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Thread: Black women are not getting married in record numbers.

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    JA Soca Ambassador socapineman is offline
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    Black women are not getting married in record numbers.

    "There's a phenomenon happening in this country. Black women are not getting married in record numbers."




    Check out this trailer of " Soul Mate "


    http://www.soulmatefilm.com/thetrailer.htm


    Why do you feel this is a reality for women ?



    They have bad attitudes , lack of men wanting to get married, too many men on the DL, the black woman is insensitive to the needs of the black man, men want to keep their options open until 65, what is your take on this ?

    Does it scare you that you one day you might fall in these stat, that is over 40, no man in your life....yet you convince yourself that " you are doing just fine ."
    Last edited by socapineman; 11-01-2006 at 01:45 AM.

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    Alliouagana Garveyite soca_souljah's Avatar soca_souljah is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by socapineman View Post
    "There's a phenomenon happening in this country. Black women are not getting married in record numbers."




    Check out this trailer of " Soul Mate "


    http://www.soulmatefilm.com/thetrailer.htm


    Why do you feel this is a reality for women ?



    They have bad attitudes , lack of men wanting to get married, too many men on the DL, the black woman is insensitive to the need of the black man, men want to keep their options open until 65, what is your take on this ?

    Does it scare you that you one day you might fall in these stat, that is over 40, no man in your life....yet you convince yourself that " you are doing just fine ."



    This going to be a VERY ENTERTAINING THREAD
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    XTC Inc. carib_xtc's Avatar carib_xtc is offline
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    well a woman dont need a man to make her feel complete and vice versa so if she feels like she is fine... then she is fine... both species might just live longer
    GROWING OLD IS MANDATORY GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL

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    JA Soca Ambassador socapineman is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by carib_xtc View Post
    well a woman dont need a man to make her feel complete and vice versa so if she feels like she is fine... then she is fine... both species might just live longer
    Well, are the issues to " feel complete " ?

    I doubt it, from working in CorpAmerica, I can truthfully tell you that the women over 35 plus are looking for companionship, at least most that i have encountered that are not bitter.

    SO, if I understand, this is not a concern of yours ?

    As long as you feel complete in life, you don't need the companionship !
    Last edited by socapineman; 11-01-2006 at 02:24 AM.

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    SocaLuvinYardieGyal Caribsun's Avatar Caribsun is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by socapineman View Post
    Well, are the issues to " feel complete " ?

    I doubt it, from working in CorpAmerica, I can truthfully tell you that the women over 35 plus are looking for companionship, at least most that i have encountered that are not bitter.

    SO, if I understand, this is not a concern of yours ?

    As long as you feel complete in life, you don't need the companionship !
    since this is such a concern for you (assuming it is since you posted the thread) what part are you playing to help turn things around, or what do you think should be done?

    as I see it, it doesn't just affect black women, it affects black people as a whole, our families, etc....how do you, as a black man, feel about the site that you posted (haven't looked at it). There are some women who are not prepared to be married and shouldn't marry, while there are others who are, but have not found a suitable mate...

    On a whole, i think black men should worry less about how these single women feel, and be about the business of preparing themselves to be strong, supportive husbands and fathers and focus on the women who want to marry and who are mature and ready for that step (all women aren't).......kudos to those who are doing just that...just my two cents...
    Last edited by Caribsun; 11-01-2006 at 07:43 AM.

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    Earth Angel dollbabi's Avatar dollbabi is offline
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    I believe an individual needs to be complete in God first and foremost, before she (or he) gets married. I believe that God provide the opportunity for marriage if it is His will. I do hope to be married but if not, I will devote my life to service, adopt children and keep going. Also, I am open to men of all backgrounds so that's means many more options for me. If single and all black men disappeared tomorrow, I probably still wouldnt be worried...LOL.
    Last edited by dollbabi; 11-01-2006 at 08:14 AM.

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    Banned Conscious's Avatar Conscious is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by carib_xtc View Post
    well a woman dont need a man to make her feel complete and vice versa so if she feels like she is fine... then she is fine... both species might just live longer
    While this is true, clearly from the clip of the DVD, Lonliness is a motherfacker as time goes on. I have an aunt who is very successful in business, but now at 58, she's regretful she never had children. She has a man, but she run him like he is she servant. She never felt that the men around her age ever measured up.

    Here's the sad truth though. Being that there are more women than men worldwide, women have a higher chance at being alone than men. The disparity will only get bigger with more brothers getting killed, incarcerated, & juk by other dudes.

