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Tradition in Transition
The Hindu Marriage

By Cedriann J Martin

"In the Hindu tradition marriage is not a contract," said Deokinan Sharma. "It is a sacrament. In fact the wedding is the most important of the Hindu sacraments."

It's much more than an elaborate showing of red saris and garlands, fire and food. Sharma explained that the theme was chosen in response to what he describes as "the breakdown of the family structure". The challenges of broken homes and delinquent children, he said, can be meaningfully addressed if people were to revisit the meaning of marriage.

The marriage is seen as a sacred act. The union between man and woman is deemed a spiritual commitment and teh wedding marks the beginning of a life of responsibility. Sharma drives home the point that the Hindu tradition does not recognise divorce. The commitment is supposed to be life-long, he says.

But can this ancient tradition fit neatly into a contemporary context? The evolving roles and responsibilities of women didn't seem to bother Persad greatly.

"In theory women are equal," Persad said. "That's according to the scriptures. There has long been a culture of protectiveness. Up to 20 years ago many women did not work out of the home. They were expected to raise the family. From a western point of view Hindu women are still expected to treat their husbands with respect. But generally speaking this is not subservience. It's an acknowledgment of the different roles of men and women in a marriage. In these times a greater awareness of equality has come to the fore. As far as I can tell there have been no real problems arising because of it," he said.

Sharma seemed cautious about the decresed interest in tradition shown by some professional women. All the more reason, he said, to drum ome the message about the importance of marriage, he said. And in an earlier interview with Hindu Women's Organisation President, Kamla Tewarie, said that many Hindu men were experiencing problems adjusting to the new roles of their womenfolk.

The NCIC President then explained that for modern Hindus, while some of their traditional practices have undergone a make-over, their essence remains the same. For example, he said, while the classic arranged marriage (one in which the bride sees her groom-to-be for the first time just moments before their union) is rare, young to-bes now meet each other far in advance and agree that they'd like to make a life together. Tewarie explained that the HWO has hosted modern-day singles events with an age-old premise.

"I wouldn't call it 'arranged' in the same sense as long ago," she said, "But it is meant for people to meet others with a common cultural appreciation and who are at the same level professionally."

Persad pointed out that many Hindu families continue to teach children about the significance of marriage from a very early age.

"It stems from the family life. From small it is impressed upon children that marriage is not taken lightly. That helps to keep the tradition intact," he says. But both men admit that not all traditions have gone unchanged.

"To a large extent many people are turning to the Western way where they just go and get married without bothering about family. The marriage should be a joining together of families, not just two individuals," Sharma complained.

Persad regretted that the close-knit, extended family is also a tradition in decline.

"Regrettably," he said, "most people when they are married seek new houses. Daughters-in-law are no longer expected to live in the same yard. Old age homes for Indian elders were something unheard of. Now it's a reality."

Learn more about the tradition of Hindu Marriage at Divali Nagar tonight and tomorrow night.

I think Hindu marriages are the best back home. We use to go to eat we belly full at the receptions and ent even know the people. All you have to do is happen to be passing by and they calling you in for food.


Away from that Hindu marriages has some of the same roots as other religions ie. sacred, scorns divorce etc

Very nice article in the Trinidad Express.

It's good to see the institution of marriage upheld as sacred - whether in Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Bahai etc.

Yeah, i think their marriages are beautiful.

Engagement (Misri)
the Ring Ceremony) - this event is held to exchange the gold wedding rings. The couple welcome each other with garlands and sweets are exchanged between the two families. The engagement is often completed a dinner party for friends and relatives. Among Gujarati families the bride's family presents the 'Matli', which consists of
significant quantities savoury snacks and Indian sweets, to the groom's.



Mehndi is applied to the palms and the feet of the bride one-day prior to the wedding. Also, a 'mandap' or an awning is raised. Next morning, the would-be bride and the groom are anointed with a mixture of sandalwood and turmeric pastes at their homes, which is believed to impart radiance to the skin. The paste is washed-off with the chanting of Vedic hymns.

... more..

