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Thread: Adoption

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    SweetfuhDayz agroDOLCE's Avatar agroDOLCE is offline
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    Adoption

    How do you feel about adopted children keeping in touch with the biological parents? Doesn't have to be all the time but say the parents biological parents want to see the child at least once or twice a year. Do situations like that exist? Would you be OK with that?

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    T-MAKAA
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    I would encourage it

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    Registered User LIONESS onda RISE is offline
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    depends..

    if i have had the child from birth..no--birth parent will not have any involvement at all

    if i adopt a child that is a little older, have known his/her parents, then yes (very limited of course)..i think i would encourage that--depending on the state of mind of the bio parents..and circumstances re how the child was removed from thier home
    BELLY FULL BUT DEM STARVIN'

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    Notchilous ladyrastafari's Avatar ladyrastafari is offline
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    if i were to go into an adoptive situation.. i would allow it.. a child needs to know where s/he comes from... i know a couple who have adopted and their daughter sees the bio parents and siblings a few times..
    Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

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    mi style still sharp .....u a A-Minor and dem a B-Flat

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    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by agroDOLCE View Post
    How do you feel about adopted children keeping in touch with the biological parents? Doesn't have to be all the time but say the parents biological parents want to see the child at least once or twice a year. Do situations like that exist? Would you be OK with that?
    yes...there will be questions of abondonment no matter what kina plush life they have...the biological parents' interest in the child's life would take care of that

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    It is I bhalistix's Avatar bhalistix is offline
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    hahahahahahahahaha, where you parents adopted???

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    Registered User Steupz's Avatar Steupz is offline
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    Nahhhh. That's too modern for me.
    If I ever adopt, I don't want the child to know shit. I doh even want the child to know they are adopted.

    Funny thing is I enquired about adoption recently and I learned adopted children have a different birth certificate, so yuh cah even hide it.

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    SweetfuhDayz agroDOLCE's Avatar agroDOLCE is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by bhalistix View Post
    hahahahahahahahaha, where you parents adopted???
    no

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    Registered User LIONESS onda RISE is offline
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    are you guys thinking on this realistically?

    most times than not..if you adopt, an infant is not what you getting...infants are in too high a demand.

    so most times, ppl get a young child that has been removed from the home of the parent. lots of times, its for really bad reasons....and you must consider if the adoption was "protested" by the parent. what kinda danger that parent may present to your child.

    Also, i can see how this can negatively impact the child..esp if the parents have other children (still with them)...that child can feel even worse wondering why the others were "good" enough to keep, buy yet, not them.

    in an ideal world, having bio parent involvement sounds nice, but is it really a good idea?
    BELLY FULL BUT DEM STARVIN'

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    Registered User LIONESS onda RISE is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steupz View Post
    Nahhhh. That's too modern for me.
    If I ever adopt, I don't want the child to know shit. I doh even want the child to know they are adopted.

    Funny thing is I enquired about adoption recently and I learned adopted children have a different birth certificate, so yuh cah even hide it.
    yeah..i feel you, but hiding it is not a good idea..WHEN they find out..real problems
    BELLY FULL BUT DEM STARVIN'

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    SweetfuhDayz agroDOLCE's Avatar agroDOLCE is offline
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    steupz, why wouldn't you want the child to know that he/she is adopted?

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    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by BABYLOC View Post
    are you guys thinking on this realistically?

    most times than not..if you adopt, an infant is not what you getting...infants are in too high a demand.

    so most times, ppl get a young child that has been removed from the home of the parent. lots of times, its for really bad reasons....and you must consider if the adoption was "protested" by the parent. what kinda danger that parent may present to your child.

    Also, i can see how this can negatively impact the child..esp if the parents have other children (still with them)...that child can feel even worse wondering why the others were "good" enough to keep, buy yet, not them.

    in an ideal world, having bio parent involvement sounds nice, but is it really a good idea?
    Being an adult and running into a family that left u behind is different than growing with understanding of a situation...what parent is gonna give up one kid, keep the rest, but still wanna keep in touch with the child that was given up? I don't think it works that way...iono...when they find out they wanna research the truth anyway...i think it would be better if they understood from an early age.

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    SweetfuhDayz agroDOLCE's Avatar agroDOLCE is offline
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    i know of two siblings that have been with the family from the time they were infants. first foster children, then adopted. the parents adopted them fairly young-- maybe toddler age. they've always known that they were adopted (adoption agency even gave children's books about adoption). anyway, the boy could care less about his biological parents, but his sister is different. in a sense, she feels that she doesn't know where she came from. she feels a way when she goes to the doc and they ask about her family medical history, etc. i think that at least knowing who her parents were (at an older age-- past toddler) would've been beneficial to her.

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    Registered User Steupz's Avatar Steupz is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by agroDOLCE View Post
    steupz, why wouldn't you want the child to know that he/she is adopted?
    What Babyloc said. To me, that's a bridge to cross only if the child happens upon it.
    To me, having a relationship with a birth mother/father is like you and your child liming with kidnappers. I just can't fathom a parent interacting with their child and not wanting her/him back or the child not wanting more and more of a relationship with the birth parents.

    I juss seeing drama in that.

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    SweetfuhDayz agroDOLCE's Avatar agroDOLCE is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steupz View Post
    What Babyloc said. To me, that's a bridge to cross only if the child happens upon it.
    To me, having a relationship with a birth mother/father is like you and your child liming with kidnappers. I just can't fathom a parent interacting with their child and not wanting her/him back or the child not wanting more and more of a relationship with the birth parents.

    I juss seeing drama in that.
    yeah there is potential for drama but that's why i said limited amt of time. once or twice/yr. or you don't even have to see them. maybe just talk to them?

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