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Thread: Black Jokes...

  1. #1
    Registered User bungatuffy's Avatar bungatuffy is offline
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    Black Jokes...

    Found this at an Afro-American Joke site... Enjoy...

    Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
    A: The black ones steal your watch.

    Q: How do you start a black parade?
    A: Roll a 40 down the street.

    Q: Why do blacks burry their dead upside down?
    A: Use em as bike racks.

    Q: How did they improve the transportation in harlem?
    A: Move the trees closer together.

    Q: What did the black girl say while having sex?
    A: Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.

    Q: Why are black people like jelly beans?
    A: No one likes the black ones.

    Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
    A: A rotten banana

    Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march?
    A. An auctionner

    Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
    A: 9 months.

    Q: What do you call 100 black guys baried from the neck down?
    A: Afroturf.

    Q: What do you call a barn full of blacks?
    A: Antique farm equipment.

    Q: What do u call a black priest?
    A: Holy shit

    Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
    A: Black Family Inside

    Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the jetsons?
    A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn't it?

    Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
    A: Will the defendent please rise.

    Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float?
    A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

    Q: What do you call 20,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean?
    A: A good start.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
    A: There's skid marks in front of the skunk.

    Q: Why are black people so good at Basketball?
    A: Cause all you have to do is RUN ... SHOOT ... and STEAL

    Q: What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground?
    A: Stop laughing and reload

    Q: What Do You call Mike Tyson if he has no arms or legs?
    A: ########################, ########################, ########################!!!!

    Q: What do you call a group of blacks in the ocean?
    A: An oil spill

    Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
    A: Cocoa puffs

    Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy?
    A: Antique farm equipment.

    Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
    A: To get the taste of negro out of their mouths

  2. #2
    trini1981
    Guest
    dis should be in de joke forum breds.


    and none ah dem funny.
    Last edited by trini1981; 10-08-2005 at 04:46 PM.

  3. #3
    Registered User bungatuffy's Avatar bungatuffy is offline
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    Something To Offend Darn Near Everyone!

    I was going to post it there but I got a message yesterday to post here ?? At this point, I will abide by whatever people want but I thought if i posted here it would create more discussion ??

    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag

    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.

    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts?

    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.

    What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities.

    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    45 lbs

    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    45 minutes

    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.

    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
    Because they have cotton balls.

    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"

    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
    Everyone has the same DNA.

    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.

    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
    He walks around saying "Yo."

    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A different bar.

    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
    They named him "Sum Ting Wong

    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment.

    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
    They're hiring.

    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with.. "a recipe".

    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time... - A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...

    Why is there no Disneyland in China?
    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

  4. #4
    trini1981
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by jebratt
    I was going to post it there but I got a message yesterday to post here ?? At this point, I will abide by whatever people want but I thought if i posted here it would create more discussion ??

    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag

    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.

    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts?

    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.

    What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities.

    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    45 lbs

    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    45 minutes

    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.

    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
    Because they have cotton balls.

    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"

    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
    Everyone has the same DNA.

    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.

    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
    He walks around saying "Yo."

    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A different bar.

    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
    They named him "Sum Ting Wong

    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment.

    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
    They're hiring.

    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with.. "a recipe".

    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time... - A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...


    Why is there no Disneyland in China?
    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

    dazz da only one that is funny.

  5. #5
    Registered User bungatuffy's Avatar bungatuffy is offline
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    Redneck Medical Terms...

    Artery The study of paintings.
    Bacteria Back door to cafeteria.
    Barium What doctors do when patients die.
    Benign What you be after you be eight.
    Catscan Searching for Kitty.
    Cauterize Made eye contact with her.
    Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome.
    Colic A sheep dog.
    Coma A punctuation mark.
    D&C Where Washington is.
    Dilate To live long.
    Enema Not a friend.
    Fester Quicker than someone else.
    Fibula A small lie.
    Genital Non-Jewish person.
    G.I.Series World Series of military baseball.
    Hangnail What you hang your coat on.
    Impotent Distinguished, well known.
    Labor Pain Getting hurt at work.
    Medical Staff A Doctor's cane.
    Morbid A higher offer than I bid.
    Nitrates Cheaper than day rates.
    Node I knew it.
    Outpatient A person who has fainted.
    Ovaries You get to try again. (from wj1001250)
    Pap Smear A fatherhood test.
    Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis.
    Post Operative A letter carrier.
    Recovery Room Place to do upholstery.
    Rectum Pretty near killed him.
    Secretion Hiding something.
    Seizure Roman emperor.
    Tablet A small table.
    Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport.
    Tumor More than one.
    Urine Opposite of you're out.
    Varicose Near by/close by.

  6. #6
    Toppa_Toppa
    Guest

  7. #7
    Kiz
    Registered User Kiz's Avatar Kiz is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by jebratt
    Found this at an Afro-American Joke site... Enjoy...

    Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
    A: The black ones steal your watch.

    Q: How do you start a black parade?
    A: Roll a 40 down the street.

    Q: Why do blacks burry their dead upside down?
    A: Use em as bike racks.

    Q: How did they improve the transportation in harlem?
    A: Move the trees closer together.

    Q: What did the black girl say while having sex?
    A: Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.

    Q: Why are black people like jelly beans?
    A: No one likes the black ones.

    Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
    A: A rotten banana

    Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march?
    A. An auctionner

    Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
    A: 9 months.

    Q: What do you call 100 black guys baried from the neck down?
    A: Afroturf.

    Q: What do you call a barn full of blacks?
    A: Antique farm equipment.

    Q: What do u call a black priest?
    A: Holy shit

    Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
    A: Black Family Inside

    Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the jetsons?
    A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn't it?

    Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
    A: Will the defendent please rise.

    Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float?
    A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

    Q: What do you call 20,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean?
    A: A good start.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
    A: There's skid marks in front of the skunk.

    Q: Why are black people so good at Basketball?
    A: Cause all you have to do is RUN ... SHOOT ... and STEAL

    Q: What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground?
    A: Stop laughing and reload

    Q: What Do You call Mike Tyson if he has no arms or legs?
    A: ########################, ########################, ########################!!!!

    Q: What do you call a group of blacks in the ocean?
    A: An oil spill

    Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
    A: Cocoa puffs

    Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy?
    A: Antique farm equipment.

    Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
    A: To get the taste of negro out of their mouths

  8. #8
    Registered User raggamuffin_ is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by jebratt
    Found this at an Afro-American Joke site... Enjoy...



    Um...kukluxklan.com is NOT an "Afro American Joke site"...

    ......

  9. #9
    trini1981
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by raggamuffin_



    Um...kukluxklan.com is NOT an "Afro American Joke site"...

    ......
    i was wondering why would ah black site have dem shit pon it.

  10. #10
    Kiz
    Registered User Kiz's Avatar Kiz is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by trini1981
    i was wondering why would ah black site have dem shit pon it.
    I ent know where de ass he come out from wid this shit

  11. #11
    where de crix Oneshot's Avatar Oneshot is offline
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  12. #12
    Whatever Lola wants... GoldenBrown's Avatar GoldenBrown is offline
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    are YOU joking???
    none of that sh!t is funny...

  13. #13
    Toppa_Toppa
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Trinikiz
    I ent know where de ass he come out from wid this shit
    Tell meh dis ting nah. Meen know wey dey does come out.

  14. #14
    Registered User Smile is offline
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    I fail to see the humour in any of this....

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