    I feel for the sistas, they truly drawing the short straw when all is said and done.

    Im taking applications BTW!
    Those who want to see you fail are the fuel to your success!
    - Conscious



    www.lavepunch.com

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    L O S T .'s Avatar . is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by socapineman View Post
    "There's a phenomenon happening in this country. Black women are not getting married in record numbers."




    Check out this trailer of " Soul Mate "


    http://www.soulmatefilm.com/thetrailer.htm
    ."
    they too picky and/or bitchy

    end of story

  9. #9
    Salsero de pura cepa Otorongo's Avatar Otorongo is offline
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    Single Mothers

    Factors that Influence Marital Decisions
    Key Findings:

    * The circumstances surrounding marriage are dynamic, and the institution of marriage currently appears to be weakening. People are marrying later in life, with the median age at marriage the highest it has been since reliable statistics on the subject have been available. Six out of ten new marriages end in divorce, and the tendency to remarry has declined. Such trends are ubiquitous amongst class, racial, and ethnic groups.

    * The reasons behind this weakening of the institution of marriage are debatable, but it is generally agreed upon that the children of divorce often face greater hardships and difficulties than their counterparts from a two-parent family.

    * While theories of non-marriage have been advanced by several academics, including Gary Becker and William Julius Wilson, the interviews show that these theories do little to explain why low-income mothers choose not to marry.

    * The motives behind single-parenthood for these women appear to be affordability, respectability, trust, and control. Many of the women interviewed indicated that their decision not to pursue marriage was the result of both economic and emotional considerations.

    * Affordability – Budgeting meager resources takes up a large portion of a low-income mother’s time and energy. If a man cannot provide an adequate income, or his presence reduces the level of welfare that the family receives, many of those interviewed indicated that his presence would no longer be permitted in the household. In an attempt to maximize their income, women would rather be single mothers than support an economically inactive man. Often, these men proved to be too much of a strain on an already-tight budget.

    * Respectability – Women would rather be single than married to a man who could not provide for his family or could only provide for them through committing criminal acts. The mothers hoped to improve their social standing through marriage and found that many of the men, with whom they were acquainted, lacked the means to help achieve upward social mobility. Many also perceived that others would judge them based on their husband’s activities and were afraid of marrying someone who might jeopardize their personal position in the community.

    * Trust – Relating to the previous issue, many of the women interviewed had experienced abuse or poor treatment from the men in their lives. Once-idyllic views of marriage had been altered due to bad experiences with significant others. Many did not believe that they would ever find a man who would provide for their families, be loving and respectful to them and their children, and remain faithful. The concern was often that a cheating or abusive husband would make the women appear foolish to her relatives, friends, and neighbors.

    * Control – Many feared giving up the control that being single provided them. Being able to make decisions about the finances and the raising of children were important to many of the interviewees, who had often found their power over themselves and their children usurped by the men in their lives. Rather than taking the risk that a man would jeopardize their financial situation through poor planning, or have the household chores and responsibilities relegated to them, many women eschewed marriage altogether. Many wished to guarantee and maximize their control over their families—especially those who provided financially for their families, or had played a subservient role in previous relationships.

    * The general consensus amongst those interviewed was that marriage would likely bring greater hardships and problems than single motherhood. Unless a suitable husband could be found, many would choose to remain single.

    Race and Family Formation (I would have used ethnicity)
    Key findings:

    * Regardless of their age, black women are more likely to perceive themselves as getting married.

    * Young black women (between ages of 19 and 24) perceive more economic benefits from marriage than young white women, but this difference disappears with age and reverses by the time women are in their mid-thirties.

    * Black women perceive greater social/emotional benefits from marriage than white women at every age.

    * Black men have lower expectations of marriage and perceive fewer economic and social/emotional benefits from marriage than white men.

    * Black men and women place more emphasis on the importance of economic factors in their decisions about when to get married.

    * Black women are less likely than white women to be willing to marry someone with fewer resources than they have.

    * Black men and women are less willing to marry someone who already has children or has been married before than white men and women.

    * Growing up in a divorced family does not undermine the motivation to marry. Women whose parents divorced or separated before they were 19 are more likely to perceive greater positive social/emotional benefits from marriage.

    * The results of this study contradict the notion that the decline in marriage among blacks is caused by a decline in motivations to marry or a rejection of marriage.

    * “Based on these data, marriage rates for black females are most likely declining because of a lack of available black males who can meet women’s high expectations for male family headship (i.e., greater resources), a recognition by both black males and black females that their economic criteria for when to get married are not being met, and a greater unwillingness of blacks to marry someone who was previously married or had a child” (p. 352).

