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Thread: Black Women’s Dating Options

  1. #1
    Registered User bungatuffy's Avatar bungatuffy is offline
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    Black Women’s Dating Options

    Any thoughts from our female members ??

    Source: The Black Star News
    by Deardra Shuler
    01/10/2006


    “As an African American woman doing well professionally, I found I wasn’t doing well personally, meaning not married. I know a lot of women like this. They ask: ‘Where are the brothers? Why are we still single?’ Many successful women just want companionship. Women realize not everyone can make crazy doe. However, they do want men to be responsible. I think Black men and Black women often move at different paces.

    Many Black men grow up without fathers so may not know how to give love. But I do think men want to feel needed. Chris Rock once said to me ‘Black women should not be mad at Black men for dating white women, they should be mad at themselves for not exercising their options.’ I started to think about this and eventually wrote my film. It’s about a woman
    who crossed the color line.


    It isn’t unusual these days to see women alone, especially women of color. You see them dining with friends, shopping with a gal pal or catching an afternoon matinee. These women are strong, attractive, and intelligent women from all walks of life.

    Many of whom have successfully carved out a winning niche for themselves. As they push open the corporate doors, some women have managed to stash away funds, drive nice cars, and even purchase a home of their own. These women are not unhappy. Some even enjoy the freedom that a single lifestyle affords. Yet, for many women, the American Dream of achievement has a slightly bitter aftertaste. Without that special someone to share their success with what is a single Black woman to do. Many ask: Where are the Black men?

    These women are not just seeking any Black man. They seek Black men who are their intellectual and spiritual equivalents. While Black women may not expect Black men to match their salaries, they do expect them to be emotional and financial contributors. With an increasingly limited dating field what is a loyal Black woman’s choice? Statistics estimate that 10 percent of Black men are marrying white women. These numbers continue to grow as some Black men hop color lines after achieving success. Therefore, is it now time, for loyal Black women, to consider other alternatives? Television writer and co-executive producer Kriss Turner explores these options in her upcoming movie, “Something New” starring Sanaa Lathan, Simon Baker, Mike Epps and Taraji P. Henson.

    Born in Hawaii, transplanted to Seattle, then California, Kriss Turner presently resides in Los Angeles where she writes for television. She formerly wrote for shows such as “Sister to Sister,” “Living Single” “Cosby” “The Whoopie Show,” “Bernie Mac,” and presently “Everybody Hates Chris.” Turner’s interest in television started at age12, when director Tony Singletary first handed her a “What’s Happening” and “What’s Happening Now” script. Turner was hooked.

    “I knew I wanted to be in show business but initially I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do. I thought perhaps I would write a book or be a producer or director. I ended up being a PA (production assistant). I got folks coffee, lunches and answered phones for many years. I did whatever it took to be around the business. I even developed major secretarial skills as a writer’s assistant,” elucidated Ms. Turner. “But frankly, that is the best way to learn the business; from the bottom up. People often ask me how they can get into television writing. I tell them get in on the ground floor, meet people, ask questions, observe and hopefully when ready, you will know someone to give your work to…On my shows, my title is co-executive producer but that is really an elevated TV writer’s title. An executive producer/writer for television is usually the creator. For example, on ‘Everybody Hates Chris,’ Chris Rock and Ali LeRoi created that show and are definitely involved with it.”

    Turner explained the complexities a budding writer faces when presenting ideas or scripts to the television industry. “It is very difficult for people who haven’t done television before to get into television writing and/or sell an idea about a show, mainly because the buyers who are buying shows are looking for experienced people. However, there is always the possibility that if you haven’t developed a show before, they might pair you up with a more experienced person,” she explained. “Usually, the way it works is that you have to have already written a few shows. If you have a story concept, you would then discuss your concept with an agent, who in turn, sets you up with a studio. If the studio likes your story the studio presents your idea to the network.

    If the network likes it, they order it and then pay a licensing fee to the studio to air it. The studio pays the writer to write the show. The writer writes a few drafts of the pilot. If the pilot goes over, then the brass orders 13 episodes which in TV language is called ordering your pilot to series. Staff writers, crew, and cast for the show are then hired,” continued Kriss. “I did not create the characters in ‘Everybody Hates Chris.’ I was hired after the pilot was written. I am one of the co-executive producers which basically means, I am a senior writer. The show is about Chris Rock’s childhood and he contributes a lot of ideas to the show. It’s hard to come up with ideas week after week and that is why you have a staff. We all sit around brainstorming until someone comes up with an idea, others contribute their ideas, and before long we have an episode. It’s truly a collaborative effort” remarked the attractive scribe.

