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Thread: Adjusting to your Partner.....

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    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    Adjusting to your Partner.....

    So, I was with a few people yesterday and the topic was raised about the need to adjust to your partner, when you start or in a relationship to make it work. So, this ch!ck was making a point that in everyone we meet or have relations with, we are adjusting or at least deciding if they are worth make adjustments for. I.E....The prospective partner requires their partner to cook, you don''t like to cook...But because you feel they are worth it, you cook to make them happy, etc. etc.


    I don't disagree completely with people adjusting to make life with their partner happy...I do think that its something very positive. But I cant help to notice the flip'side which is...If you are only doing these things to make ur partner happy and you are truly not interested in these things, and they are not natural to you. How long will you be able to cope before your true self exposes itself. Now if your partner wants to hold you accountable for not doing what you agreed to adjust to...who is really wrong? You or Your Partner for putting faith that you will be okay with doing things you are truly not about.

    Now note I'm not talking about compromises...cuz that is a mutual agreement of adjusting. I.E I don't like to cook, because I can't stand washing dishes. So, if you wash the wares, I will have no problem cooking.

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    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    THIS...is why i believe u need to live with someone for a good year or two before marriage...u cant pretend aaaaaall the time
    Nica likes this.

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    Cervical Cancer MÉCHANT LOUP's Avatar MÉCHANT LOUP is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triniminx View Post
    THIS...is why i believe u need to live with someone for a good year or two before marriage...u cant pretend aaaaaall the time

    I agree....

    I just feell ultimately you should be with a person who is naturally about the things you require in a partner. This other ch!ck was saying that she doesn't keep up her house/place often, her Ex' was very clean and keeps his place immaculate. So, while they were together she had to make a conscious effort to be keep her place clean...cuz he would have not continue to date her. But soon as the relationship ended, she free to go back into her natural slob ways....
    Buh, if she meets another guy and he's a neat freak...she will adjust to being neat in order to make him happy and the relationship work. It was honest, buh I didn't like hearing that though.*smh*
    Girly boy why do you get such a kick out of dissing women? - Namey Namey

    You don't act proper, you just act angry. You act like a angry racist white new york cop.-Namey Namey


    Everyone knows MÉCHANT LOUP is a jackass, but a pedophile? - Namey Namey

    MÉCHANT LOUP like women? The only thing MÉCHANT LOUP like more than hearing that a blackman was gunned down by cops, is a hairy man ass. - Namey Namey


    MÉCHANT LOUP a battyman. - Namey Namey

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    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    ah mean, if smaddy can bring out the WOMAN or MAN in u, ie cooking, keeping house...thats a good thing, but adapting to smaddy expectations just to get eeeeeen is wiggidy wiggidy wack

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    Warrior Queen NikkiGiovanni's Avatar NikkiGiovanni is offline
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    i agree...too much compromise becomes sacrifice....sacrifice then leads to too much resentment.....better to just get someone who accepts you the way you are
    you ALL AGREE with my opinion, which is why NONE of you ever EFFECTIVELY DISPUTE IT

    you ONLY have faith in the WOMEN'S ability to ELEVATE which is why you only FOCUS ON WOMEN...you ALL have long given up on Black men

    you just don't have the BALLS to OVERTLY AGREE....rather just do it INDIRECTLY

    weak men only can deal with weaker women

    in the presence of strength you diminish...

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    Registered User Minxy is offline
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    ...u are sooooooooo not ready lol

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    Taj
    Loyalty to Loyalty Taj's Avatar Taj is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Insidious View Post
    So, I was with a few people yesterday and the topic was raised about the need to adjust to your partner, when you start or in a relationship to make it work. So, this ch!ck was making a point that in everyone we meet or have relations with, we are adjusting or at least deciding if they are worth make adjustments for. I.E....The prospective partner requires their partner to cook, you don''t like to cook...But because you feel they are worth it, you cook to make them happy, etc. etc.


    I don't disagree completely with people adjusting to make life with their partner happy...I do think that its something very positive. But I cant help to notice the flip'side which is...If you are only doing these things to make ur partner happy and you are truly not interested in these things, and they are not natural to you. How long will you be able to cope before your true self exposes itself. Now if your partner wants to hold you accountable for not doing what you agreed to adjust to...who is really wrong? You or Your Partner for putting faith that you will be okay with doing things you are truly not about.

    Now note I'm not talking about compromises...cuz that is a mutual agreement of adjusting. I.E I don't like to cook, because I can't stand washing dishes. So, if you wash the wares, I will have no problem cooking.

    is it the same as learning your partner? cos I've witnessed ppl in the early stages about to call it quits can't stand certain things about the other person...then they got married. So i always wonder if there's a learning curve where you realize how to deal with aspects of someone personality, when they're being serious, when you take a joke so far etc etc. Cos honestly I never saw that couple reaching that march down the aisle.
    “A sharp knife never proclaims it’s sharpness to the world…but the first to fall against it becomes it’s advocate.”

    You can put any face behind a mask but be careful cos someone else might be pretending. You might not be the only one with a secret -- Cassie/Gretel

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