This is a festive occasion celebrated by the bride's family. The bride and close female members of her family have henna painted on their hands and feet while the rest of the family celebrate with songs. Mehndi signifies the strength of love in a marriage so brides try to leave it on as long as possible! Mehndi parties are often held at home and end with dinner for the family and friends


THE BARAAT
The noisiest procession, but the most vivacious one too, is baraat. The groom arrives mounted on a mare, with his family and the guests and a band of musicians following, who play catchy filmy tunes and the relatives of the groom, and the guests, dance to the tunes being played expressing their pleasure. The baraat is welcomed at the entrance of the wedding hall by the relatives of the bride.
The actual marriage ceremony commences hereafter with the priest chanting the hymns all the time and directing the bride and the groom to perform some rituals like pouring the "havan samagri" into the holy fire with the chanting of the hymns.

The Vivaah :

The ritual connotes the actual marriage, for the very meaning of the word "vivaah" is-marriage. The priest ties the end of the groom's dhoti or the kurta; whichever he is wearing, with that of the bride's saree, the knot signifying the sacred wedlock. The groom and the bride then exchange garlands and then circle the holy fire seven times, making seven promises to be fulfilled in the married life, after which they are considered to be 'married' to each other. This ritual is called "phere" or "saptapadi".

Mangal Sutra and Suhaag :
These rituals are very eminent in a Hindu marriage. The groom clasps a necklace, bearing the signs of Shiva or Vishnu, to the neck of the bride. The suhaag is the smearing of sindoor on the bride's forehead by the groom.

Kanya Daan :
Literally meaning gifting the daughter away, this ritual is performed by the father of the bride, by pouring out a pious water, connoting giving her daughter away to her husband. As the tradition has it, the father of the bride asks the groom to promise him that the groom will assist his bride in actualizing the three prime objectives of married life, namely-dharma, artha, and kama. The groom complies by repeating thrice that he would do the same.


Outfits & Jewellery
The bridal outfit consists of a red and white sari heavily embroidered with gold thread. The white signifies purity and the red signifies fertility. It is customary for the bridegroom's family to gift the bride a wedding sari, so she may actually end up wearing two saris! The first, a simpler silk sari given to her by her maternal uncle (mama), and covering her head, a heavier embroidered sari given to her by her husband's family. The groom also wears white (ivory or beige). His outfit can be a traditional Sherwani (long tunic embroidered with gold thread) worn with Kurta pyjamas, or a simpler dhoti and tunic. Both families use the occasion to wear their finery and much of their traditionally ornate gold jewellery. This is not custom, so much as fashion!

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The major stages of the Hindu Ceremony:

Ganesh Puja
The wedding day starts with a prayer invoking Lord Ganesh whose divine grace dispel all evils and promotes a successful and peaceful completion of the ceremony.

Grah Shanti(Worship to the Nine Planets)
This is a prayer to the nine planets of our Solar system. Ancient Indian studies indicated that various celestial bodies have an influence on the destiny of every individual. The effect of the nine planets is meant to be the most profound. During this puja the Gods associated with these planets are asked to infuse courage, peace of mind and inner strength to the bride and groom to help them endure life's sufferings.

The Welcome (Parchan)
The bride's mother welcomes the bridegroom with a garland and she then escorts him to the mandap. The father of the bride washes the right foot of the bridegroom with milk and honey. At the end of the welcome, a white sheet is held to prevent this bridegroom seeing the arrival of the bride.

Arrival of the Bride
The bride is escorted to the mandap by her maternal uncle (Mama), female cousins and friends. In some wedding ceremonies she may be carried in a small carriage to the mandap.

Kanyadaan (Entrusting of the Daughter)
Consent of the parents is obtained for the wedding to proceed. The bride's parents give their daughter to the groom by putting the bride's right hand into the groom's right hand (Hastamelap, joining of hands) while reciting sacred verse. The curtain separating the bride and groom is then lowered and the couple exchange flower garlands. The elders of the house place an auspicious white cotton cord around the couple's shoulder's to protect them from the evil influences. This also symbolises the couple's bond. The groom holds the bride's hand and they both take vows to love cherish and protect each other throughout life.

