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'...SPEAK THE TRUTH...'

Even when it's spoken in love, the truth can still create tension.
That's why we'll do anything to avoid confrontation. It's also why our
relationships die on the vine. Following the path of least resistance
makes rivers (and people) lose their way because: a) the problem always
resurfaces b) untreated, it gets worse c) disappointment infects the
relationship d) unexpressed anger leads to bitterness e) our love grows
cold. Avoiding confrontation means failing to use the tools God's given
us to restore harmony. 'Peace at any price' is a tactic of satan.
Anytime you care enough to confront somebody, he'll whisper, 'Why
bother? It'll just make trouble. It'll sort itself out.' If you heed
satan's lies you'll kill the relationship for sure. The Bible says '"If
your brother sins...reprove him in private...'' ' (Matthew 18:15 NAS).
That can mean saying, 'I love you too much to stand by while you work
yourself to death, or ruin your health through lack of exercise and bad
eating habits, or settle for too little.' Or, 'I care too much about our
relationship to let it fizzle out.' Speaking the truth in love means
taking a risk. It requires two fundamental convictions. One: that
honesty is more important than avoiding conflict. Two: that the other
person's well-being is more important than their comfort level. The
reason God says, '...speak the truth...', is because any other approach
just destroys relationships. So - is there somebody you need to talk to
today? If so, pray, then do it!

Working out your differences requires a few ground-rules: 1) Clarify the
problem. Make a careful (and prayerful) assessment of how you see
things. Is this a mountain or a molehill? Temporary or long-term?
Avoidable or unavoidable? 2) Cleanse your attitude. Jesus
said,'"...first take the log out of your own eye...then you will see
clearly to take the speck out of your brother's..."' (Matthew 7:5 NAS).
Submit your thoughts to God and get His input. When you're angry and
judgemental it's easy to wreak havoc. That kind of attitude does nothing
to restore peace 3) Carefully decide when and where to meet. Make sure
it's in private, and at a time neither of you is tired or rushed. For
instance, if you're married to a soccer fan don't try to hold a
meaningful conversation during the World Cup Final 4) Reaffirm your
commitment to the relationship. Let the person know up front how much
you value them and that you're not issuing ultimatums; you just want to
make things better 5) Encourage dialogue. Avoid polarising statements
like, 'You always,' or 'You never.' When you say something important
pause and ask, 'Do I have my facts straight, or am I missing something?'
Let's face it; sometimes confrontation does end in permanent division.
That's why Paul said, 'If...possible...live peaceably with all men'
(Romans 12:18 KJV). But too many of us just give up when things get
rocky. Relationships are valuable; they take years to build. That's why
real love hangs in there and works through them.