The difference between FAKE ASS friends and REAL friends

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did
was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we f__ up ...
but that s___ was fun!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: cry with

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it
REAL FRIENDS: keep your s___ so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd
is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've
had enough.
look at you stumbling all over the place and say
"B___ drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: will talk s__ to the person who talks s__ about
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the f_ out

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will pass this on