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Thread: Religious ideologies

  1. #1
    Registered User Sashicola's Avatar Sashicola is offline
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    Religious ideologies

    Taoism: Shit happens.
    Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
    Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
    Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
    Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
    Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
    Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
    Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
    Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
    Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
    Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
    Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right
    wine with it.
    Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice
    with it.
    Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that
    happens to another.
    Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens
    to another.
    Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
    Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born
    again. (Amen!)
    Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
    Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
    Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
    Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
    Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
    Creationism: God made all shit.
    Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
    Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
    Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
    Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
    Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
    Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
    Darwinism: This shit was once food.
    Capitalism: That's MY shit.
    Communism: It's everybody's shit.
    Feminism: Men are shit.
    Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
    Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
    Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
    Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
    Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
    Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
    Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
    Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
    Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
    Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
    Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
    Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
    Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
    Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of
    our shit?
    Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the
    righteous shall survive its happening.
    Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
    Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
    Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
    Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
    Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
    Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
    Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
    Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
    Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
    Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
    Atheism: What shit?
    Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
    Nihilism: No shit.

  2. #2
    Earth Angel dollbabi's Avatar dollbabi is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sashicola
    Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
    Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of
    our shit?


    Dais too funny! But de Jehovah's Witnesses...


    (ah need to ask forgiveness fuh laughing at dis)

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