    * As real welfare benefits have fallen, the number of female-headed families has risen. Thus, the view that women avoid marriage in order to maximize their income is intuitively and empirically incorrect.

    * The sex ratio indicates that African American women are limited in their choices, when searching for prospective life partners. These women may choose not to marry rather than endure a difficult or abusive relationship or the potential strain of divorce.

    * Fewer African American men are available to marry due to mortality rates, criminal behavior, institutionalization, and entrance into the armed forces.

    * Mortality Rates – The mortality rates for women are falling faster than they are for men. This indicates that women outnumber and outlive their male counterparts. This imbalance is caused by the high tendency of male African Americans to experience sudden or violent death throughout the course of their lives, relative to African American females.

    * Criminal Behavior – African American men sometimes engage in illegal activities to support themselves, since the employment opportunities available to them are often limited, do not pay well, and other few if any benefits. Participating in the crime market, while adding to the family income, is often not seen as appropriate or morally correct by African American women, who reject this type of financial support. Criminal activity can also lead to time spent in prison, limiting their availability to both the labor and marriage markets.

    * Institutionalization – Every year, more and more African American men are institutionalized, as a result of substance abuse and psychological problems. These men are also viewed as unsuitable for marriage and less likely to be able to provide financially for their families.

    * Entrance into the Armed Forces – Black men often enlist in the military, which is considered to be outside of the formal labor market. While the military does provide steady income for its employees, the majority of African American men are concentrated in the lowest-paying jobs. This also makes these men appear less suitable for marriage.

    * Since larger social issues appear to be the cause of this reduction in the supply of African American men, the authors suggest focusing policy on these issues, such as improving health care and accessibility to youngsters, providing more money for low-income, African American families, and ensuring that good quality schools are available to all. By improving social conditions, there are likely to be more African American men available to marry who can provide for their families.

    more at links
    Last edited by Otorongo; 11-01-2006 at 08:14 AM.

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    Earth Angel dollbabi's Avatar dollbabi is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreadJockey View Post
    they too picky and/or bitchy

    end of story
    I believe that has a good bit to do with this, especially the picky aspect. One of the biggest things, if not the biggest I dont understand is why so many sit around waiting for black men when looking statistics alone, there are not a whole heap of them doing well for themselves. Some black women get so competitive and nasty over the available black men. Why? Other than skin color, they have nothing more than other men. Not me and that at all. Too many quality men of all backgrounds available. Of course, it's their choice and all but yes, that picky approach has negative affects. Why not be realistic and open your options.

    Oh well...

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    Pork Mout Sugar Apple's Avatar Sugar Apple is offline
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    interesting......

    African Americans need to find out what Bim doing.....cause apperently Barbados has one of the highest ratios of marriage people in the Caribbean (according to a study that was in the paper early this year and no I dont have the link)
    We going from Sun til Sun.......

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    Bush Baby Audree's Avatar Audree is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by currygyal View Post
    I believe an individual needs to be complete in God first and foremost, before she (or he) gets married. I believe that God provide the opportunity for marriage if it is His will..
    Highly........



    @ DJ yuh have a point
    Marcus Garvey said you would not know yourself till your back is against the wall. It gone through the wall now.

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    Salsero de pura cepa Otorongo's Avatar Otorongo is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by currygyal View Post
    I believe that has a good bit to do with this, especially the picky aspect. One of the biggest things, if not the biggest I dont understand is why so many sit around waiting for black men when looking statistics alone, there are not a whole heap of them doing well for themselves. Some black women get so competitive and nasty over the available black men. Why? Other than skin color, they have nothing more than other men. Not me and that at all. Too many quality men of all backgrounds available. Of course, it's their choice and all but yes, that picky approach has negative affects. Why not be realistic and open your options.

    Oh well...
    Well, all around, men are in shortage compared to women. In virtually all ethnicities. The exceptions seem to be in Latino populations and Native American populations. But not enough to balance out the larger national trend.

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    Earth Angel dollbabi's Avatar dollbabi is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Otorongo View Post
    Well, all around, men are in shortage compared to women. In virtually all ethnicities. The exceptions seem to be in Latino populations and Native American populations. But not enough to balance out the larger national trend.
    Yes, I am aware of that, but the more options you give yourself the better, no?

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    Super Moderator Jason kiDD's Avatar Jason kiDD is offline
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    Older women market gone clear!! Woohoo buys some shares!!

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