    Turner talked about her upcoming movie. “As an African American woman doing well professionally, I found I wasn’t doing well personally, meaning not married. I know a lot of women like this. They ask: ‘Where are the brothers? Why are we still single?’ Many successful women just want companionship. Women realize not everyone can make crazy doe. However, they do want men to be responsible. I think Black men and Black women often move at different paces. Many Black men grow up without fathers so may not know how to give love. But I do think men want to feel needed. Chris Rock once said to me ‘Black women should not be mad at Black men for dating white women, they should be mad at themselves for not exercising their options.’ I started to think about this and eventually wrote my film. It’s about a woman who crossed the color line. My film opens up new possibilities to Black women. It says perhaps its time to let go of embedded outdated ideas and discover love can come in many hues.”

  2. #2
    work hard play harder! BLACKJOY's Avatar BLACKJOY is offline
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    i really stopped looking for a black man, most of them say they don't like black women because of 'our' attitude. i reckon it's about not being emotionally strong on a day to day level (both men and women)
    - so my options, just hope someone comes along......if he is black that's cool. If not......that's cool too! after all, i spent a while looking for black men only to find sucessful black women scare them.
    Their time has passed because they are largely busy with unimportant and unrealistic attractions. the funny thing is a regular average looking, average salary black guy who has his own passions and goals, who cares and respects women (any women) is the most attractive long term man for a woman

  3. #3
    sin
    Je l'aime rugueux sin is offline
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    I've dated outside my race and I've discovered that men are all the same. Except when dating the "other" you deal with different issues. Religion, culture and acceptance were big issues that I didn't want to deal with. I'm not ruling out anything in the future but it's not always greener on the other side.

  4. #4
    Banned saveoursoca is offline
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    allyuh just need to accept the fact that there is not enough of us to go around and allyuh have to share
    plain and simple.

  5. #5
    sin
    Je l'aime rugueux sin is offline
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    "Share"? Women do not have to share a man, half the time we turning them down and checking for new ones.

  6. #6
    Banned saveoursoca is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by sin
    "Share"? Women do not have to share a man, half the time we turning them down and checking for new ones.
    and the other half u sharing.
    U telling me u have never shared a man in yuh life?

  7. #7
    sin
    Je l'aime rugueux sin is offline
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    Not to my knowledge and the time I thought a dude was trifflin' I dumped him. Bottomline, women have a lot of options they don't have to tolerate "sharing" a man.

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    One Eye Monster Inc.. Desperado's Avatar Desperado is offline
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    Hmmm seems like women want ah male version of themselves..If only they take the time to find out about ah fella besides..tell there girlfriends bout is job is house or car...other than that u really don't know men..Cause thats what society tells use thats what ah man is..But the minute he cheats oh all black men are dawgs.. ....If u take the time to find out what ah man is then u will know what ah man is..just like school take the time to do yuh studies!

  9. #9
    Banned saveoursoca is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by sin
    Not to my knowledge and the time I thought a dude was trifflin' I dumped him. Bottomline, women have a lot of options they don't have to tolerate "sharing" a man.
    well the numbers dont add up so someone is sharing somewhere, If u say not u then u say so.
    But post yuh pic and ill tell u if u sharing or not
    LOL

  10. #10
    Poca
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    hum.. one question: what is success???

    and for black women happiness only come with a black mate or with a mate?

  11. #11
    sin
    Je l'aime rugueux sin is offline
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    LOL. Ayo, dis ain't bout' me. All I'm sayin' is that there are some good men out there. We don't need to hitch up on one man and share him with a next chick. Dayum, I don't think the situation is that desperate.

  12. #12
    Banned saveoursoca is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by sin
    LOL. Ayo, dis ain't bout' me. All I'm sayin' is that there are some good men out there. We don't need to hitch up on one man and share him with a next chick. Dayum, I don't think the situation is that desperate.
    post the pic and we can get this thread rolling
    LOL

  13. #13
    sin
    Je l'aime rugueux sin is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by saveoursoca
    post the pic and we can get this thread rolling
    LOL
    Nah, I ain't feelin' that move. All my pixs are x-rated, not suitable for the general public.

  14. #14
    Banned saveoursoca is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by sin
    Nah, I ain't feelin' that move. All my pixs are x-rated, not suitable for the general public.
    this is not the general public this is imix
    u sure its not xxxlarge rated

  15. #15
    Toppa_Toppa
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    I think these kinds of articles are dumb.

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