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragon View Post
    She needs to tell dem people to FACK off, my mother had to deal wid the same shit when I was growing UP
    very very sad

  11. #11
    Registered User LIONESS onda RISE is offline
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    She need to deal with it.. I mean the fact that millions upon millions of bl women perm and weave their hair is proof we as blk ppl were made to feel shame .. or a way about our hair... Lol.. So let her feel it to!!!

    Shit prolly a big dry nasty mess.. She just need to learn how to do the baby hair
    Triniminx and mz_JazE like this.
    BELLY FULL BUT DEM STARVIN'

  12. #12
    Get your passport & come ! EloquenceInc is offline
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    There goes black people racism for you...they don't consider natural afros a style, worse if the baby mixed... Black women just hate to see afros and hair BREATHING not tightened up within a 1/4 inch of its LIFE...

    I use to just tell such TACTLESS brazen assholes "I like to let her hair breathe, wearing things tight or braided down onto the scalp all the time is not good for her hair".

    Babysitters use to take it upon themselves to put her in these complicated every which way cainrows that gave me hell to take out cause her hair not really the best texture for all that, it frizz out in two seconds and look ugly, and waste whole heap of my time to undo. They hardly ever asked, and if I said no thanks did it anyway. One time since I knew one was going to insist on doing it, I said okay do simple ones straight from front to back, nothing COMPLICATED...well she still put some little pop-style in it that just wasn't exciting to me at all...I'm like when are they watching the other kids in their care if busy obsessing with her hair?
    Who has eyes to see, let them see...

  13. #13
    Get your passport & come ! EloquenceInc is offline
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    When I did the simple age appropriate 2-plait or 4-plait one had the nerve to keep commenting on how "old-fashioned" it looks. I mean at least 3 or 4 times in the space of about 5 minutes.

    Black women are the rudest and most over-entitled creatures on EARTH about the hair of a (especially female) child with even a drop of black obvious in them. They love to act like they know what to do with everybody else's child, and more time can barely control their little brats getting in trouble all over the place. Well waan drop some a dem in a hot vat of sense...

    Funny thing is, white people LOVED her curly afro or puffs...and most of the time when you look around, a married dark skin woman with natural afro is married to a white man...they seem to prefer hair that is real, whether relaxed or natural long as it real...black women (and black men under about age 35), do NOOOOT like afros. It must remind them of slavery or something, or it is too simple and inexpensive and everything about a 20th and 21st century black person apparently has to look like money and time was thrown at it. If it looks like it didn't cost no whole heap of money and time to do they don't like it...

    So they will talk to you funny about how your child hair need "doing" but their little well done princess is a virago with no behaviour and not much going on academically either. It's JUST hair...my daughter can get through life with good behaviour, good grades, and an afro or simple plaits...all that expulsion and suspension and bad mouth bad temper foolishness on a child with perfect cutting edge hairstyles every day...is BBBBBB.S.

    This topic irks me. I'm leaving now.
    Who has eyes to see, let them see...

  14. #14
    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    i think, all but the cashier, was being nice and trying to inform her...how else is she supposed to know?? Reminds me of the thread about the lil black girl being raised by white parents that wasn't taught to use lotion...the chile supposed to walk around ashy cause her parents don't get it??^^ It takes a village folks
    femmeayitienne likes this.

  15. #15
    Registered User Ms.Josiewhales is offline
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    I feel her pain...People are rude I go thru that frm time to time bc I am going natural...This #################### said about my fro one day that my hair looks nice even though I didn't DO it...I just shook my head and said to myslf this baldheaded #################### got the nerve...I guess throwing on a stocking cap and a wig on ur bald head is doing ur hair?

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