Ganthibandhan(tying the knot)
The priest ties the wedding knot as a symbol of the permanent union between the bride and groom as husband and wife.

Agni Puja (evocation of the holy fire)
The priest sets up a small fire in a kund (cooper bowl). Agni (fire) is the mouth of Vishnu and symbolises the illumination of mind, knowledge and happiness. The remainder of the ceremony is conducted around the fire.

Shilarohana(stepping on the stone)
The bride places her right foot on a stone. The bridegroom tells her to be as firm as the stone in his house so that the can face their enemies and the difficulties of life together.

Laja homa (putting parched rice into the sacred fire)
Three obligations are offered to the sacred fire. The brother of the bride puts into the bride's hand parched rice, half of which slips into the bridegroom's hand. Mantras are chanted. The bride prays to Yama, the God of Death, that he grant long life, health, happiness and prosperity to the bridegroom.

Mangalfera (walking around the fire)
The couple walk around the sacred fire four times. Each time they stop to touch with their toe a stone in their path. This symbolises obstacles in life that they will overcome together. These four rounds stand for the four basic human goals:

* Dharma - righteousness
* Artha - monetary accomplishment
* Kama - energy and passion in life
* Moksha - liberation from everything in life.

The groom, signifying his contribution in helping the union to attain dharma, artha and kama, leads the first three rounds. The bride signifying their continual journey spiritual liberation leads the last round.

Saptapadi (seven steps)
The bride and groom take seven steps together around the fire. It is said in Hindu philosophy that if two people walk seven steps together then they will remain lifelong friends. They exchange sacred vows at the beginning of each encircling walk. At the end of each walk, the open palms of the bride are filled with puffed rice by her brother signifying wealth and prosperity. The seven steps and their promises are:

1.Let us take the first step to provide for our household, keeping a pure diet and avoiding those things that might harm us.

2. Let us take the second step to develop our physical, mental and spiritual powers.

3. Let us take our third step to increase our wealth by righteous and proper means.

4. Let us take out fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect and trust.

5. Let us take the fifth step so that we may be blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children.

6. Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.

7. Let us take the seventh step to be true companions and remain life-long partners by this wedlock.

Saubhagya Chinha (blessing the bride)
The bridegroom blesses the bride by putting kumkum or sindhur (vermilion powder) at the parting of her hair (or on her forehead) and by giving her a sacred necklace (Mangal Sutra). The Mangal Sutra represents the couple's togetherness, love and sacred union.

Aashirvaad (blessings)
The priest blesses the bride and groom. Flower petals and rice are given to the guests to shower them on the bride and groom with blessings. The wedding guests can then give their individuals blessings to the bride and groom and once completed, the marriage ceremony ends. Guests are invited to enjoy a sumptuous meal with the newlyweds.

Vidai (Bride's departure)
The farewell to the bride by her family and friends is a very emotional episode. The bride is leaving her parents home to build a life with her husband and his family. She leaves with tears of joy and sorrow.

Pilucinchuanu
Before the wedding car departs for the Hindu temple, the priest will place a coconut under the front wheel of the car and wait for it to be broken by the weight of the car. The historic significance of this is that in the old days the couple would use a horse drawn carriage and the breaking of the coconut ensured that the vehicle was roadworthy for the journey.

The pilucinchuanu concludes the entire ceremony.

__________________
****If you're over 10 And watch CNN and believe everything
You're in 2 deep, And your 35 And you still survive, idle pon corner side
You're in 2 deep (Damian Marley -In 2 Deep)****

Very Interesting

Great info..Any info on PUJA prayers and the different ones and reasons...and maybe some of the prayers used

would it be wrong or blasphemous to have a hindu wedding but not be hindu, like the dress, food, customs, decorations all the cosmetics of it without the serious religious aspects?

hmmm. I dont know why it would

I guess we still waiting

no.

bored white ppl do it all de time.

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yeah, run some credits nuh.

hindu weddings are the best, real jam down sessions, dat part does go on for days.